Why do I act cold towards guys I like?

[Anonymous]

I'm a very shy and anxious person and I've been all my life maybe that plays a part in it

Anyway what I noticed is that when I think a guy is hot I can't for the life of me even breathe in his direction, I will literally look anywhere but in his direction etc. for example. Sometimes I can feel whoever guy I think is hot staring at me or even see it and I can never look back at him.

When guys I don't like romantically talk to me I'm all bubbly and laughing and everything and when a hot guy talks to me I'm an awkward mess (which is common ik) and I seem as uninterested as it can get

Why is that and how do I fix it

[lightbulb27]

I had issues like that and it was a combination of, being highly sensitive person, wounds in early life related to being belittled, not being confident in myself, feeling ashamed. I was shy as well and I think that is part of being sensitive and personality.

Thing of things like a plant... in terms of roots and what they produce as fruit. You mentioned the fruit which is... you act cold, the leafs the anxiety and roots are your underlying personality, emotional conditioning you experienced, and underlying traumas/oaths/hurts you experienced. These can seem minor even, but if they were emotionally significant, they will control.

You need to find the roots, heal them (various ways), build your confidence (practice and challenge yourself), and build new patterns. It's hard, it's work,

a colleague of mine I met years back is running a trauma support gropu which starts tonight. if interested, I'll forward invite, maybe she has room. I do not know the content of it as yet. Trauma is anything you experienced that may be messing up your "now".

We had an issue with our teen girl where she was traumatized online (the precursor to tic tok) and took some doing to find the source of her issues was that "encroachment" in her life. Luckily she raised the issue, it was resoved and she's doing better. Failing to resolve such issues can cast a person "way off course" in life.

[slatyb]

You are actually off return so you remember them before they can reflect you. Get some counseling. This behavior will ruin your life. Been there, done that.

[Anonymous]

maybe your mind is trying to protect you because they're actually really asshole guys. just saying lol.

[Venymal]

It doesn’t help answer your question but just to let you know.. GUYS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME WAY!! We cannot talk to a girl we find attractive lol

[Asker]

So could that be why guys stare at me a lot but never approach me? :/ Lol

[Anonymous]

When was the last time that you were not this way? And was the guy different?

[Anonymous]

Defense mechanism. It keep you emotionally unavailable and protected. You probably know deep down you're not a good judge of character.