Conquering fear of walking home alone?

Question

I, as most woman I’m sure can be understandably paranoid when walking home alone. But even though my walk path is fairly safe that fear is always there and it really eats at me. Is there anyway of conquering it? To tell my instincts it’s a safe well lit path and I should be ok?

Because no matter how many times I tell myself this I’m always on edge.

ShiftingMonke · Accepted Answer

Fear comes from a place of Unknowns. We overcome fear by exploring these unknowns, determining what threat- if any- exists, and take what steps are neccesary to stay alive.

I applaud you for taking notice and being aware. There are actually several steps you can take to mitigate, or eliminate, that fear.

First, look, listen, then look again. Pay attention to everything and isolate what doesn't belong. It may sound like baseline anxiety, but limiting your senses to the surrounding area helps you focus on what's in your immediate vicinity. Don't let your normal path drop your guard; don't be on your phone, either. Phones are terrible for distractions; the screens also destroy your night vision so if you must look at a phone at night, close one eye.

Anyway, while walking your path, listen to the surface under your feet. Do you make noise when you walk? Are there obstructions or changes in elevation? Be aware of these. Is there gravel, leaves, or other things that make noise when stepped on? Be aware of those to. Are there any blind spots or shadows that can hide a person? If so, mark those as attention peaks.

You can't cover everything all the time, but if you establish thought patterns for your path, you can focus as needed when you approach a potential threat area. Think of these islands often as you pass them, reinforce the mental muscle to turn up the senses here and eventually it'll happen on its own.

The path now scouted, what do you have to avoid detection? Don't carry a phone in your hand, that's a target for thieves. Also omit flashy or dangly jewelry. Draw no attention to yourself. You are just a person with nothing to offer on her way home. If you meet someone, look them in the eye. Do not break their gaze. This may seem like a challenge, but 99% of good honest folks will break eye contact first and think nothing of it. The 1% of criminals will hold your gaze, and that's the tell. When they see you see them, they've gotta do the math; you just went from prey to something else. Because you looked them in the face. If they target you, you'll give a description. That means they have to decide then and there if you will become too high of a risk to target, or worth the risk of a murder charge. Chances are they'll find another target. Especially if you have nothing of apparent value.

But what if it's not robbery they're after? What if they want something that once taken, cannot be returned? Now we look at weapons. You have them on you now, your hands. Even untrained and clumsy hands can be a weapon; targeted at the right place, they may be enough to determine further assault. Same with feet and shins too. Of course, simple combat classes increase your odds of coming out on top. It will also increase your will to survive, how to handle high stress, and pain tolerance. The fact of the matter is, as a woman, you are going to be at a supreme physical disadvantage with your attacker, statistically speaking. How else can you even those odds? More weapon, but not a knife. Knives have many uses but in a knife fight, one person goes to the hospital and one to the morgue. They're dangerous and you have to close in with your attacker to use it, which puts you back in the disadvantage. Remember, your attacker chooses when and where to engage. What you need is to get the drop on them at range. Next best thing would be OC spray. Eye irritant and UV dye embedded, inside 20 feet you can use non lethal force to dissuade an attacker that they've crossed a line. Police can find them easier with the dye. Drawbacks of OC spray are close quarters aren't an option, you risk cross contamination. You also have limited range and capacity. But it is easy to conceal, carry, and deploy.

Finally we have the big one.. a gun. It is said that God made man, but Samuel Colt made them equal. It doesn't matter how big you are, or how big your aggressor is.. two or three 9mm hollow points to the gut will 100% change their mind about recent decisions.

Depending on state and local jurisdictions, you may not have this option, but as a US Citizen I suggest you look into it. Yes, you'll absolutely need training. You must know your weapon and know it well. You must be comfortable carrying it and deploying it, must be able to put rounds on target while moving, must be able to safely and quickly access it, clear a jam and reload under stress.. you must also carry your path mindset everywhere you go, as you're now bringing a gun to a situation where a gun isn't presently needed, and if that gun is removed from you, then you've just armed a bad person. But if you master this, and the skills I've laid out, your fear will be all but nonexistent. It's not out of cockiness or arrogance, but because you've done all you can. You've taken full responsibility for your person and you pray no one targets you; because you've got the tools, training, and mindset to not only survive but to engage. Your refusal to be a victim will see you through and you'll be glad you took the steps to make it down the path.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Call a friend or text them while you're walking. It helped me.
However, if you want to change you must change what you associate with walking alone. People don't steal because they associate bad things with it and it makes an emotional reaction which inhibits them from doing it. You have to train your mind to feel positive emotions around the subject of walking alone. Since walking alone has no real benefit other than peace and quiet... Try using your imagination to bring up those emotions and bind them to the idea of walking alone. or just use your imagination while walking. Can't be an intellectual exercise though. Must be emotional.

Changiis07 · Accepted Answer

Thing is even if it's the safest place anything can happen at anytime of the day which why is good to have things with you. Pocket knife, pepper spray and/or conceal carry. It's called being prepared for the worse

whirled_up_girl · Accepted Answer

I've never had to walk home alone but I used to have to walk 2 miles to work from a bus stop at night when I worked the night shift, I carried pepper spray with me.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

There is an app called Noonlight where you hold the button on your walk home and if you let go of it for a certain amount of time, they’ll automatically call the police for you.

Also buy yourself some mace or some other weapon that can fit in your purse. Even holding your keys between your fingers would work as defense.

Fireguy17 · Answer

I understand how you feel.
In todays times it just is not as safe as it used to be.
Even though it seems safe it may not be.
All it takes is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I live in the country, so it is safer, but they way people drive now is horrible.
they are so distracted I worry about getting hit.

Sparkie460 · Answer

I think everyone has a fear of walking alone at night. It doesn't matter how safe the area is. I highly recommend that everyone carry some sort of defense tool on them at all times. Whether it is mace, pocket knife keys placed between each finger, or a whistle.

OddBeMe · Answer

Honestly don’t change. I’m sorry but it’s best to be paranoid. Perhaps you need self defense training to feel more confident during your walks.

But intuition is a human’s defense mechanism. Did that tall grass move? Our ancestors survived long enough to be our ancestors.

Josssef · Answer

yes carry a classic hood rifle like uzi or smth you can fit in yo bag also don't forget to carry a bayonet take fighting lessons boxing will do real shit if some bitchass mf comes up then show him do as how uncle mother fucking jhonny who came home marching makin' the hood feel gay would do them mfs and instantly turn em into gay for god's sake girl

Berethor · Answer

Your instincts tell you that you need a big man beside you, it's pretty reasonable I think. :)

Agape93 · Answer

Fear is a good thing. It makes you pay attention. If you want more confidence despite the fear, have a weapon, practice with it and don't hesitate to use it.

Rohaan2020 · Answer

Maybe you see or listen to bad news too often... or maybe something else that influence your mind... however I think a bit conciousness is important these days... ofcourse u must not be too scared but u have to be careful and have a backup when going alone..

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know how to help as I struggle with the same fear, since guys are even more likely to be physically assaulted than women are, especially where I live. I just try not to walk alone whenever possible. It doesn't help that I've been robbed and bullied on multiple occasions, which just makes the fear even more real.

Anonymous · Answer

Men are more likely to be attacked in the streets than women.
Just don’t be stupid or entitled.
Use logic and common sense.

If you walk down a dark alley alone wearing Slutty clothes, as much as you may believe “iT sHoUlDn’T mAtTeR!” … it does.

Sixgunsound · Answer

Your instincts survived the process of evolution for a reason. You could take a self defense class or get a stick or something? Are either of those even allowed in Australia🙃.

Crafteroon · Answer

Think of different situations that would be possible to happen, then spend time practicing things to overcome said situations.

Luffy1990 · Answer

You should definitely can be good. Don’t worry so much about any threat , but at the same time you should accept that those threats are still out there

Shy_Steve · Answer

I understand the feeling, I'm Shy and i usually dont want to get approached by anyone when I'm in public, Even if I have met them before. I just want to do what I'm there to do and leave usually.

NathanDavis · Answer

turn fear into awareness, and prevention instead...

cth96190 · Answer

1. Second Amendment. 2. Become a student of a martial art.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Get stronger. Become your own protector rather than depending on others.

Nik1hil · Answer

Lot of Stray Puppies, adopt one a little food and shelter and you can always have someone walking with you!..

Stevefiveo · Answer

I hear you, I'm a guy and I don't like walking alone so I can imagine it being way worse as a woman. Some women like to carry mace or so other kind of weapon.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Did something happen to make you so fearful of wolfing homes and if you really walk home by yourself? I'm? Really proud of you that's a big big first step towards conquering your fear😉

genericname85 · Answer

by going that way more often. maybe even if you don't have to.

loveslongnails · Answer

Those instincts are there to protect you. What "feels" safe isn't always safe.

ashish804 · Answer

fair enough fear is there with girls more but do with boys too of mugging

Guardian45 · Answer

Walk with confidence, have a plan B, learn wendo, carry a deterrent.

TallAnon · Answer

Perhaps take up some martial arts, build some confidence.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

You should buy a gun. It's the great equalizer.

MrCommodore · Answer

Take up MMA as a hobby

Blink2271 · Answer

i live in a pretty safe country

Smartman5 · Answer

what scares you?

LazerBean · Answer

Conceal carry.

ERB62 · Answer

Prayer helps

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