Why do I feel so ugly and unattractive all the time?

[Anonymous]

I feel like there is nothing good about me and that I look like crap all the time. I wear makeup, diet, try to exercise as much as I can, dress to flatter my body, but I still feel ugly. Other people tell me I'm not, but I get mad and frustrated because I don't see it, don't want people to say I'm pretty, I just don't want to look like me. I think realistically I'm OK, when all dolled up I'm cute-ish, but nothing to look at, but why can't I just be happy with that? I hate my face, flat butt, gross legs, messy hair that never stays where it should, skin, freckles, pimples, wrinkles, ect, and my nose, which looks man-ish. I feel ugly all the time. What's wrong with me?

Or in other words, what makes us feel this way?

Another thing that I guess has gotten to me is that my friend has had guys wanting to sleep with her. Not that I want that kind of attention, but she's always bragging how she's slept with so and so's boy friend, or how awesome her bed buddy was last night. But there's obviously something about her that makes guys want to be with her.

[ThirdPersonViewer]

Imagine you were born in to a world were everyone is a model and you were just average, you'd feel like you aren't pretty but from an outsider from another universe could see you as the one of the most beautiful women they have ever seen. Its all about perspective. Look at people from other countries. They have to worry about where their next meal is coming from or where will they find shelter the next day. The fact you are able to worry about this stuff should make you happy because you only have such little problems. Try to compare your situation to people who have it worse off than you. Instead of worrying about your looks, try to get really good at something that no else is, such as any thing school related or a sport. Passion is much more attractive than anything visual. At least your not ugly but just normal. You feel unattractive because of what your compare yourself too. Instead take yourself for what you are and know that is just something you can't change. The fact that your alive and your DNA was arraigned in an exact order makes you special. Get confidence in yourself. Passion, Intelligence, and Confidence, are the top 3 most attractive things. Just remember that the guy that you should want to attract look for that. You don't want to be with that guy who only likes you for your looks. Best wishes, and good luck on understanding how awesome you really are!

[yaddayaddayadda02]

What is wrong with you is a severe case of low self-esteem. You might want to consider talking to a professional about your issues.

Aside from that, you need to engage in activities that you enjoy and can become passionate about that don't revolve around you studying your looks. give of yourself to other people - volunteer at a charity. Do things to build yourself up.

Lastly, imagine your best friend is staying these same things about herself. What would you say to her? How would you react?

[flirtygirl]

I know exactly how you feel. I have to agree with some of the others who have answered this question. There is too much pressure on people to look a certain way. Media images of women are ridiculous. They are so airbrushed and photoshopped that they aren't even real any more. Celebrities starve themselves and have plastic surgery to look a certain way. People do crazy things to themselves in the name of beauty. I am sure you are being way too hard on yourself. I am self conscious about the huge dark circles under my eyes. To me it's all you see when you look at my face. When I tell other people that, they laugh and tell me I'm crazy. Even the last person I talked to at the makeup counter told me I didn't have an issue and I was being too hard on myself.

Your friend sounds like she's just trying to make you feel jealous. Don't worry about her.

I know it's hard, but try to focus on the good things. Find your best feature and play it up. If you have great eyes, go have a makeup lesson to learn how to make the most of them. As for guys, you just need to find the right one. There are men that think some of the most beautiful women are horrible to look at. You just need to find the ones that like what you have to offer. They are out there, just give them a chance to find you! Until you do, be the best you that you can be.

[Anonymous]

Oh honey. You're in serious need of some self-confidence.

I read the comments and I agree with others - it sounds like your friend is trying to make you jealous. (Also, ask yourself if you would want to be with a guy who only liked you for your cup size).

You sound like a great girl, but the one thing you're missing that will make you "attractive" is self-confidence. I'll be honest here - I didn't have any self-confidence for a long time. It's something you have to work at day by day. I would look in the mirror and pick out parts about myself that I liked until I finally saw how pretty I really was. I'd say "I love you, (name)" and list things I was good at. I made an effort to think about what I was telling myself and to stop any negative thoughts or self-judgements. If I was feeling too scared or self-confident at a party, I'd think to myself, "WWLGD?" - what would Lady Gaga do, and then try to channel her self-confidence.

Love her or hate her, ultimately her message really is about self-love and being self confident. In the end, you should love yourself and own exactly who you are, flaws and all.

[LilRedHead]

I feel that way sometimes to. But I just look in the mirror and notice the features I do like about myself. As cheesy as it sounds, it works. I'm not sure what makes us feel this way, usually it's around my period when I feel it or if I'm stressed. But when I am not around that time I don't feel it. Oh, and new clothes makes me feel good about myself, even if it's something as basic as undies.

As for your friend, that's her choice. The thing about her that guys want to be with her is that she's low commitment and easy. Guys go to her when they want the sex without the dedication. Trust me, guys don't want to show easy girls to their parents and be like, "Tada~ check this girl out." But yeah, we'll see how long those men stay with her or commited to her. My guess, not many of them. But hey, there life there choices.

But I wouldn't concern yourself with that. If it were me, I wouldn't want to be the easy girl that guys slept with. I would want to be the one that he would be proud of showing to his parents. You know what I mean?

[Asker]

I guess I'm just jealous that she's getting actual attention. And here I am; I feel invisible. Or maybe it's her incredibly large chest that gets her the attention. I have no chest what so ever.

[udolipixie]

1. What's wrong with me? You have high standards for yourself that you won't be able to reach.

Estee messed up tons of girls with her "There is no such thing as an ugly woman, just a lazy one."

Some girls are not attractive or will never be as attractive as other girls. Yes they can try but when you strip both of beauty products you'll see whose truly attractive and whose working for it. You're either born pretty or you're not.

2. Or in other words, what makes us feel this way? Not us. You, some girls, and a few girls with serious self esteem issues who need therapy.

3. But there's obviously something about her that makes guys want to be with her. She's attractive or easy. Or both.

You need to only worry about how these guys treat her and if she's sexually safe since you're her friend. Jealousy/envy is pathetic and should not exist in friendships.

[Asker]

Thanks, you really helped :|

[moonlightromance]

because the world pounds into our heads that we need to be really beautiful and the most attractive people we can be to fit in. which is sad because that's not true. beauty just rots away but what about our souls? what will they look like when all the beauty is faded. we fall short to what the world wants us to be so we are so hard on ourselves. magazines show photoshopped fake models that look perfect when in reality they're just like us...they have pimples, freckles, messy hair, flat butts..you just can't see in with all that photoshop. realize that no one is telling you to be beautiful and that you don't need to impress people with the way you LOOK. impress them with your heart and you'll go far

[HidingMyHeart]

Yeah about your friend, she's easy and that probably has nothing to do with her appearance.

I can understand where you are coming from and the truth is that a lot of guys and girls can too. In todays society, there is just so much pressure put on people to look their best all the time it's almost sickening. Flaws and imperfections make us real, and not some fake floozy who will jump into bed with the first guy who says hi to her. You just gotta do things that make you feel pretty and special and realize that there is so much more to you than the flaws you see and those huge flaws are most likely invisible to anyone else :)

-Brittany <3

[Alanaaa]

Haha, I know how you feel. I feel that way a lot of the time too. The thing with your friend? You don't want that kind of attention, I mean honestly I get that kind of attention and it's just as good not get it as it is to get it. It gets annoying an guys just don't stop, you tell them no but they all think they're gonna be that 'special' person to break your moral wall down. Trust is they're not, and it's not gonna happen. No chance. To be honest, with all the products out there .. I don't think any girl can be that ugly. Average at least. If you don't like your body, go to the gym. Even with out surgery, every girl can be at least average. You're not alone, I feel that way too. :)

[BabyxTsode]

We all have our insecurities and things that we hate about ourselves, but just because you can't see how beautiful you are doesn't mean other people can't either so I think you should be delighted when they compliment you :( I understand where u're coming from though. I also went through this and even refused to go to school just because I felt "ugly". Instead of worrying about what you dislike, I think you should emphasize and draw more attention to what you like about yourself. The people around you should ultimately be drawn to your personality.

[Bradm01]

I went through it..still go through it..My Buds were the party type and hook up with girls all the time...I don't like that at all..im a One for One kinda guy...and yea I guess I Felt ugly all the time because of it...but now I don't care, call me ugly, wierd, cute, attractive...but the thing is your Friends future will go know where if she keeps doing what she's doing, and you need to know your Beautiful no matter what some people think. because there's more people in the world searching for people like you. so don't think she's more attractive or something because she hangs out with the wrong crowd..leads to pain, and the more she does it, the farther down in the whole she gos...

Your Perfect just the way you are...Try to smile, your not Alone!

[Pebyron]

1: Post a pic before you ask a question like this

2: Go see a therapist

3: Cut that bitch

[Asker]

I wasn't asking for people to rate me on how I look, I was asking what makes us feel this way? And how can I not feel like this?

[Pebyron]

Does it matter? Go see a therapist.

[Anonymous]

you need to stop worrying about your other appearance and work on your inner appearance. seeing a therapist might not be a bad idea. you have a lot of self esteem issues

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with you. Just low self-esteem. If you do your best to make yourself beautiful, then you're really beautiful.

[PoeticNinja]

How do you know there's nothing wrong? This is such an empty answer.