When you meet a guy and he mentions his girlfriend...?

[Anonymous]

So I just met a guy at work. We seemed to hit it off pretty well. It did feel like we had a chemistry and all.

Then he mentioned his girlfriend.

Why did he do this? Do guys do this to test girls' reactions? Or is it possible that I'm just reading too much into it? I mean, I wouldn't randomly mention my boyfriend (right now there is none) unless it was extremely relevant.

Also, what is the etiquette for guys with girlfriends? He is really good looking and the type of guy I would like, so I'm a bit disappointed. And I don't like to play the friends card..I don't like to become close friends with guys who have girlfriends if they are guys I'm attracted to.

[Anonymous]

Ok do you have a boyfriend?

If you are single you shouldn't find it odd that he mentioned his girlfriend. For men its different when it comes to having a girlfriend and meeting another girl who is not their girlfriend. He probably likes you and wants to clear the air. Or he may have a guilty conscience with his penis so he feels that by saying that he is relieving his guilt. Or his girlfriend git him whipped. Answer mine? link

[Asker]

Just answered. And no I do not have a boyfriend and I was so disappointed to hear he has a girlfriend :P He just mentioned it in conversation like "My girlfriend said this", it was like "we just met why are you mentioning her", it seemed kind of odd and out of place.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I know how you feel, this guy wanted to take me to dinner even after he told me he has a girlfriend. what a jerk

[Asker]

Damn I hate that. Sometimes if it is a guy you really want it is so hard to say no if you don't even know his girlfriend personally. There is this guy I used to like and he's always on and off with his girlfriend, you can tell it isn't serious and he flirts with other women a lot and stuff, so to me that almost doesn't count as a taken guy.

[Opinion Owner]

young men are so stupid! In college I have had guys who have girlfriends who still give out their numbers freely and act as if they are single. They just want something on the side

[titch]

Why do you think it's strange that he mentioned his girlfriend ? If I'm in a relationship my SO will always come into conversation because he is part of my life . I would also mention my SO if someone was flirting heavily with me . I don't like to lead people on if I'm not available .

[sunmonster]

That means he's letting you know he's not available. But may be interested in friendship.

[Asker]

Ack that's embarrassing, should I worry that he thinks I'm into him now? I mean, I'm not. We just met so it's too early for me to like him.

[sunmonster]

Uh, may want to tone it down a little bit. I know a lot of girls (and guys) are naturally flirty, and it can make people feel kind of weird.

[Asker]

Yeah I know I can be a bit of a flirt but I wasn't saying anything extreme in my opinion. I know when I'm really flirting and I didn't think I was with him..like I didn't "test the waters", you know, the way people will say very flirty things to see how the other person reacts. I've done that before but definitely not with him. Should I just not talk to him much? We work near each other so I will end up seeing him. Or could it have been my facial and body language?

[sunmonster]

maybe be casual and ask him how he's doing. I'm the say way I'm like unintentionally really flirtatious and it has gotten me into really awkward situations...even with men, and I'm straight. I think it's more of facial expressions and body language. I always make my biggest mistake when I accidently touch them.

[Asker]

Oh yeah maybe. I tend to smile a lot and I'm kind of the giggly type (but not stupid) and it does help me get guys' attention at times, I will admit that, plus I'm not exactly bad looking. Could it be that I'm attracting him and he's hinting that I should stop?

[sunmonster]

He may be attracted to you, I wouldn't be surprise.

And there you go- you have like the ideal personality. Every man wants a girl who is bubbly and friendly and hotttt

[Asker]

Thanks! Well nobody's perfect but in general guys like me when they get to know me, just most guys at work are too old for me, it's like, I finally met someone close to my age who would be good for me, and we seemed to hit it off, and he was smiling at me a lot and seemed to be warming up and just gave me that "there's potential" vibe. Then wham, he mentions the girlfriend.

[sunmonster]

It could be he's setting a boundary too- because he probably also finds you attractive. A potential threat to his relationship. Don't worry about it- take it as a compliment. He knows you hit it off, but wants to keep it casual. So, even though you are attracted to him, don't try to take the relationship to a physical level.

[Asker]

Thanks. I would not ever be the type to attempt to break up a relationship. I don't know if they are long term or serious or not, but we just met and will probably be working together for a while. So, I guess we'll see what happens. I guess I should just be a bit more distant and see how he acts.

[RyanRyanson]

Because he doesn't want to lead you on? Or maybe he wants some extra curricular.

[Asker]

Well we were mildly flirting and he was teasing me. But when a guy mentions his girlfriend it brings up a red flag in my mind. I don't want to be unfriendly to him either though.

[RyanRyanson]

Flirting can be fun, he's just letting you know his situation.

[Asker]

So it is fine to just be joking around? Is he going to gauge if I act differently from now on?

[RyanRyanson]

I think flirting is healthy for a relationship. It reinforces the idea that you are desirable to the opposite gender and are with your SO because you WANT to be, not because you have no better options. It's when it goes past flirting that problems arise.

I wouldn't stress it, continue flirting if you want or don't if you don't want, it's no big deal.

[cavmanier]

He mentions her because she is on his mind. He probably really likes her. I would think you would get the hint.