Dating a 26 year old Virgin?

[Anonymous]

So I found myself casually dating this guy (going out/dinner, bar scene, etc) and we've kinda been (but we're not) dating for 3/4 weeks now and a few days ago I found he is a virgin... Before we started going out together I was kinda having casual friends with benefits sex and quit since I started really liking this guy and wanted to see where things went...But now I'm like shaken with awkwardness...

He's so fantastic and I really wanna make this work, but he's so blindsided to advances (where to put his hands when we're making out, or how to kiss my neck) It's just... it's not sexy... he can't touch me right and I feel like a wall... do I sacrifice sex and move on, or keep my cool and kinda guide this guy how to do everything? (which is kinda cute, but mostly awkward)

It's just like, I try to tell him how I feel things should be, but he's not aggressive, but he's ridiculously handsome ( he was one of those late bloomer types, he was not so handsome a few years ago lol) and I wanna make it work romantically but I can't seem to get past the virgin thing...

Any advice?

Updates

+1 y

OH, I've had sex with 5 others... 4 months ago my Boyfriend of 3 years and I split... It's just I'm so used to a very active sex life with my ex (sex like every day for 3 years even up to the end and after) that I just don't know what to do.

[Stacyzee]

Think about how you were before you lost your virginity.

You were inexperienced, probably awkward and had a lot of learning to get to the point where you are now.

That is how he is, he lacks experience and will only learn along the way.

Fast forward several months or years down the road if you two are still together he may find who he is sexually and become more dominant. But how can he be with way? When he has so much to learn. Right now you have to take the lead and learn how to enjoy this role.

Lead the way he will learn from you, eventually it will become natural.

Has he finds what he enjoys, what he likes (what you like), you will no longer have to tell him

how to do things.

Has we get older relationships mean more.

Breaking up with someone or eliminating a relationship due to reasons that will no longer be a problem down the road, isn't worth it if you're looking for something long lasting.

If he has all the qualities you want in a man then go for him,

He is your mr, perfect.

Would you rather be someone who knows what to do sexually, but doesn't know how to treat you?

To me that is a huge problem because it will be hard to undo this person.

The man you have now, is learning and wants to learn, you have to be his teacher ;)

The awkwardness will pass, and you never know he could be one of your "bests" eventually.

[MikeK]

Great answer.

[Stacyzee]

Thanks :)

[ShesSoSilly]

Just because he hasn't had sex with someone doesn't mean anything in my opinion and I wouldn't think about leaving him over that if he is a good guy that you're compatible with. We were all inexperienced at one point in life and all he needs is for you to just tell him or show him what you want and like. After some time it will become less awkward like it is for mostly everyone. You can probably help by trying to be more confident in yourself and make him feel at ease and less awkward because he probably feels more pressure and nervousness than you anyway.

You asked if you should "sacrifice sex" which I don't really understand either. Unless he is a virgin for religious reasons, in that case you should leave him because you are incompatible if you expect sex and he believes in waiting. But if he's willing to have sex and you just show him what you like I don't see how it wouldn't get better in time and it could be the best you ever had. You really have no idea.

[lauramor]

well guide him, tell him to take initiative and do what he feels he sould od.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

It's a little tricky whenever you date someone who is inexperienced. Sometimes, yeah, it does seem like you gotta teach them everything, but the blessing is, there's no bad habits to break from previous exes, so that's a plus. Anyway, so he's a virgin, OK, so that can be awkward, but that doesn't have to be. Just work him through it all, bit by bit, until you've basically got him set up exactly the way you want. You can just basically build him up from the ground up, sexually, and th beauty of this is that you're not even changing him, really. You're just teaching him new things.

He may be blindsided by advances now, but that can change once he gets used to it. His aggression (or lack thereof) has the potential to change once he's got the taste for meat. (Metaphorically speaking) Thing is, sooner or later, everything has the potential to change for the better, you just gotta work at it.

You said you really like this guy, and you said he's fantastic. Don't you think this guy is worth a little effort? Or is he not so amazing after all? I would think that if he was so fantastic, something so good would be worth a little work.

So that's my advice. That the good things in life are worth the effort, and that if you like him, you'd be best to give it a try. There will be a payoff.

[MuzePk]

Could not agree more.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Thanks, man.

[NotJohnGalt]

He probably wants to learn, but doesn't know what you like and is worried about going too far too fast. Move his hands for him, tell him what to do - honestly, he'd probably like it; after one or two times, you won't need to tell him what to do. Just don't destroy his heart - if he has waited this long for sex, he probably wants to have it with someone that he really cares about and that really cares about him (long term relationship, in other words).

[WoIIie]

While his inexperience frustrates you, your inability to empathize and use your experience to make it work is what's dooming you both.

Get over the fact that for once you have to lead the charge and show a novice how its done. If you can't keep a good guy because you refuse to show the qualities of a good leader and a good human being, then you're a selfish POS and I feel sorry for this guy.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

That's a harsh answer you put, there, but you've made some solid points. Especially When you said "Your inability to empathize and use your experience to make it work is what's dooming you both."

[MikeK]

+1 for Stitches... Best answer!

[Gawesome]

it may be awkward now since he's inexperienced but sex and intimacy can be learned through time once he's comfortable and experienced enough.

solution: just have sex with him until you unlock the latin lover inside of him! Sure it may suck at first...but all in due time...

[the_black_mask]

You get a one star rating for bad form. Bad form going anonymous and not allowing others to answer anonymously.

[Buffalo]

So girls like dating virgins huh? gimme a break. you are a shallow person especially for this line '( he was one of those late bloomer types, he was not so handsome a few years ago lol)'

You're just looking at him as a piece of meat

[MikeK]

+1

[moviedude714]

Let me guess, you are all of a sudden turned off by him when you found out he was a virgin?

[IHateBeingaMan]

so jealous and envious on how you girls don't have to do anything in order to get a sex life

[diegoD]

yea