Should I date a single mom?

Question

I met this woman, Kate, three months ago.

She has a daughter from a teen pregnancy, and the father is not in the picture. Kate is 28 (I am 27) and the girl is already 11.

Kate and I went out a couple of times. She never asked me anything and when I offered to help said she managed it on her own for ten years, and will do until her daughter is grown up. However, she really likes me and always says she would really like me to be part of her and her daughter's lives.

Should I keep the relationship going? I always thought dating a single mother would be a bad idea, but Kate seems to be a really good person and looking for a genuine relationship.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

She may seem may seem like a good person but is she just doing that to trick you into thinking she is? Maybe she’s a good, single mom, who knows. Here’s what I’ve learned from dating a single mom, 15 years later we’re still together.

What part are you going to be expected to play in this kids life? Is she going to let you discipline the child? Some women won’t let another man discipline their child but they still expect you to protect their children. I don’t think she’s going to say no I wasn’t expecting you to save my child from being abducted or jumping in the way of that car for my child. Is she going to expect you to help out financially? It would be a dick move, but more than likely she’s going to get mad if you show up w food for just the two of you, not the daughter. So there comes a lot of responsibility w out being given full responsibility like disciplining the child. Is the child going to accept you? Eventually you’ll be taking up mom’s time from the daughter. Not all, but enough that the daughter may start to resent you for that. Some kids have accused step parents of things because they don’t like the person. Not because the person did something wrong but because things changed once the other person stepped into the picture. You can’t just at the spur of the moment say let’s go to Vegas or something this weekend. She’s going to need a babysitter. What if the kid’s sick?

What happens if you two breakup but you develop a good relationship w the kid? Chances are she’s not going to let you see the kid. So now your hearts been torn in two ways.

Maybe one day the kid gets married. Will you be financially repair or for that? What if dad shows up one day deciding he wants to be a dad now. Then what? It happens.

Lucky for you dad isn’t in the pic. For me he was, till I had to put him in his place. It took a while for the daughter to warm up to me. The son never did. He was just stuck in his ways. Basically a replica of his dad. He was about the same age as Kate’s daughter. Eventually he moved out cause he felt his mom picked me over him. But the reality of it was he had no discipline. So over time when I tried to instill rules, chores he didn’t like it. He moved w his dad. He finally realized his dad was a POS but has too much pride to admit his father wasn’t the best choice. The daughter is in college, doing good, also works a full-time job.

I hope she (Kate) means what she’s saying about not needing your help. I think it’s ok for her to accept the help if you’re willing, but not to rely on you financially for everything. A lot of women who are single mom’s tend to want help financially. Does she have masculine qualities? You may run into issues w that. Because let’s face it, a lot of women who tend to be single mothers may have had to adopt masculine qualities to survive.

There’s a lot to it. It can be a challenge. You’re just going to have to discuss these things w a lot to go through. I was about 31 when I met her. That was my experience w a lot more.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

You know her not wanting to use you for money does say a lot of her. I don’t know what the story is from when she had her kids, and everyone grows from who they once were if she mad bad choices. Maybe she didn’t.

You’re dating her right now. As long as you’re interested. Keep dating and see if you’re compatible or not.

Just remember every person and their situation is different. Is there whores out there? Yeah. But not all single moms are. Some maybe slept witn someone they shouldn’t have but grown from their past choices, some may have been married but divorced because the husband cheated or was abusive, and then there is rape.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Just bc she’s a good person doesn’t mean she’s ready for a relationship. As a single parent I also chose to focus on my kids till they were grown. You need to respect that about her … A good mom will always put her kids first. And it’s hard to find a guy who truly understands that, gets on well with the kid (s), etc etc etc.

Hope this helps.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Well the kid is already 11 so I'd say yeah it's fine. If the kids was still a baby it'd be different since she might want your help raising her

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Diving into the heart of it, dating a single mom, like dancing, requires rhythm, respect, and a bit of spice! Your situation with Kate sounds like it has a good beat to it. She's independent, doesn't lean heavily on others for help, and yet, she's opened the door to her life, inviting you to be part of her duet with her daughter. That's a sign of trust and genuine affection, my friend.

Your hesitance about dating a single mom might come from preconceived notions or worries about complexities. But let's flip that coin. Kate's experience as a mom has likely given her strength, perspective, and a level of maturity that's rare. Plus, her invitation into their lives isn't just about you playing a role; it's about enriching a family dynamic with your presence.

Love isn't always about finding the simplest path but about who makes the journey worthwhile. If Kate's qualities and your feelings for her resonate more than your concerns, maybe this is a melody worth playing out. Keep the communication open, consider what role you're ready to step into, and remember, the most beautiful symphonies often come from merging different tunes together. Who knows? You might just fall head over heels for this duo! 😉

Finchie40 · Answer

If the father isn’t in the picture , she is going to expect you to help take care of her child , understand she is a package deal , being a step parent can be hard , why so many guys’ choose not to date a girl that already has a child , , so if you really like this girl you are best to accept her child as well, if not? You are just wasting your time

Avicenna · Answer

Unless you have no childless woman who's an option, I would say no. You just don't need the complications that a single mom brings, especially at your age.

AviatorTom · Answer

Sounds like you've found a good woman, and your relationship is doing well. Feel free to continue it. If you have concerns, she's the person tp talk with about them. Best wishes!

uncleBobbyb77 · Answer

When you say not in the picture you mean ever or he might show up every now and then but it's few and far between? The fact that she refused the help you offered is promising. Have you met the daughter? I understand it's a package deal man and it's not fair to the kid for the mom too date someone for a while and introduce that guy to her kid and then you know the kid might get attached then dude takes off or whatever. She's not going to have a very good basis with which to formulate a well rounded opinion on men from examples that never stick around. If you're not willing to be the dad that doesn't have to be then don't waste yours or Katie's time but if you are you might be the best thing that happened to either one of them. Other question is is Katie willing to let you be that man does she know how to play the role that lets you be that man

Nik1hil · Answer

Hmm... Yes,

1) see her child is quite grown up, Technically she is mother but her daughter is grown up and her mother duties are reduced and she can prioritise you.

2) Her daughter needs a good father figure, so be there for her daughter as father figure, if you can save one girl from trashing into OnlyFans and porn, I will be forever be Grateful to you man!. And you will be proud of yourself for the rest of your life!.

Go ahead sir, and be the Masculine anchor in their life!.

worldscolide · Answer

My friend, it's not necessarily a bad idea, but think of this, if she breaks up with you, are you prepared to have your heart broken twice?

So this is what happened to me, it's what soured me on single moms. I dated a girl a while back. Absolutely cared for her. She had a son, he was not as old as your girlfriends daughter. He was 7. I enjoyed both dating her, and I bonded with her son. This went on for 6 months. Eventually I caught her doing some pretty heavy drugs. I tried to help, she told me she wanted me out of her life. It killed me inside when I lost her, but it was far worse because I lost her son.

Additionally check for red flags. Red flags in single moms are things like alienating the biological father. And the like. Green flags are already present, as you mentioned, her refusing help and not asking for help.

At the end of the day it's up to you. For me it stopped being worth the risk.

BetaBucks · Answer

Depends what you want out of life. If you want a focused relationship and your own family, she probably isn't the right one for you. She needs to focus on her kid and keeping her own life in order. You'll distract from that and still never get her full attention. I doubt she wants to start another family, considering her past, so that probably a dead end for you. Do what you want, but you would most likely be happier starting a relationship with a younger, childless girl.

LadyKitty · Answer

If you really like Kate, and is a good person date her! Just know that if you do take her on as a partner. Then it will be a package deal and if you want your own kids you need to talk to her about that and make sure you are on the same page. Also you could be a positive role model in her kid's life.

Kiss_Me · Answer

Nope.

If you date a single Mom, you will ALWAYS be treated as a second class citizen in the relationship. Don't even get me started on the Baby-moma and Baby-daddy drama.

I also prefer my potential SO's to have better life choices than to have kids outside of marriage. As a testament to their lack of judgement and character, they also tend to be into things I find undesirable.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I think you already hit the main positives in the situation... but Kate seems to be a really good person and looking for a genuine relationship.

The fact she seems like a decent individual, you get along well and she's looking for someone genuine is very rare.

I think it's worth going to the next stage and meeting her daughter at some point.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Did you suffer a bang on the head or something or are you a simp. A single Mum is the last type of a woman you should go out with. You will never be put first and will always be undermined. Where is the father in all of this, that matters a lot.

LiamJHayden · Answer

If you are going to date someone with child (ren), no baby daddy drama and her being self-sufficient should be the bare minimum. She seems to be okay on both.

Just beware that dating a parent brings added complications. For example, the child might eventually resent your taking up mommy's time and attention. Doing things will inevitably cost more. Weekend getaways can be difficult. Many more potential issues.

Twalli · Answer

Make sure you remember that her daughter is far more important to her than you are. Also if her daughter doesn't like you, end it. I am not saying that you can't try to let her daughter get to know you, but if her daughter genuinely hates you, you can't be with her mother.

Nikki1989 · Answer

If you are compatible and not an immature loser, sure.

dustybiker2 · Answer

She has much more to lose and sounds like she really likes you.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

So far it seems like she is a very nice lady. Perhaps give it time and see how things turn out.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Well do not rush thingsbtakenyourbtimento get to know her. Also please be mindful the child will always come first.

sawno · Answer

Go for it, can be an incredible relationship if you can get along well with the kid.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Ugh... NO! Never play another man's saved game.  At your age there are PLENTY of better options.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Kids need guidance AND life lessons. Sounds like your the jealous type TBH. I agree with ypur premise though, someday you

Fireguy17 · Answer

Sure, just as long as the kids aren't used as pawns between the 2. Otherwise no.

exitseven · Answer

I would not date a single mom unless her kids were in high school

TracyF · Answer

Go for it bro, kids are awesome and only add happys to your life. Plus you and Kate can get married and have more kids. All around great life

Peridot25 · Answer

That’s your choice. You need to decide that on your own.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Why not? If she’s good for you and you’re good for her. Then yeah go for it.

OtterMan68 · Answer

if you have lots in common and she's a good person, yes

handsomelad70 · Answer

Your choice, but remember she should prioritize her kids, not you.

In_Trance · Answer

She didn't ask you anything but she really likes you?

grega239 · Answer

No. Unless you want to foot the bill for her and her kids

Anonymous · Answer

If you do, be VERY careful. Generally there's a good reason she's single.

rienna888 · Answer

Yeah, why not give it a try.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

yes go for it!

Jason2469 · Answer

Inlybif you are retarded or a cuck.

dolemite58 · Answer

Unless she’s a widow, absolutely not.

White_Swan_ · Answer

If you think you can get along, yes.

likeprincess · Answer

If u love her it is ok u can date

Anonymous · Answer

No. She might fuck your brains out

9inhard · Answer

Oh yeah and more

Anonymous · Answer

No don't.

Should I date a single mom?

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