Should I (33M virgin) date this single mother?

[Anonymous]

I hate to say this, but she’s the first woman who’s ever been into me like that. She’s my age and doesn’t want more kids. I will admit she and her two boys are wonderful people but I really want my own biological family. Kind of feels like I’m a second option in a way

During a strange line of circumstances, my own mother met this woman and her kids and she said that I’m an idiot for not going with her. My mother said she’s a wonderful person and a great mother. I told her up front I want my own family. Am I wrong here?

[Anonymous]

If you want your own kids the. I say no. There’s a lot of responsibility that comes w dating a single mother. A lot. That’s not to say that there’s not a lot of responsibility from having a family of your own. I just think you have to deal w things you really don’t have to deal w when the kids are your own. For one, an ex. Especially if the ex is some lunatic. Two, she might not let you discipline them the way you want to. But she will expect you to put your life on the line not only for her but her children as well. She will most likely say she’s not looking for a father for her kids, but you’ll be expected to act like one. Me song feeding them, clothing them, picking them up, maybe even staying home w them if they’re sick. Unless she plans on co tributing half of all the bills, which most women don’t like. Yes you’ll be an instant “dad” w all those responsibilities. I dated a girl for two years. Son wasn’t the best. Did nothing but played games, wouldn’t clean up after his dog. Yard was a giant open outhouse for the dog. So when o tried to hold him accountable to do those things as well as take out the trash, he got mad. He told his mom. Mom did t like it. We broke up. A few years later she ended up in an argument about his behavior and helping out. He chose himself over helping the family, moved in w his dad. Now she’s single still. Dad turns out was worse than what he thought I was. He made his son pay half the utilities as well as half the rent.
The other thing about dating is going out. Having fun. You can’t have much fun w two kids around if you’re having to find a babysitter. I take it since you’re still a virgin you haven’t had that much experience as far as going on dates, having fun, being “kids,” falling in love, that first kiss out on a date, first time holding hands. It’s a wonderful experience. I’m not saying don’t do it. I’m just telling you you have a lot on your plate w an instant family. Plus what if the kids don’t like you. Such as w what happened w me. One of the kids accuses you of something. Mom will most likely take his side. What happens if she’s no longer happens you? Women tend to put their happiness first. So not only do you lose her you lose those kids to which you might have a good relationship w. Legally you have no right to them.
What about religion? Are you two of the same faith? Maybe she believes in God and you don’t. That’ll create some problems as well.
Now the question I ask you is why’s the you still a virgin? Never had a girlfriend? If so why?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's a tough situation, bro. I get why you're feeling conflicted about this. On one hand, this woman seems like a great catch - your mom even says she's awesome. And she's into you, which is cool since you haven't had much luck dating before.

But on the other hand, I can understand your hesitation about getting serious with a single mom. If having your own biological family is a big priority for you, then that's totally valid. You shouldn't feel forced to settle for something that doesn't fully align with your goals.

My advice would be to be upfront with this woman about where you're at. Don't lead her on if you know long-term you won't be able to give her what she wants. But also don't completely write her off if you genuinely like her and her kids.

Maybe see if you can start off slow, just casually dating and getting to know each other better. That way you can figure out if the connection is strong enough for you to potentially consider taking on the role of stepdad. No need to jump into anything too serious right away.

At the end of the day, you gotta do what feels right for you, man. Don't let the pressure from your mom sway you one way or the other. This is your life and your choice. Just be honest with yourself and with her about what you're looking for. Hopefully you can find a middle ground, but if not, don't feel bad about walking away.

[Abbycado]

“She’s my age and doesn’t want more kids”

”but I really want my own biological family”

And you can’t figure this out? No, you shouldn’t date her. Your goals and wants in a relationship don’t line up at all.

[BareEssence]

Why does it matter if the kids is biologically yours? Why can't your partner's kids be yours?

[Asker]

What’s wrong with wanting my own family?

[Berethor]

You can be with her for a short time, but it not worth to give up on having your own kids.

[Cheerfull009]

As she doesn't want more children and you wang to raise your own family , then don't date her

[Anonymous]

Not Unusual not unheard of

[Anonymous]

i see nothing wrong