I need help has anyone gone through something similar?

[Scrubman14]

To start off, I've been friends with this girl for about 9 plus years. We used to in each others company very often and it was truest happiness I could ever feel around her. We both worked the same job in a restaurant, I was a dishwasher and she was a bartender. We would have lots of fun around each other even being super flirtatious in a playful way. We've been through real rough times and we always lift each other up (mostly her crying on my shoulders and wanting hugs but I reluctantly accept the hugs because I would feel terrible if I didn't Lmao). As of today or dated if your reading this months after post, 6/26/2024. I left the job when I started to get a career I've always wanted, to be in the military. When I told her that I'm joining the military, she got distant with me, but slowly day by day and I noticed it right away. I've kept telling her if she's ok with me leaving, she would always say. "Do what's best for you I'm happy that you're getting a better career", every time I ask her and I've been worried ever since. I've tried to make sure if she is really ok with it but I never got a real answer. Now I'm panicking!!! It's funny because, I used to the level headed and helping her in need and she would always come to me to talk about her problems and I listen for hours without a word from me. She hates talking about her problems and she's sorry every time she does (I find it cute). Now there's none barely any texts from her. For the first time, I feel helpless and I'm bawling my eyes out like a newborn. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her...

[DishLady]

Not every girl is able to handle being with a guy in uniform. It's a tough life you've chosen and it requires friends and partners who fully understand and embrace that life. Many people don't for a variety of reasons.

Obviously you're in love with this young lady... and she probably loves you also but is afraid of losing you to the trials and tribulations of military life. You have to understand that. Even if you get together, you'll be away from her for months on end -- perhaps years on end -- which is hard to handle.

While I haven't been in the military myself, I did turn down a fellow who I knew was military-bound and wanted to start something with me. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep sending him out the door with prayers and blessings while the horrible thought of some stranger showing up at my door one day with bad news about the guy's death would be constantly cycling through my mind. It's not something that every woman is capable of handling.

So... figure yourself out... go talk to the girl and tell her you love her... see if she's capable of handling this new road by your side, such as it is. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you're in a tough situation and feeling a mix of emotions about your friend's distance and your upcoming military service. Here are some thoughts that might help:

Communication is key. Have an open and honest conversation with your friend about how you're feeling. Let her know that you value her friendship and are worried about the change in communication. Try to understand her perspective on your joining the military and her own anxieties.

Respect her boundaries. If she's not ready to talk about her feelings, give her some space. You can let her know you're there for her when she is ready.

Focus on the positive. You've mentioned your strong bond and how you've been there for each other. A true friendship can withstand distance and change.

[Iron_Man]

You knew her when you were 15 years old? You’ve already signed up you should have talked to her about this before if you get married, you probably can take her with you but now since you join the military that’s gonna take you a long time to get established. You’ll just have to call her on the phone and text her for several years and you can see her on your military leave

[Anonymous]

Communicate. It is not hard.