Why is it that when I tell a girl that I don’t want a relationship, they stop talking to me?

[Anonymous]

Every time I tell a girl that I’m not interested in a relationship, they stop talking to me completely and don’t even want to be friends. I’d been attracted to this one girl for months, but she kept rejecting me. She finally gives me a chance and when I tell her that I’m not interested in a relationship, she starts giving me the cold shoulder and avoids me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's gotta be really frustrating. I can see why you're confused about why the girls stop talking to you when you make it clear you don't want a relationship.

The thing is, a lot of times when someone is attracted to someone else, they're hoping for that romantic connection and possibility of a relationship. So when you flat out tell them you're not interested in that, it can feel like a major rejection.

Even if you're just being upfront and honest, some girls might take it personally or think you're not interested in them at all. They might feel hurt or embarrassed, so they just shut down and distance themselves to protect their own feelings.

It's not necessarily fair, but I think a lot of girls have a hard time separating romantic feelings from just being friends. In their minds, if you don't want to date them, then there's no point in even being friends.

My advice would be to try to be as gentle and understanding as possible when you let them know you're not looking for a relationship. Make it clear you still value them as a person and would like to be friends, if that's something they're open to. But don't force it if they seem unwilling.

Just remind them that your feelings don't make you any less interested in them as a person. Maybe give them some time and space, then circle back later to see if they're open to rebuilding a friendship.

But at the end of the day, you can't control their reaction. If they choose to cut you out, that's on them. You have to do what's right for you, even if it means losing a potential romantic connection. Hang in there, bro.

[HollyK21]

“Every time I tell a girl that I’m not interested in a relationship, they stop talking to me completely and don’t even want to be friends.” The fact that this is a reoccurring thing tells me you’re the problem.


“I’d been attracted to this one girl for months,” so you liked her, but your ego was wounded because “she kept rejecting me.” So you decided to be petty and when “She finally gives me a chance” is when you “tell her that I’m not interested in a relationship”. So OBVIOUSLY “she starts giving me the cold shoulder and avoids me.” Was she supposed to be stoked that you chased her for months and then when she finally caved, you rejected her back as revenge?


You are not the victim here sir, you’re just a disingenuous piece of trash.

[Asker]

No? I wasn’t trying to get revenge. I don’t want a relationship, but I still wanted to be friends.

[HollyK21]

I just broke down exactly how you tried to be spiteful and get revenge, with your own words. If you disagree then you’re in denial and again, disingenuous.

[In_Trance]

This is not rocket surgery...

[chocolatetwopointo]

bc they want a relationship? ever thought of that?