Is it better to be feminine or just your true self?

Question

Ever since Friday, my mum and I had a talk about femininity since I wasn’t really sure like what it was all about and I just had some questions.
I basically just asked her what’s feminine, how do you act feminine, and do you want me to be feminine?

She said no like you don’t have to be 100% feminine, everyone has some masculine traits and some feminine in them. after that conversation, during the weekend I was thinking “oh no is x, y, and z feminine things? Should I stop doing these things?”

And when I tried carrying a heavy box to the car, she would say that’s a man’s job. Let Sasha get it. (My moms cousin because we drone up west so my mom & her cousin could work on a house for one of her projects) I can carry heavy things. I have the strength. But is it not the right thing to do if I’m a girl?

I’m just confused, I don’t know if I’m supposed to try to be the most feminine I can be or just to be myself. This is all whirring in my mind.

Any advice please or what do you think? Should I try to be feminine or?

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Be yourself anon, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

I used to have people, especially other catty women, tell me the same thing growing up: don't lift anything too heavy; that's not cute. You need to dress more "feminine." I even had several women and girls that assumed I was a lesbian because I didn't portray femininity 🙄 That's how ignorant some people are anon- because you don't act, talk, or look a certain way, they make assumptions about you.

So of course when girls tell me the best way to get a guy is be more feminine, I call myself trying to dress up cuter, wear earrings, paint my nails, wear nice body spray and lotion... etc.

It didn't work : (at least for the guys I wanted) If you genuinely want to be more feminine and lady like? Fine, go for it! But if you're just doing it to make others happy? You won't be happy and it will serve no purpose. Look, you're strong right? Good for you I lift weights too and LOVE it!!! If that intimidates people, that's their problem, not yours.

EmmaMary · Accepted Answer

I was brought and taught to never let anyone tell me that I can't do something just because I'm a girl/woman. Just be yourself and be happy being yourself. ❤

Anonymous · Answer

I say be who you want to be. In regards to meeting a partner I’d you wish to do so one day, men tend to like women who need them. I don’t mean damsel in distress I need everything done for me because he may start to resent you. But it’s good if you can do things for yourself as well. There’s nothing wrong w being feminine, you’re a female, that’s what a lot of men like. Men don’t like women who have mostly masculine qualities because that means a lot of issues as far as aggressiveness, anger, maybe more disagreeable. Which I’m not saying you can’t have a disagreement, men just don’t want a girl who’s going to being nothing but chaos to the relationship. Regardless of how you want to be there’s men who are willing to be w various types of women. For me I love a girl who can be a tomboy, wears jeans, a shirt w tennis shoes and a ball hat and we’re off to the game. But also feminine that she looks spectacular in a dress all perty when the occasion calls for it. I like a girl who can cook, who needs me to protect her, do yard work, things like that.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Do you what want it does not matter outside of your own personal goals. Feminine and Masculine are made up concepts that we use to describe things associated with what we culturally see the opposite sex doing. A good example is men used to wear dresses but today that would be seen as female thing or the comparison of skirt to kilt in objectively there is no such as these been tied to males or women it's just cloth.

Pegases · Answer

You're a woman, so you naturally have a feminine core. It's society and this new wave of toxic feminism that has women thinking that being something you're naturally inclined to be is somehow wrong. It's quite ashame actually, because feminism has convinced women that you don't matter unless you can do what a man can do. The reality is that men and women are different, and cannot be compared. It's like trying to compare fire to the ocean. We each have our own individual strengths, and the polarity is what we find attractive in each other. So embracing the aspects of yourself that is feminine, is actually being yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

TLDR; Be yourself and act naturally.

Femininity and masculinity are defined by your own character traits; some of which are innate, some of which are learned, but all of which do not change what our identity is.

Men typically have greater potential strength due to their skeletal structure and muscle design, whereas women typically are more social and nurturing in due to instinct.

Another thing you need to understand is that people go through phases in life; it is VERY important that nobody tries to keep you in a phase - acting boyish doesn't mean you're a boy, and vice versa - you're you, and you will go through different phases until you reach adulthood.

Ignore the topic of masculinity & femininity. Just be yourself and do what feels natural.

Unit1 · Answer

I urge you not to conform to society's expectations. They will never be happy with you.

Be a career lady, they'll call you a feminist.

Be a housewive, they'll call you a gold digger.

You can't win unless you pursue your own interests.

Adam1978 · Answer

You can lift and drag around as much stuff as you want. That isn't a masculine or feminine. It's just hard working. Feminine is about being a caregiver and nurturing and that can involve heavy lifting. Usually doesn't but you never know.

RavVid · Answer

It is up to you to find your own level. You shouldn't not do something because it is feminine or do something because it is masculine.

Men do like women to be feminine that is certain because we look to that to compliment us.

Anonymous · Answer

Your mom's wrong. Lift what you're capable of. Aside from that, common sense applies. There are generally rules for women and men. You don't have to "act" feminine. But keep in mind guys EXPECT a certain amount of femininity from women. Don't want to do that, then don't complain about reprocussions from it.

magiusX26 · Answer

if you are a woman, being feminine should be a huge part 9f being your true self seeing as feminine is rooted in the word female aka woman. as well as being feminine is as natural for a woman to be as swimming is to fish/sharks/etc.

Marked_Man · Answer

You should be however you feel like being. Certain gender role expectations in dating is one thing, but in your daily life, be whatever way makes you happy and don't worry about "acting" feminine or doing something masculine.

Summeroflove · Answer

Yeah just be you. The guy meant for you will love YOU whoever you are. The same as you will love him.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Just be yourself and be the person what you want to be and not what others tell you to be.

whereismyjohnny · Answer

Just be yourself, and don't let anyone change you.

humanearth · Answer

Be yourself There is no girl thing or guy thing. If you wanted to carry that heavy box to the car. You should of

smilelots · Answer

Always just be yourself ,, enjoy live and live it to the best of your ability..

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I don't think you have to specifically try to be feminine. Just be yourself. :)

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Just remember that there’s a red like with a red door. Don’t ever even look at it

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

You are a woman so be a feminine woman unless you are lesbian...

chicken_nugget24 · Answer

Be yourself 💃

Brando10222 · Answer

You should be yourself

melanieeeB · Answer

True self

OddBeMe · Answer

What’s feminine?

riverrat3 · Answer

Be true to yourself

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