Do you stop your friends when they're being obnoxious?

[NordicInScandinavia]

Last week I went on a walk with my partner, where we walked passed these 3 dudes who clearly had been drinking all night and we're coming out from some after party.

One of them addresses us, starts to follow us, my man responds short and the man looks at me, wants to shake my hand and gets mad that I refuse to do so (I was CLEARLY uncomfortable asf) and started commenting on how good I looked (shame on me). His friends did clearly see this was not right and got more and more uncomfortable, I could see it on them but the just stood by watching this happen. Had this been my friend I had been disgusted by their behaviour, stopped them and then think about it I wanted to be friends with someone like that.

And I swear! I was wearing a thick as winter jacked, JEANS, a scarf and a hat. Don't blame it on my outfit and how men just actions are tied up with women's appearances.

[SueShe]

No, I don't stop them and for one single and valid reason.

I don't have friends that are obnoxious, that don't know how to behave and that drink, smoke or do drugs. I am very careful how I chose my friends. I am very selective and I don't have more than a couple of them but I can vouch for all of them.

They would never swear, curse, tell inappropriate jokes, have sexual innuendo or attempt anything with me or anyone else. They are well educated and behaved and would never attempt anything that I disapprove, such as having feelings that are beyond those of a healthy and platonic friendship. I would never tolerate anything different.

If any of those hand picked friends would behave the way you mention it, they would no longer be my friends and I would sever the friendship on the spot.

[NordicInScandinavia]

I like this. 🫶

[DryGermanGuy]

I limited a friendship because of repeated situations like this happening and no willingness whatsoever to even acknowledge the problem (alcohol addiction). 🤬

[NordicInScandinavia]

I'm glad I "grew up" and started acting accordingly when observing shit from my "friend group". Used to let so much slide, even when I was at the end of whatever was going on.

My circle has closed up a LOT throughout the years. 🙈

[DryGermanGuy]

Oh, I can relate. At one of the first mature parties I visited with 16 I saw a guy sitting asleep in his own vomit. I took that miserable view as warning to myself to never go crazy with alcohol or hard drugs. And just as well I expect a certain restraint from friends even when they drink. But this one guy I mentioned initially, is spiraling out of control, getting into fights, threatening people, has no job and no perspective. But, according to him, he is supercool and a really sociable person and could stop anytime. After a certain point I was no longer willing to tolerate that shitshow.

[NordicInScandinavia]

It took me a lot longer than that to wisen up. Despite of growing up with the bad sides of alcohol and drugs, that's where my life was headed for a long time and I could've been that 16 year old. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've been a more miserable view than that more than once in my life. I do take pride that despite of how messed up I was, there where certain behaviours I've never tolerated being done towards others even tho I "tolerated" them happening to me but it took me a long time to step back from that environment. Some other than me have also moved on but 98% of "friends" are out, even some family members too. Now I have zero tolerance, might even be to harsh at times.