Girl has a boyfriend but seems very into me and I don't know what to do?

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind that we are both young so if this seems a bit childish it's because we're both early early 20s. Sorry

So there is a girl I work with and she seemed into me for months. She imitates a lot of my body language, she drunk texts me all the time, she asked our boss to put us on shifts together more often, she play hits me all the time, she talks about music all the time and will send me songs because we have the same taste, she looks at my location on snapchat, plus a ton of other shit. Once after work we got off at the same time and she pulled her car up to mine and we sat in the parking lot and talked for two and a half hours

Anyway despite all this, she has a boyfriend of about 6 months (though they were talking for 11 months) who started working with us a little while ago and I have no idea how to handle it. I didn't even know he existed until his first day. The boyfriend obviously sees me as a threat as he started imitating a lot of how I talk, he started wearing a watch and a chain like me, he's even started showing up to shifts when she's working with me to bring her stuff and stand around. What boggles my mind is that even when the 3 of us work together she'll talk to me as much as him and when she talks to him it's awkward and they don't really talk about much. I had several coworkers tell me that the two of them don't seem into each other which I normally brush off.

She even complains about guys that are too nice, guys that have long nails, etc... all stuff that applies to him

I don't really play into most of what she says or does though admittedly not all the time. She's asked me before to bring her food or a drink and I have refused every time and told her that it's incredibly inappropriate for her to ask that of me

Obviously this girl is no good. I'm not stupid but how do I handle this? Do I tell the boyfriend everything I know? Do I confront her about her behavior? Or maybe I'm just reading too far into everything and this is normal

Updates

+1 y

I forgot to add that she has opened up a great deal about her depression and insecurities. More so than what would seem normal

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, this whole situation sounds messy as hell. I feel for you, it can't be easy being caught in the middle like that. Here's what I'd do:

First off, take a step back from this girl. Her behavior toward you is super disrespectful to her boyfriend, and that poor guy doesn't deserve to be played.

I wouldn't confront her directly - she'll just deny and gaslight probably. But don't give her any more of your attention or time either. Be friendly at work if you have to interact, but keep it surface level only.

Her boyfriend seems like an okay dude too - don't wanna get on his bad side. If he asks you straight up about what's up, be honest but calm. Say you're trying to keep your distance for everyone's sake.

Overall just do your thing, keep your head high, and let them sort their own drama out. You don't need that toxicity in your life, you feel me? Stay focused on your goals and the real ones who uplift you every day.

This too shall pass bro. Trust that when it's real, you'll know for sure. Keep it pushing - you got way better days ahead!

[Lliam]

A boyfriend is a boyfriend, not a husband. And she and that guy have only been together for a short time.

All of my girlfriends had had previous boyfriends before we met. Some of them were still with the boyfriends when they hit on me and became my girlfriend.
I had girlfriends a couple times when I decided to break up for a new girlfriend.

A boyfriend/girlfriend is an experiment to see how well they get along. But there is nothing that says they can't decided to move on. That's what people do, especially when they are young and still searching for a match. If you decide that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone, it's okay to keep searching. That doesn't make you inherently disloyal. You don't have to stay with a boyfriend/girlfriend just because you got together with them.

So if you find this girl attractive and you to have a lot in common, why not let her decide who she wants to be with? It doesn't sound like she is too into the guy.

The only awkward thing is, her current boyfriend works there. But I'd say "So what?" Again, it's her choice.

You might miss out on a great opportunity if you pass it up. She might be perfect for you.

By the way, I'm a great believer in monogamy and loyalty. I always preferred exclusive relationships. But at that age, I wasn't ready to settle down.

[MadinaHasABensheer]

You read her behaviour correctly, don’t fall for her. If she’s doing that to you while having a boyfriend and keeping it a secret before he even joined you guys. Imagine what she’ll do when you start dating her. She’s a trouble. Firstly, tell her to back off. If you’re not interested, let her know. Second, if her boyfriend sees you as a threat, it’s more likely that he’ll believe whatever his girlfriend says unless there’s proof of infidelity. Third, say you are attracted to her, go ahead and do whatever you want.

[DishLady]

Don't do anything. Just because she's willing to cheat on her man doesn't mean that you should indulge or enable her. There are SO MANY OTHER women out there for you, young anon...

[Alex-Snow]

Let their relationship run its course. Is she sexually involved with the boyfriend?

[Asker]

I imagine so but she made a comment about how she sleeps on the couch most nights (they moved in after 2 months of dating I believe) but I don't really ask about their relationship. Although I made a joke about eating ass and she said "Oh damn, most guys dont do that" and then asked what other shit I'm into (though I told her that wasn't an appropriate question) lmao so I guess it isn't all that spicy

[Alex-Snow]

Sleeping on the couch is not conducive to a good and active sex life don't you think?

[Asker]

I mean it don't sound like it but I'm 21 and you're 19 what do we know lol. If MY girl was sleeping on the couch I would 100% but hurt by it. She said she just prefers her couch sometimes

[Alex-Snow]

True... hopefully he is not jerking off sleeping on the couch when she is in a bed nearby!