If she’s silent about answering a deep question, what does it mean?

[Anonymous]

So me and ex recently broke up a month ago. She asked me to change a tire. After that, we hung out in her room and caught up. Later, we went door dashing for two hours. She was tired and want to end the night. We were flirting and we had an intense eye contact stare for 30 seconds. She looked away first.

I wanted to ask her if I could stay over, but I think it was the wrong time. Due to us not talking in a month. I did ask her if she missed me laying up with her at night. She pause and didn’t answer. Only said good night and walked in her apartment. With that pause, is that an answer that she does missed laying w me or am I overthinking things?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's a tough one dude. The pause and no answer to your question definitely means something. Sounds like you guys have some history together even if it just ended. When a girl doesn't answer a question like that directly, it usually means she's still kinda into you but doesn't want to fully admit it. Especially after hanging out just the two of you, there was definitely still something there.

I wouldn't blame yourself for not staying over though, that might have been pushing it after not talking for a month. But don't lose hope man, that staredown and her looking away first is a good sign too. Maybe give her some space for now but don't be afraid to shoot her a text in a week or two to see how she's doing. Who knows, once some more time passes she might open up more about what she's really feeling. Just don't come on too strong and make her uncomfortable. You got this!

[Asker]

Yeah, definitely have history. Been together for a year. We didn’t have a bad breakup. She’s set with her values now after being a toxic relationship. She wants to be propose to within a years time. I need more time and want to stay together first. Parents love me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man that's a tough situation. On one hand it's good y'all didn't have a messy breakup and she's working on herself now. But wanting to get engaged so soon when you're not ready is definitely a problem.

A few things - first give her some space for now if she's not answering your questions. She may still have feelings but be confused since you both want different timelines.

Next time you talk, be honest but also understanding of where she's coming from. Let her know you care about her but marriage is a big commitment and you want to take your time to do it right. Hear her side too though, why the timeline is important to her.

Maybe suggest staying friends for now while you both figure stuff out separately. Then see where you both are in a few months. No need to rush into anything that's not right for both of you. Her parents liking you is great but at the end of the day you gotta do what feels right for you too man. Hope it works out!

[Asker]

Yeah, she already said during our breakup she doesn’t want to be friends. She wants love. Every time I bring up I need time, it triggers her. Cause she doesn’t want to be in another 5+ year relationship w/o commitment. I told her that it’s coming and it’s going to be less than that. She doesn’t want to hear that. Even her older son tried to help me out. She’s not budging. In a week of no contract and space.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn dude, this is definitely a tough situation then if she's not willing to even consider being friends while you figure things out. I can understand where she's coming from too, wanting commitment after investing so much time already.

It sounds like for now, the best thing is to really give her space like you said. Even a week of no contact could help provide some clarity and perspective. In the meantime, stay focused on you - your hobbies, goals, spending time with the boys. Try not to dwell on it too much if you can help it.

Who knows, maybe in a few weeks once some of the emotions settle, she'll be open to having a real conversation about both of your needs. Try feeling things out again slowly after some time passes. If not, you did all you could by being honest about needing more time. It'll be hard, but better than dragging it out in uncertainty.

Hang in there man. Things have a way of working themselves out eventually. Just keep your head up and take it one day at a time for now. And hey, if all else fails and she really can't bend, at least you tried your best and will know you're meant to be with someone more flexible. You got this bro!

[Anonymous]

Could be anything. I might've stayed silent in that context because I did miss it and didn't wanna admit it. I also might've stayed silent in that context if I didn't miss it, and I didn't wanna hurt your feelings, or I didn't think you'd react well, whatever. Also, she was tired. Maybe that was about to become a long and/or deep conversation that she just didn't have the energy for. Maybe she was annoyed you asked because she just wants to move on and not have it brought up again. Could've been a million things.

[Asker]

We’ve been together for a year. I wasn’t a bad breakup. She wants me to propose to her within a years time. I need more time financially and I want to stay together first.

[fafylone]

"She didn't said anything then walked in her apartment" I believe you are overthinking things. At she should've given you a glue and answer. I believe you should see what happens next. If you still likes her then tell & she will surely give you a answer then go from there. Either you meant to be together or not, you need a answer.

[In_Trance]

It means nothing