Is she being genuine?

[Anonymous]

I've matched with a really beautiful and nice woman online. I couldn't believe my luck. We had our first date last week and it went really well, but she was soo shy, and kept giggling and hiding her face so I had to lead. We've been messaging everyday since we matched and we've called each other a hand full of times too. Our second date is this weekend and it is the first second date either of us have ever been on.

She's soo sweet and flattering to me. She hardly knows me, but she tells me she misses me, and that she likes me, or she wants to hug me, or asks when will she be allowed to kiss me, or she offers to help me with things. I only discovered this woman existed a week ago!

I've never experienced attention like this before, and I certainly didn't expect it from someone who looks like her. She is like a model and way out of my league. But it's not all about looks, she's smart, and caring, and sweet too. I'm having difficulty processing how someone can become soo infatuated with me soo quickly. I don't particularly think I'm anything special, and I have asked her why she likes me and she described the things which she has interacted with so far, I. e my appearance, voice, and personality. We still hardly know anything about each other.

She's Chinese, and in her 30s but living alone in the UK. I know there is a lot of pressure on Chinese women to marry in their early 20s, and somehow this woman has somehow made it to her 30s and still single. She told me she's looking for a future husband, and I told her I'm looking for a potential wife.

I like her, but I can't help but wonder if this attention is really genuine. Is the shyness genuine? Is this standard behaviour from Chinese women? Am I overthinking and I should just enjoy the experience and see where it goes? I'm worried she is feeling pressure to find a husband and so is seeing me as just a target.

[Summeroflove]

If you have a bad gut feeling. Well could be a problem some people axt. But if you feel she’s genuine great. My advice? Pray on it.

Think of it this way when someone out of yojr league wants you. Irs scary…. Will she leave? Etc etc.

But…. The way you can think about it is. Out of all the options she has…. She chose you. That’s special and that says she really wants you especially if someone’s out of your league.

Sure maybe not always. But if someone’s a genuinely good person and they’re out of your league and chose you. It means they legitimately want you. Because…. She can easily choose someone else

[Asker]

We had a really good second date. We were together all day. I think she chose me 😊

[Summeroflove]

Asker that is amazing wish you both the best

[gemgem]

Any update on this?

[Summeroflove]

@gemgem good question

[Asker]

@gemgem We're on date #6. It's going very well 😊
She told me she loves me after 2 dates. I can't say it back yet, but she respects that.

[Summeroflove]

Great to hear

[kylee2437]

So personally I hate dating apps because people on there typically are in a rush to jump into things without something being built. You can’t love someone before you like them. Get to know her and see if you actually really like her. She’s attractive and that’s great , but don’t let that distract you from the reality of the fact that you two actually need to build something that is going to last.

[BarryLiverstone]

Relax. Take a deep breath and just enjoy the 2nd date. Yes I know you feel some pressure and are worried if she is being authentic or if she’s somehow tricking you. Yes I know you are worried she may act too clingy or that you are trapped to marry her. You can’t read her mind and can’t know how she feels about you as it’s only been one date.


Most importantly take a step back and just focus on having a good time on your 2nd date. As you said it’s likely you will be leading again and she will appreciate it if you feel calm and tension free. She likes you and wants to see you so go with it and keep being curious and getting to know her.


But also respect your boundaries and life balance so that she will respect you. Certainly if you feel excited hug her and have contact on the date. But also plan the 3rd date and let her know you don’t expect to text and talk every day in between. Remember that sparks are formed in the in between times and when you have some space to process past emotions.


Bottom line is you can’t know who she is yet and can’t know the future. All you can control is your actions and how you step up up treat her. If she keeps lighting you up then keep leading her and being the guy she wants to be with. If it all doesn’t work out at least you will look back and know you did your best and had a good time. If it does work out then keep growing closer and realize you are as valuable and attractive to her as she is to you

[Asker]

What a fantastic response. Thankyou sir!