Why does this girl talk to me if she's not interested?

[Anonymous]

She has shot me down twice, but she still comes over to talk to me about things in her life. When we met, I invited her to stay longer to keep chatting but she said she had to go (friends were leaving). The second time, I went to her lab (other workers were around) to go out to eat but she said she'd go if others were going. I randomly bump into her at the store, both talks she talks to me a decent amount of time (at least 15 minutes) about how work is going, how she isn't sure if its going to work out. I saw her tonight but I tried ti avoid her. She came over and said Hi to me and started talking about job stuff. How she had interviews, not sure if its something she wants to do. How she's disappointment with her stuff. Asked how I like my stuff. Told me what she's cooking, etc.

So what's the deal?

Updates

+1 y

She stands over beside me and always looks me right in the eye.

[itsme1964]

She's a weak and self-centered person...and probably has daddy/mommy issues. She knows you like her and you're attracted, she knows you're a nice guy who will listen to her, and she relishes the fact that you aren't able to 'have' her because she's made that decision. You would get bored with this chick faster than you can say 'ponytail.'

A mature, adult person would recognize and consider another person's feelings. He/she would understand that it hurts when a interest in love is unrequited, and that taking advantage of the situation to boost one's ego is very selfish and signifies that the person isn't really all that unique/special because they have a little sense of self-worth. All these 'games' that men and women play are rituals for mating, nothing more...face it, we're apes, so we will act like it (particularly the dumb ones). You don't want to be tamed/domesticated by this girl, you would get bored fast...doesn't sound like there's much depth to her.

[Anonymous]

She sees you as a friend, nothing more...She doesn't want anything more, that should be pretty clear, she has shot you down twice.

[Asker]

Why does she go out of her way to talk to me about her problems? I'm basically ignoring her.

[Opinion Owner]

She wants a friend. And she sees you as a friend. I wouldn't ignore that, she could become a valuable friend/asset. Having a close friend that is a girl shows other girls that you are a nice guy. And opens the door to many other opportunities. Not to mention, it has been my experience that your best girl friends are often your friends first. And if you date and it doesn't work out, you usually can remain friends. Just a thought!

[Asker]

I don't mind at all but she doesn't make a big effort to be friends, I think. I mean I'm pretty sure hse kind likes hanging around me but we don't do anything other than talk at the grocery store. I don't know if she makes the effort to hang out otherwise.

[bbgirl]

i think she sees you as a friend. but by making sure that other people join you two when going to get something to eat and stuff she's making sure that you don't take it in a diffrent way.

[Asker]

Why does she essentially tell me her life story?

[bbgirl]

To make conversation. she probably feels comfortable around you and feels secure to tell you about her life.

[Asker]

I asked if there was anyone she can talk to about this stuff, she says they can't really help or something to that effect. So then why is she so stand offish? We don't see each other, hardly.

[bbgirl]

Do you give her advice on her life? my guess is that she values your advice becuz it helps her.

but if that's not it. then she just needs to talk to someone. like although I hardly see one of my guy friends(kevin) I can still tell him everything when I see him. I don't like him. he just gives out this trusting vibe.

[Asker]

You don't like him but trust him and tell him stuff? I think she just needs someone to talk to. It seems like she just unloads then moves along. But she kind gives some weird signs, like she was stroking her ponytail, then laying it rest on his shoulder (she'd do this a few times). Reposition her body to face me. Fidgit with stuff in her hand. Smile and laugh at my jokes. Like I wrote, I try to avoid her she made an effort to come over to talk to me. I hardly know her. We only met a few times.

[bbgirl]

Yea. it normal to be friends with a guy. nothing out of the ordinary. I think your reading too much into this.

[Asker]

Alright, I'll keep ignoring her.