I finally stood up for myself. Any advice you have for me?

[Anonymous]

My new roommate is a bully. Some of you told me to get the landlord involved or stand up for myself. She seems to have anger issues so I don’t feel safe asking her to stop her behavior. But I just explained in detail what she’s been doing to me. I explained some of my feelings as well. Like I don’t feel safe living with her and I wanna move out because of her. I didn’t think I’d do it but this morning after how she acted I realized she’s probably just a bully and on purpose too. Like she just thinks it’s cool to bully me or people. I’m a very easy target and have been bullied many times. I’m done just being silent.

[_Maya_]

I still say move out or tell your landlord the situation is not livable because of her behavior. Even if she realized it this time she isn't going to change. My experience is that people with serious social issues like bullying are not going to change even if they say they will. She might be able to temporarily but I bet a good amount of money that she will go right back to doing it. It sounds like that is the type of person she is. I would move out or find a different living situation. Good for you for standing up for yourself though!

[bros26]

Maya Maya Maya
After longtime

[Asker]

Thanks! Yeah I only told the landlord company because they asked for details. At first I just asked what the policy on moving out is and mentioned that I want to leave because of how my roommate is.

[_Maya_]

Well no matter what good for you for taking a stand.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[catarecute]

if your housemate is a bully it depends where you live in the world but you could save evidence or witnesses and sue her for harassment. i had a lot of housemates who would bully me because i was messy so i would make the house even more messy just to piss them off. depending on which country you live in there are also things you can do about your landlord. some people i knew stopped paying rent completely to save up for a new place. there are different laws in different countries. Don't take videos without consent. get informed on the law and on how you can also sue the landlord.

[Hulk_kitty]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/f1A4y6JXy_M

watch this video, but I also suggest find a therapist to build to your confidence. You are getting bullied because you are allowing people's behaviour.

[Asker]

I realized today that I’m being bullied because I exist. Bullies will bully. There’s nothing different I could have done to prevent being bullied. She is who she is. Obviously I want to learn to stand up and this is one step. Thanks for the video.

[Hulk_kitty]

I admire your decision to stand up for yourself in the challenging situation with your roommate, who appears to be a bully. To address this issue effectively, consider taking several steps. Firstly, maintain a detailed record of all instances of your roommate's bullying behavior, including dates, times, and descriptions of what occurred. This documentation will be valuable if you need to involve your landlord or authorities in the future. If you're uncomfortable confronting your roommate directly, reach out to your landlord or property management company to explain the situation and provide any evidence you've documented. Landlords are responsible for ensuring a safe living environment for all tenants.

Another approach could involve seeking conflict resolution, perhaps by proposing the involvement of a mediator or counselor to facilitate a conversation between you and your roommate. This might help address the issues and lead to a potential resolution. Ensure you have a support network in place - lean on friends and family members who can provide emotional support during this challenging time. Discuss your feelings and concerns with them; having a support system can be remarkably helpful.

[Hulk_kitty]

Understanding your tenant rights and local housing laws is essential, so familiarize yourself with these regulations. This knowledge can empower you and guide your decisions. If the situation doesn't improve, and your safety remains a concern, contemplate the possibility of finding alternative housing. Your well-being should always be a priority, and sometimes, relocating to a more positive environment is the best solution.

In the meantime, prioritize self-care and stress management. Dealing with a bully can be emotionally draining, so make sure to take care of your mental and physical health. Engaging in activities that help you relax and reduce stress, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with supportive friends, can be beneficial. If the situation is causing significant emotional distress, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and strategies for coping with the stress and trauma associated with being bullied.

Remember that standing up for yourself is a courageous step, and you deserve to live in a safe and respectful environment. Don't hesitate to seek help and support when needed, and prioritize your well-being above all else.

[Hulk_kitty]

This advice from chatgpt, I think the website gives great advice, I use it a lot. I thought I would mention, as I don't cheat others out of most helpful answers.

[Asker]

Thank you :)

[Hulk_kitty]

No worries, I hope it works out for you. I pray things get better for you, I hate bullies, and I hate to see people like yourself get bullied. Keep strong and keep fighting. Don't let her bring you down, you are better than her.

[Asker]

I appreciate you. Those words mean a lot! I hope to move out asap (even though I like the place)! She probably wants me to be miserable so I thought today ‘why let her win and be miserable’. Just got to take action, find a new place to live and wipe my hands.

[Hulk_kitty]

I understand how you feel, I was in the same position a few years ago, I was living with a landlord and his girlfriend, and they were bullying and abusing, I moved out and reported them for domestic abuse.
I would suggest get out asap, for your own mental wellbeing. If your landlord won't get help you, go to the help or someone you can trust, to get you out of that situation.

[Hulk_kitty]

Don't tolerate it anymore, there is some very sick out there. Report it to the police if possible.

[Asker]

That gives me hope I can get out like you did. I’m not sure I have someone to help me. But this really isn’t a livable place anymore so I HAVE to get out.

[Hulk_kitty]

Keep fighting and things and will get better for you. Only you can create hope for yourself.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[Starrrboy]

Yeah, don't take no crap from nobody, understand? defend yourself

[Asker]

I’m trying. I just want to move out now. I know this situation is hopeless and I’m tired of living in fear. Some people want to act like brutes well they don’t need to live with people who have respect for others.

[Starrrboy]

Good luck with it

[Asker]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

Good to know that you finally stood up for yourself...
Move out is the only option you have.

[Asker]

I’m trying. I’m hoping the landlord will let me leave without having to find a replacement to take my place as roommate. Usually that’s the way it works but if they realize I’m leaving due to her behavior then maybe they will let me leave easily and not have to pay a fee or whatever.

[Opinion Owner]

Or you can ask for move out her...
You have proof?

[Asker]

I don’t have any proof. They asked me for texts or whatnot. But she’s smart enough to do her bullying in real time.

[Asker]

If anything they can ask my other roommate cause he may have overheard some of her actions. I don't know if he would vouch but it’s a possibility.

[Opinion Owner]

Make a video of her behaviour sweetheart otherwise no one trust you.

[Asker]

Ok but what do you mean no one trusts me?

[Opinion Owner]

I mean whatever you say without any proof. Why should he trust you?

[Asker]

Okay?

[Opinion Owner]

Collects proof before taking to landlord

[Asker]

I already told them the details. They asked. Did I do wrong?

[Billlewis]

Are you going to move out?

[Asker]

I’m trying! It would be harder if I had to find a replacement for myself so I’m
Hoping the landlord company will understand why I’m leaving and let me just go.

[Anonymous]

Continue to do it, whenever you feel its necessary.

[riverrat3]

Keep yourself safe

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[riverrat3]

Bulls always seem to feel like they have to be up on you, if you get even they feel they owe you

[Asker]

I don’t intend to get revenge. I don’t believe it is right to seek revenge. I simply want to escape from bully

[riverrat3]

Just leave as soon as possible,

[Asker]

Yep. Thanks.