My girlfriend doesn't want to clean the house. How do I get her to clean the house?

[Anonymous]

She says she doesn't want to clean the house cause she's equal/not my slave. She wants to share the work. No sex if I don't help her clean the house! That's ridiculous. Women are supposed to clean the house. Doesn't she respect me or why does she expect me to help her clean the house? My mom always cleaned up after my dad and she never complained. What did I do wrong? How do I get her to clean the house? It's not easy. She's a tough cookie.

Updates

+1 y

I feel like I'm a failure cause she doesn't want to clean up after me. I won't help her clean the house. It is too humiliating. My dad says I need to make sure women know who's boss/put them in their place if they don't behave. I'm pretty horny right now and she won't give me sex. It pisses me off.

[misssouthernbelle]

This is exactly the kind of s**t you find out before getting into a serious relationship and living together. Your two versions of men and women and their roles differ...which is causing tension in your relationship.

She feels like you're using her as a slave - especially if you're super messy - and now, she has gone on a manipulative defense to withhold sex from you until you help her. She sounds really mature...sense the sarcasm?

Personally, I agree with you. I'm religious and from a biblical standpoint, men are the providers, protectors, and laborers. Women are the caretakers and relational ones. Plus, I wouldn't have a man cleaning my house...I like it done thoroughly and precisely, which can only be insured by my doing it. I take pride in my house looking clean. She obviously doesn't share these views, or your views of it being a woman's job.

I suggest you talk to her, without making it all about her. I disagree that you should "put a woman in line" as your dad was saying. Either a woman will be a woman that prides herself on cleaning for herself and her man, or she's not, and she's going to expect you to meet her halfway. Talk with her about your views and how you were brought up, then listen to her side of things, and reach a compromise. If you two can't agree on something as frivolous as housework right now...try to imagine how bigger issues are going to separate you two in the future. She's not going to change, just like you're not, unless you two make a compromise out of love. However, compromises only work if the two involved BOTH hold up their end of the deal. If you guys can't reach a compromise, I think you should really rethink your relationship. She's probably going to try to manipulate you by withholding sex again...which is a form of emotional abuse. Is this really the kind of relationship you want?

I would really rethink what you want in a relationship and what your girlfriend is willing to give. It doesn't seem that they match up.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

You don't deserve sex.

What makes you think you get to live in that house, dirty up those dishes, leave your sh*t all over the place, fill the garbage up, dirty up the bathroom -

And not have to clean sh*t up?

Grow up dude.

Your girlfriend is not your f***ing maid. Neither is your mom, or any other woman figure, unless you specifically hire a maid lol

Your a grown ass man, you can pick up after yourself. It's not that got damn hard.

The only reason your girlfriend should be cleaning up the house mainly on her own, is if she's a stay at home girl. Then that's pretty much her job lol.

But if she's working like your working, paying the bills and all that - then you honestly can't complain. She's helping you pay those bills, you should be helping her clean the house.

There's nothing wrong with a guy cleaning up - it shows that your responsible and know how to take care of your home.

Your father was wrong in his thinking - it's honestly no one's " job" to do anything in a relationship.

So quit complaining about a few damn chores - if you don't clean up after yourself, your just disgusting.

[toulouse]

what if that's how he chose to 'lead' . he feels empowered now and ouch you are hurting his ego- he might walk out. Should not she have to make sacrifices if she wants to keep him. she doesn't ned to be respected. remember? wh cares if she feels like a slave. that's what a slave is.-a person without respect. Why are you pretending to care now.

@ it's honestly no one's " job" to do anything in a relationship.

lies. mans job to lead. womans job to make him feel like a man-which is his definition

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

First of all, that was a very poor argument to try and argue - because you don't understand the concept to begin with.

And it really isn't - these " jobs" are more of roles that are typically taken on by the male and female naturally to make a functioning relationship.

No one is a slave to anyone. You obviously must be for equality, this situation isn't very equal if one person is having more responsibility placed on them. It disrupts the power balance.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Quit thinking like a feminist, and actually put some logic behind your answers. It's not heartless towards women, to let men assume that positon - and that position of power, is not literal in a sense that the man barks orders and the woman must follow - not at all. It's more of a subtle placement of power that stimulates the male's need to have some authority.

In this case, this male has derived masculinity from being raised that women should always clean / cater to the guy -

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

That would be fine if his girlfriend was okay with it - because now there is tension in their powers. Since she doesn't agree obviously, this is when an adjustment needs to be made to re balance the powers, in this case, reaching a mutual agreement about housework.

Why is it fair that the woman must be forced to give up her power in order just to please him? That's not fair to the balance, and will only cause more stress on the relationship.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

It's a lot deeper than just oh the guy dominates over the girl is the leader - that's such a literal sense that simple minded people inquire. And feminist who are pretty much illogical for the most part.

Please try to understand something fully before creating a counter argument.

[jadejess]

The problem here is not that she isn't cleaning the house. The problem is that the two of you have different ideas about what a relationship is. She believes in equality between partners and you believe in a more paternalistic household where the male is in control. If one of you doesn't change your idea about relationships, then your relationship is doomed for failure. You don't have to control the house like your father did but I understand why you may think you have to because that's how you learned about relationships. Perhaps you should try helping her clean the house (at least clean up after yourself to be fair). If that doesn't work for you, then as I said the relationship is doomed for failure and you may as well just give it up now and find a woman who is willing to be controlled by you.

[islands7]

Dad's seem to be wrong about most things these days

Survey says, the #1 things a guy can do to rev up his wife's sex engine is... flowers! WRONG - it's housecleaning - marriage is a 2 person income team these days to afford nice things/lifestyles so this makes all things at home team events = 1/2 the time to completion, so more time to "play"

Say, OK Dad, then keep your lifestyle & sex to yourself.

[internet_user]

She is just asking for some help. I am sure she does everything else like cooking. She is a different type of girl so she expects you to help her, that is it.

How about just giving it a try and see what happens ? Maybe that is the only help she wants from you.

[Anonymous]

What is it with men lol.

Really man? She's your wife. You expect her to be there for you and provide certain things is it so hard for you to help her clean?Wouldn't you want to make it easier and faster so she wouldn't have to go through that alone? Who the hell wants to clean a whole house by themselves and keep it neat all the time.

Your parents relationship is different. You can't expect yours to be like theirs. And just because a woman doesn't complain..doesn't mean she doesn't have issues to do it.

If you want a clean house, help her out or get a maid.

It's not unreasonable...it's not like she told you to clean the whole house yourself.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to be like your dad...you can be like , hey this is my girlfriend I love her and I don't want to put her through anymore stress than I have to. Women are not objects they have feelings as well as men. You think its humiliating? well what about her? she doesn't want to be viewed as a slave or back in the old days where women had few to little rights. get off your high horse and help. A real man knows to value his woman =P and treat her well and with respect.

Dude if you keep going you're ganna get blue balls because of your "pride"

[internet_user]

What are blue balls ?

[Opinion Owner]

lol. well obviously you have had the pleasure of not going through it. haha.

It's when a guy hasn't been able to have any sex or the pleasure of releasing himself and his sh*t turning against him.

[NonchalantBro]

link

[dIO_oIb]

Look at the palm of your hand, now flip it over... You see that? It's called the back of your hand.. Introduce it to her.

[toulouse]

@" the obvious escapes many." right- you mean like you being a nazi?

[dIO_oIb]

How am I a nazi?

[ROBERTKUSH]

Is she your mom? Or girlfriend. if u pay the bills and pay for her she should not have to be asked to clean the house or apartment. if she's overweight and out of shape take that in consideration to. your dad is just like mine but he is wrong bro. treat her good with respect not like a cleaning slave. the whole sex cleaning is to weird. if u pay she should clean in the end... in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Offer her chocolate as a reward if she does what you want. She's your dog, train her. Clean girl, clean.

[internet_user]

o_O

[Asker]

Sounds hot. Should I buy a dog leash with her name written on it?

[Anonymous]

smack her in the face with your d*** that will put her in line.

[internet_user]

ha :-()

[Opinion Owner]

either that or you're gonna be single after lol

[Asker]

she's submissive in bed. I did that many times before. why isn't she submissive in 'normal' life? it pisses me off..

[toulouse]

go f*** a doll.

[sweet_18]

Stop being a f***in a**hole and help her clean the house. It's not gonna kill you. Jesus f***ing christ

[7gnat]

this is one of the better troll questions I have seen in a bit

[selfishstars]

Does she work outside the home?

[knotme]

You should help clean up the mess

[ManHater]

You must be Muslim or an ARAB.