Men, what would you have said, or done. Women what do you think, would you have said a thing like that?

[Bricealan]

Went back east for a visit after living here for some time, and took a girl to dinner that I had known for a while in my apartment complex. She and I had talked a lot, during my stay in that complex.

We got to dinner, and she immediately was on her cell, before ordering. Afterward, while talking, she made the comment, "You always thought you were a 'player" when you were there'

I was so pissed off by that kind of comment, that I almost excused myself and left her on her ass at the restaurant. Besides the Cell phone BS and that kind of, what I considered an insulting comment, I was really angry as hell. Never thought of, nor acted like I thought of myself as a 'player" and the thought she would make a comment like that really irked me.

Comments. Guys/Girls?

[MonicaWills]

I understand that you are offended by this comment. We all have our own egos, and it's easy to get offended and angry when others judge us in a demeaning way. However, I recommend that you have an open and honest conversation with her after you have calmed down.

First, express your displeasure and hurt at her comment. Tell her you find the evaluation unfair and offensive, and explain that you never considered yourself a "gamer." Emphasize that what you expect of her is mutual respect and understanding.

Then, ask her why she made that evaluation. Maybe she has some misunderstanding or misunderstood your behavior. By communicating, you can better understand each other's thoughts and feelings.

Most importantly, stay calm and rational. Avoid emotional arguments or accusations, and instead communicate peacefully. This can help you build a better foundation for communication and mutual understanding.

Finally, remember that everyone has different perspectives and opinions. Try to keep an open mind, respect each other's differences, and seek common solutions.

[Bricealan]

@MonicaWills Thank you for your comments. You can imagine how that hit me - and that me thinking I was a "player" that I thought of myself as a "hot' guy. and nothing could have further from the truth. I was a very unassuming guy when I was in my 20's and I took it as basically a slap in he face. Thanks Monica

[Bricealan]

@MonicaWills we still communicate, but It left a bad taste in my mouth.

[_Maya_]

Fuck no. In fact if I thought you were a player I wouldn't have gone to dinner in the first place. I would assume that you had other intentions. The fact that she still went to dinner shows me she was using you for a free dinner or at least trying to. I also don't get on my cell during dinner or at a restaurant. That is just rude and obnoxious as hell. I put mine on silent and in my bag. It doesn't matter if I am on a date or with a friend or family. I don't get on my phone for any reason.

[Bricealan]

@Maya Thanks, glad to hear that a woman ALSO feels the same as I felt.

[_Maya_]

Thank you for most helpful opinion!

[Billlewis]

Was the comment directed at you, or the person she was talking to on the phone?

[Bricealan]

Right to my face.

[Billlewis]

Yeah, that's a hard one to decipher. She could have meant it in any number of ways, but since you were there, you obviously have a better grasp on what she was trying to convey to you than the rest of us.

[Bricealan]

@Billlewis Probably so, Bill, but I never, ever thought of myself that way, and just the fact she would make a comment like that, I took as an insult, indicating that I then, 'saw myself" as something that I was not, nor ever thought of myself being that. Really arrogant, of her, I thought.

[Billlewis]

I can definitely see where you're coming from.

[LazerBean]

If I thought a man was whorish, I would not be associating him more than necessary to be polite.