Girls’ why do most of you have low self esteem about yourselves?

[Finchie40]

Why do you feel you aren’t good enough, or nobody will love you? Why do you think that way? Us men were designed to see your beauty , no matter what , that’s pretty much how our brains operate. So the only person that doesn’t think they are beautiful? Is you. Stop having
Low self esteem about yourselves , We are all beautiful people And you are beautiful. Rock who you are. We are all people
, we all eat and shit and sleep pretty much the same. Love yourself

[Crimsyjo]

I'm well insecure. Do I want to be? No. There's a few reasons. Most of them to do with upbringing and experience.

I moved location when I was 7. New school. Prescribed to wear glasses. Bullied terribly. That stole the confidence I had had up to that point in my old school.

Wearing glasses. Back 30 odd years ago. Associations were if u wore glasses you were ugly. Tv and media perpetuated this. Superman wears glasses to appear less appealing from the "handsome" superman. Sandy in Greece? When transformed to beautiful she no longer wears glasses.

In my wild teens I'd feel sexy and confident (when drunk lol) then see myself in mirror and it would all go.

I met and later married my husband at 19. He was bald and 31. He had big insecurities too. And would say "we only together cos nobody else will have us". He was talking about himself but he put that on me and didn't make me feel special. He also made fun of my belly and i was a skinny size 8 or 10. But I thought I was fat.

Before we broke up I started wearing contact lenses and dressing sexier. Thanks to a man online making me feel worthy. Not my husband.

I won't go on... but I still struggle to believe guys look at me and are attracted. To me. Not just idea of sex with me. I know how to be sexy. But will someone still love me without my make up on? In the nude? When I wake in the morning? Will someone see my heart inside?

And of course all the hundreds of younger prettier girls or girls blesses with slimmer tummies or more beautiful faces. I'm so so far from perfect. But alit of guys have been helping me see from the lens of a guy and have more confidence that you don't care as much about a squidgy belly or bumpy skin (cellulite lol) and other imperfections. Still sounds gross written down 😄 but basically... maybe... guys are grounded in reality? Mostly?

[Finchie40]

Some Guys’ have it as well , I know I do at times , when I see a picture of myself that someone else took of me , I am like ewww , why would you take that picture of me , Delete that shit lol we sometimes become our own worst enemies. When a girl tells me I am handsome or attractive , I immediately think she is just being nice , I can’t speak for every guy , but a lot of us guys’ don’t get compliments like a girl does. So it’s nice to hear a compliment from a girl., especially if we are attracted to her , that’s even better , but even if we aren’t attracted to her , it’s still nice to hear those words from the opposite sex. Some people get compliments all the time and they are so used to receiving those compliments to the point , it doesn’t really matter to them lol they just know they are attractive. When my ex would compliment me and tell me I was very attractive or very handsome , I loved hearing her say that because she barely ever said it to me , I would tell her she was beautiful everyday to the point she started to not believe me and get upset about it. I would think damn I wish someone called me beautiful every day , cuz I know I was being honest about it. I don’t just say those words for the hell of it , and I always wondered why she didn’t like my compliments , I realized she had low self esteem about herself always thinking she wasn’t attractive and thinking she was ugly , I would laugh and say , if you were ugly? You wouldn’t have had any relationships with guys’ period because us guys’ are very visual when we see a beautiful girl.

[Crimsyjo]

Aww yh I get what you are saying.
For a guy tho the thought is "does she think I'm attractive or just being nice"
For a girl it's "does he think I'm beautiful or is it just about sex"

Think about that for a second. Someone being nice because they are nice may not be as good a compliment but it's still nice and harmless.
Being told your beautiful but ONLY so they can use you for sex is much more mentally harming. So girls are more wary.
And maybe we overthink this because maybe most guys wouldn't say your beautiful and want sex with you if they didn't find you attractive? But it's just impossible to tell for us which is a compliment and which is a manipulation.

However yes in a relationship we should be less insecure. I think most of us are less insecure then. Because why should it matter what anyone else thinks if you got a loving partner? As long as he doesn't get lazy about telling/showing it.

I guess in your case saying it too much can also dampen the magic. Especially if you say it regardless of if a girl put effort in or not. On the surface that sounds great! Oh wow my partner thinks I look amazing all the time. But really... we wanna feel good when we have made effort. So dressed up or new clothes or whatever. That's when a "dayum girl u look amazing!" Is gonna hit the self esteem spot more than if you say it when walking around feeling crap wearing a baggy T and joggers.

So say it to different levels based on occasion. Too much of anything always loses its power!

[Finchie40]

That’s another thing I do as well, when she dresses up and looks good , I will tell her Damn you look sexy AF or Damn you look gorgeous. Let’s go to the bedroom lol I like to be honest with people , if she looked like shit , I would tell her she looks like shit , but it doesn’t mean I don’t find her beautiful. I would want her to be honest with me if I looked like shit as well lol

[Crimsyjo]

Haha well hopefully u would say it with more tact. But yh. If you doing all that then the issue is the gal your with not you, as you noticed.
Have love, time and understanding is one thing but there comes a point on most relationships (romantic or otherwise) where is someone doesn't take responsibility for their own thoughts and behaviour you just have to move on.

[Anonymous]

Because social media, TV, magazines etc says we have to look a certain way and if we don't then we're not good enough.

I just went through a breakup and thought I would never find another guy who would like me for how I look naturally but I just started doing online dating and so far that's been further from the truth so you are right.

[Finchie40]

You have to look away from social media , social media is garbage, you are allowing some internet technology to make you thin you aren’t beautiful , Stop doing that? Social media means absolute shit , tv means absolute shit , Love who you are as a person and someone will love you back the same

[Anonymous]

They don't. They just love to be fussed over. There was an actual brain study that was done to determine what word women liked to hear the most. And women's brains would light up like a Christmas tree whenever they heard someone say their name. If that doesn't give you a clue about how narcissistic women are I don't know what will.😆

[jahaims]

Social programming so they buy more products. Corporations indoctrinate them from a young age. It starts with Disney princess, barbies, celebrities etc.

[Nikki1989]

You know, most women?

I don't know ANY women like how you described.

[Nikki1989]

The 45-year-old anonymous troll is absolutely hilarious.

[BanBan_]

I think that the question carries a massive personal bias over women.

[Abbycado]

I don’t lmao XD

[Finchie40]

That’s hot

[chrissykerdock]

there's so much we're judged by

[Finchie40]

Who is judging you beautiful? Who is judging you so I can knock them out?