Unable to feel happy because of my past, please help?

[Anonymous]

During my childhood I was raped, abused by my teachers (they used to hit me), my parents hates me (they still do), my cousins did did horrible things to me n the list goes on. Random thoughts would come to me especially in the night about something that makes me feel sour, one time in school we had a group assigned n it was on a big piece of cardboard n there was 4 columns and the 3 persons did theirs so I was the last so I took it home and was working on it all afternoon, n then when I brought it back I saw the team leader had a whole new one 2 days after and my shitty work wasn’t there so that’s how I knew. I felt like shit and I couldn’t wait to finish school because how bad I was doing and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t concentrate or do well in school and I really sucked and I always said to myself to not waste my parents hard earned money anymore or don’t even think to go college because how dunced I am. It’s so hard existing everyday and not being smart and everyone can tell that. When I did my driving school too even the instructor told me “you’re not very smart right” and I said yea I’m not, I never got my license, when I started working everyone was fed up of me and my boss even asked me if I understand English language, I walked in on others saying how annoying I am. Because how stupid I am I’m working a very draining job n constantly being pushed around having to do other people’s work n suffering everyday. 2024 January I thought I would have a new better job, met a guy, got married, n just having what people have. It’s the end of this year and I am still where I was for the past couple of years, I feel like I don’t have any future and I have to live miserable everyday while I see others getting married with big jobs, getting degrees, buying their own homes, going on vacation, having babies, while I’m here alone just strolling through my phone with the little time that I have when I’m not working. If anyone reads this, thank you for your time.

[MemeSupreme]

i read all of it and i hear you.

growing up poor and having a very rough childhood i have literally always felt like im a THOUSAND steps behind everyone else. and my progress to getting to where others are at is slow as shit. it's frustrating, defeating, exhausting, hurts, and is lonely as hell feeling. growing up i literally thought i'd either be dead or homeless by now

however my life has improved A LOT compared to when it was like utter shit groiwng up. feel like i took so many steps backwards and then going forward again in a loop to get here, but that's kinda what progress is wheres its not like a straight line. it's just a lot of small wins that help you over time and it's never too late to start even tho it always feel like it is lol

[Pupweb]

You’ve got to let it go. The past is the past, but you don’t have to let it define your future, and I’m so sorry that happened to you, but every day is an opportunity to learn something new—a skill or a perspective. Take that chance to better yourself and remember, if you’re doing the best you can, that’s enough. Don’t compare yourself to others. Be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time. Good luck!

[Lynx122]

You have to believe that you deserve kindness and love. Even if bad things happened to you in the past it doesn't mean that this is what you deserve and this is just your life. You have to love yourself and believe that you can have a better life. There's a light inside us and you need to protect it you can't let other people destroy it or put it out. If you give up on that then it will be easier for other people to treat you badly. I hope you find people who are kind to you in the future :)

[Lynx122]

thanks for mho :)

[ChicoFromThe305]

You can keep torturing yourself about your past and on top of it all you still compare your own life with others peoples and compare your successes to other people's, that's no way to properly live, it will always lead to crap and you'll never be satisfied, focus on yourself and with time and the proper motivation and decisions you can accomplish anything you want, put that time on making those decisions instead of thinking about what others have, cheer up, and stay positive. 💯

[MK1997]

I understand. My life is crap too but we got to live and improve somehow.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. I think you could go to college if you really applied yourself.

[Anonymous]

If you ever want to talk feel free to message me. I just "Liked" the question so you know who I am.

[slatyb]

Can you get professional counseling?