Why is it such a problem that I know I’m not pretty?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think I’m ugly. This isn’t an evaluation of my worth. I just happen to know that I’m not conventionally attractive, but it puts people on edge when I actually say it? I don't understand. Like you know not everyone is conventionally attractive? I don’t understand…

[AnonAndrew]

They're probably just worried you're about to traumadump, or that you'll be sad about your looks and they'll have to bring you up.

If you notice that mentioning puts people on edge, why keep saying it?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Its hard to just take people's words for it cause it seems the attractive people don't know it meanwhile the unattractive people are the ones with all the confidence

[PrettyCrumblBb]

I've seen the opposite. The attractive people are more friendly, confident, and outgoing and the introverted people are more closed off and insecure.

[Asker]

@PrettyCrumblBb yeah I have to agree it’s easier for good looking people to be more outgoing in that way

[ChicoFromThe305]

Must be good to be y'all if that's what y'all witnessed lol

[PrettyCrumblBb]

That's not always the case though but I think it's a stereotype for a reason.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Fair enough lol

[Apple1996]

It's probably just more healthy to have some confidence in yourself. Everyone has something beautiful about themselves so I doubt you are unattractive

[Asker]

You’re probably right and that’s very kind of you. I don't know if I’m unattractive per se I’m just not desirable to men physically? like it’s not so much that I have a problem with the way I look as much as that men (my dating pool) doesn’t really find my looks appealing? I don't know if that makes sense

[Apple1996]

Yeah i get that. Some men only think perfect insta model type of women are good looking but there are some men who think differently and are more realistic about a woman's looks. Those men are more rare to find so it's kind of unfortunate for us women 😕

[Asker]

Yeah, that’s kind of the impression I got. I’m coming to accept that any attention from good guys I might get will be despite my appearance and not because of it. Like they tell you it’s important to look your best and feel pretty, but what if you’re just not?

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Maybe the genuinely think ur cute? Let them know it doesn't bother you. You don't have to look conventional to be attractive.

[Asker]

Maybe? I’ve gotten from people who’ve never seen me before tho so I don't know. I know deep down your right, but it still makes it harder for me to be noticed. I don't know

[Anonymous]

Because although there is an objective component to pretty, a lot of it is subjective

[Asker]

I understand this, but it’s weird that I’m not even allowed to comment on the objective component

[Opinion Owner]

People who get upset are just concerned about you

[Asker]

But that’s what I don’t understand? Why is it a concern that I know how society sees me? I’m sorry it just doesn’t make sense to me

[Opinion Owner]

People worry that you have low self esteem

[Asker]

Okay thank you