Has that ship sailed, already?

[Anonymous]

I had a really intense friendship with an introverted woman with moderate Asperger’s syndrome, but recently we stopped talking. I think it was over a guy that she liked, that likes me. Anyway, I texted her last night, to invite her to an Asperger’s social group that I’ve joined. She was really chatty, seemed happy to hear from me and confirmed that she’ll see me next month, trying out the activity once. Does it sound like she wants friendship, or to be acquaintances? I have Asperger’s, too, but mildly, so I find more severe people harder to read.

Updates

+1 y

We were best friends, not partners.

[Oliverlogan263]

It's hard to say for sure since people on the spectrum can be tricky to read, but it does sound promising that she responded positively to your text and agreed to try the social activity with you.

A few thoughts from my perspective:

- The fact she was chatty indicates she wasn't brushing you off in a cold way. Cordial is better than icy!

- Checking out the group with you next month shows willing to connect in person again.

- Past issues like the guy situation may still linger subconsciously on her end though.

I'd say give it a chance at the meetup - see how the in-person interaction goes. Focus on listening to her and making her comfortable. Friendship could potentially be rekindling, but don't force it and let her set the pace.

Seeing you both in a supportive autism setting may help open communication again naturally. Just be patient and see what happens. Hope this gives you some optimism without promises!

[Jennz6]

@_Maya_ ?

[Summeroflove]

I hope that she would want to be friends. But give it some time. Friendships like romantic relationships should be taken slow. You don’t want to allow just anyone into your personal circle.

[Asker]

Nina and I don’t have much in common, except Asperger’s and having had the same friends, previously.

[Asker]

The kicker is, I don’t even know whether or not I want her friendship back.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah. Just meet her again and talk to her. Time will tell if you become friends again… or not

[Asker]

Good advice. Thank you 😊

[Summeroflove]

You’re welcome

[BoopBoopBeep]

Hard to say this early. See how the meeting goes.

[Jennz6]

It’s hard to say because it depends