How do I overcome this feeling about my past? Feeling stuck in life at 25 quarter life crisis?

[Paulalove98]

My 25th birthday is approaching next month in October. Im so nervous and scared to be 25. Some people say it’s just another year, another day, no biggie. Sure they can feel that way but it doesn’t mean everyone does. I feel like things have looked up for me at 24 , im not trying to sound ungrateful because I met my fiancé in May crazy enough around the same time I landed a second job in a career field I actually like and plan to move up. Im getting my car fixed soon, all my favorite holidays are coming, I should be completely happy right? Im trying my hardest but I have nostalgic depression if that makes sense. I feel very distraught over my past because I have a lot of lost time and teenage years especially and my childhood I was bullied a lot and I didn’t experience really anything. My fiancé is 18, he does make me feel younger and people mistake me for being 21-22 all the time and don’t see any difference in public, I just feel so depressed when I see teenagers like couples in school going to homecoming, hoco, prom, it could be anything that triggers me, it could even be hearing about someone going camping and I’ve never been camping before it can be hearing about someone who’s younger than me and has traveled to Disney world or had a sweet 16. I’m not bitter or jealous of people, I’m just very very sad. I told myself I’d never turn into a Karen like some people in this generation and I never will I just get super emotional and break down whenever these triggers hit. My fiancé is honestly the best and so is my two best friends. I just wish I can shake this feeling off. I also am an after school teacher and whenever I see kids having all these memories it’s a bittersweet feeling and moment wishing I can be a kid all over again. Sure being an adult is cool with freedom but I wish I wasn’t turning 25.

Updates

+1 y

*I’ve had this type of depression and stress before I met my fiancé.

[lightbulb27]

the issue is letting go of regrets?

it's not easy sometimes because memories are there and don't go away. when we think, they pop up and re-ruminate. It may be constant work to refocus on the present and what you have and can have, your goals and desires, so yo aren't wasting your itme. the "adversary" to us, that's their job... waste the finite time you have.

I have this issue at times as well, what strikes the match is hard to say. I suspect some of this is personality... I don't like to let go of things, I seem quite sensitive and creative. Anything that happens emotional, tends to stick with me for a while. So, life is about learning to manage oneself. It's easy to spend time thinking about what you don't have or didn't have.

I didn't go to prom either, didn't date anyone til 20's and was minimal at that, etc.. I lost a lot of time and I lost a lot of money too. But then again, I didn't suffer in misery like some of my hs colleagues whom married their sweethearts to only divorce. I'm not an enslaved sex slave like some people (talk to any GAGers lately?), and I wasn't slowly suffocated and burned to ashes on 9/11 like many other people, and I'm not laying in a hospital dying or missing body parts. Good news is I am married, helping raise step teens, and living life. There's so much more I think I could do and I could complain about that. So I need to do work myself. Thus... you aren't the only one and frankly, I think life changes every 10yrs no matter what, so get used to this...

There's many tools you can use to regain control of your mind so it's thinking positively.

Practice being present, gratitude and thankfulness. Meditation. Put into perspective the past and find the value you gained from your life even if it's lessons learned. Then, it wasn't a waste and can be used for the future. Finding root causes of your past and lessons learned and resolving them helps put them behind you.

The last option is have your boyfriend whack you in the head really hard, probably in the frontal area.

[AmeerX]

Don't be afraid to grow up. And what you are falling in is an escapist tendency. Many people are just children in a grown body. Why! Because they don't know how to handle a responsibility or they don't want to handle things. People dream of having money or getting rich but they don't forget something in the process. They also need to know how to spend that money. Be empathetic and not be money wasters.

Sorry to say this to you. You are 25 and your fiance is 18. Even he will expect you to be the wiser one. One of you needs to grow up and lead the relationship.

And stop feeling old 🤣, you will grow faster if you think about it and stress all the time. Heck, I still love Michele Pieffer. She is over 75+ I think and still so beautiful. It's not because of her looks only. It's just how she is.

It is alright to miss something but it's not right to wish something just to avoid the unknown. Happiness will reach you whether you are 2 or 20 or 80 years old :)

[BLP11520]

You should look at the positive things and people in the now. Living in the past doesn’t work maybe listening to music it does. Your fella loves you? Decent friends? Maybe you need to laugh? Self introspection can be harmful. Are you healthy? If I remember correctly you are nice looking. Count your blessings and you will feel better.

[Andres77]

I think you put way too much emphasis on age. Attitude is more important.
I still feel like I’m 16 but I’ve got a lot more bills to pay.

[boggboss]

Maybe try therapy seems like u got some deep rooted issues

[fuddly]

Having read question again... i think maybe your childhood you saw stuff that makes you think life is difficult

And based on your past experiences you are afraid of responsibility

(Sorry for adding here.. Can't find my original comment)

[boggboss]

👍🏽

[Paulalove98]

@fuddly I am working two jobs and I help my family out too financially and I am able to juggle my jobs with no issue. I just yearn the feeling of when life was easy being a kid and this is a big challenge emotionally and my heart feels heavy and sad I guess but I definitely understand how you have to be responsible as an adult and pay bills because I do that.