Is she faking her feelings?

[Anonymous]

I've been hanging out with my ex recently and I've admitted to her that I still have feelings, however she said that she doesn't feel the same way anymore and just sees me as a friend.

She doesn't like being touched and never touches people, to where, if we were walking beside eachother she'd back off. Recently, she has no issues with me touching her, whether its the back, arms, head etc, although she never touches me back. I also felt felt as though she was looking at me lovingly when we decided to pull in for something to eat after I made her laugh.

Recently she reaffirmed that she doesn't have feelings for me and she told me that when we dated I was weak and needy. However this morning she totally disrespected me and for the first time ever I told her off. She seemed upset and annoyed but we ended up having a great time together. She has recently began teasing me again, although it's few and far between

We went for pancakes and we had a chat, I began to just listen to her talk and eventually I noticed that she began twirling and playing with her hair, licking her mouth etc which I've never seen her do and it was quite weird. We had a lot of fun and then eventually she began to touch me. She never touches people yet here she was touching and messing with me and I didn't initiate anything. She also physically remains a lot closer to me and in the car ride home I decided to put my hand on hers in her thigh which I think was risky. But, she began to hold my hand, although I removed it after a few seconds.

We were very tired by the end of the day and I told her she should come over to mine some night soon and we can get a takeaway and watch a movie. She said that she would but implied we're still friends.

I feel as if she has started to feel attraction, however she tries to maintain the friendship and won't allow her feelings to bloom despite me feeling as though there are growing signs that they exist and she won't acknowledge them. What can I do?

[burlen]

It's difficult to say for certain what your ex's feelings and intentions are, as everyone is unique and complex. However, respect the fact that she has told you she only sees you as a friend. It's possible that she is simply enjoying the attention and physical touch, without necessarily having romantic feelings towards you.

Ask her directly if she has any romantic feelings for you and if she sees the potential for a romantic relationship between you. If she still maintains that she only sees you as a friend, accept her answer.

It's also worth reflecting on your own feelings and behaviour. Are you willing to continue the friendship even if it doesn't develop into a romantic relationship? Are you able to maintain a healthy friendship without pressuring her or expecting her to change her feelings? It's important to consider these factors and be honest with yourself about what you want and what you are willing to accept.

[Asker]

I forgot to mention that just before Christmas we had sex again* haha. Ye I totally get what you're saying. She means a lot to me and we get along really well, I've accepted that if she doesn't change her mind then I can't force it and I've accepted id have to remain her frjend while she's off with other men. It's going to hurt, but I'm going to be hurt by it either way, so I may maintain her as a friend because I'd hate to not have her anymore