Why do crushes cause heartbreak?

[Anonymous]

You don't know the person so it doesn't make sense that it hurts.

[Anonymous]

A psychologist could probably give a full and extensive break down. I just know I have a crush right now, and it hurts when he brushes me off or I'm reminded he's generally just unattainable to me. I guess with crushes, we build up a fantasy future with them in our head, and of course we idealize it. When we can't have that person, it feels like it's the world saying that fantasy will never be real, and that hurts when you believe it could've been real of only they loved you back.

But I guess the maybe-comforting-maybe-saddening truth is that the idealized fantasy probably would never have been reality anyway, even if that crush did like you/me back. Everyone has flaws, and invariably that crush turns out to have flaws too. They never live up to the fantasy you make up about them.

So we don't truly lose out on paradise when our crush doesn't love us, the paradise likely never would've existed. Still, it sure feels like we've lost out on paradise anyway. That's deeply painful.

[Asker]

I just wish... I could forget about him.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Simple answer: Because you fell in love with the person. When you love someone enough, and whether it's unrequited or not, you will experience heartbreak. It's a painful feeling but it's needed in order to help you let go of the person and move on. Wish your crush to be happy in life even if it's not with you (I mean this more in a mental sense).

[Asker]

Can I message you?

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Yeah, sure.

[Asker]

I just messaged you

[Asker]

I just messaged you. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Having high expectations is one reason why that happens.