How long does it take to read a vibe?

[Anonymous]

alright so a lot of pick up artists be going up to random females and trying to chat them up, but some of them are autistic and can't read a vibe, and end up talking for 20 minutes even when a female is not interested. how long does it normally take to read a vibe?

MARC ARNELL NADELA

random pick up artists

[Effably]

Normally? As humans we are top tier in a few things. Social cues is one of them. To most humans, reading a social vibe is a matter of parts of a second.

Of course it is also possible to miss it entirely and prattle on. Not rare by any means. Difficulty of comparing normal and abnormal. When we discuss people needing advice from pickup artists we often have to look at abnormal in which case reading a vibe could be anywhere from excellence incarnate to an impossible task.

In general though, any cold approaching rarely works that well and is done more to get over the fear of talking to people and rejection rather than results.
The goal with walking up to someone, saying hi and asking them out for coffee isn't really to get a coffee but to learn that they didn't kill you. The world didn't end. It was a little awkward but that's it. And that tends to be all that pickup artists really teach: Its okay to try. It is also okay to fail. If you keep trying and reflect on what went wrong eventually you get better or lucky.

[Asker]

why would cold approach get you over the fear of talking to people. most cold approach ends up in rejection, and when people reject you, that normally lowers your self esteem and adds to your list of bad experiences. so if you cold approach 10 people, and they dismiss you, why would you approach an 11th? and couldnt you overcome your fear of talking to people by talking to cashiers, mechanics, and janitors that you actually see regularly rather than cold approaching strangers? i actually know a bunch of pua, and for the majority of them, doing cold approaches made them more shy due to the rejection taking a tole on their confidence. there were a few who overcame their shyness, but they ended up sounding like pushy salesmen, or like those christians who try to convert people, which ultimately ended up alienating them

[Effably]

Its similar to sparring in martial arts. After being hit a few times you learn people are not made of glass.

The point is to positively reinforce the attempt even as the attempt fails. If I walk up, talk to someone. We both exchange names and then I am met with a "I am not interested" I may feel rejected, yes. But then I go to you! My coach or something, and you hype me up. You tell me how brave I was. How I can clearly do it, so on. Suddenly failure turns into success.

And that's generally the point of a cold approach. Get used to social interaction and learn not to worry about it. I understand it may sound counter-intuitive but most guys core problem in dating is that they are not actually dating and being social. Majority of lonely men are not trying and are afraid to try. I sympathize, really. But sometimes smacking someone is a good way to solve a fear.

[In_Trance]

About 10 seconds