Why Do Women Think Being Called 'Ma'am' Means Old?

[Billlewis]

The salutation of 'ma'am' has absolutely nothing to do with the age of the woman being addressed -- it's a term that signifies authority and respect. Guys call their female school teachers 'ma'am'. When I'm closing a sale with a woman half my age, I say, 'Yes, ma'am' and 'No, ma'am', because I appreciate the fact that she's helping me earn a living. Yet, many young women today mistakenly believe that 'ma'am' is in some way a negative or age related insult. It makes no sense. If someone believes that you deserve the kind of respect that young women usually don't get, that's not a negative connotation.

[Beckybooboo]

I think "Miss" or "Young lady" is better. I've been called both and thought it was so cute lol I don't think I've ever been called ma'am tbh. I wouldn't be offended by it, because if they're trying to get my attention and don't know my name, they have to call me something.

[Billlewis]

'Young lady'? Really? Isn't that what the hotel concierge called prostitute Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman' (1990)? 'Don't play with me, young lady'

[Beckybooboo]

It can be used in a condescending way, like when a parent calls you, "young lady", then proceeds to discipline you but everything has to do with context, Bill. About a week ago a guy held the door open for me and said, "good morning, young lady" and I thought that was so cute.

[alli-112]

I mean, it's a term that people specifically start using when you get older. Like, nobody is calling you that at 16, ya know? And some people just are sensitive about their age because of the rhetoric surrounding women and aging.

Personally I hate being called ma'am, miss etc. Just feels yucky. Doesn't make me feel old, just gross.

[Billlewis]

The reason older women are often called 'ma'am' is because anyone who is older tends to have accumulated more power, authority and money than someone younger. If someone said to me, 'You're smarter than most people who are as young as you', I wouldn't take that as a negative. I mean, I get it that you probably don't hear it very often, but even though young people aren't treated nearly as badly as they used to be, they're still not really being treated well, by most accounts.

[alli-112]

I know it's not ill-intended, I just find it really uncomfortable all the same. I think it's like, a generational cultural difference or something.

[Billlewis]

Fair enough. I appreciate your response.

[alli-112]

Np, have a good day.

[Lucy68]

In the south we sometimes call babies and toddlers ma'am or sir. I guess it's a regional thing

[Jennz6]

Does she look old?

[Billlewis]

No, ma'am.

[Jennz6]

@Billlewis
Don’t call me Ma’am, it makes me feel like an old lady

[Billlewis]

I can't do it twice in a row... lol

[Nikki1989]

It sounds like something from the 1950s.

[XXblack88]

I agree

[WhitneySnow]

Because ma’am comes from madam and madam implies an old married lady

[Billlewis]

That's not what the Oxford dictionary says. It reads, 'The respectful or polite address of a woman, and the U. K. definition is 'female royalty'.

[ChooChooHaha]

People only do it cause of my hair color.
Otherwise, they'd call me miss.

[XXblack88]

Ma'am is too formal for my liking. I usually call women this if I don't know their name or their like a boss etc.

[Chocolatetwopointtwo]

bc ma’am is often used for older women. not that hard to understand.

[Billlewis]

Right, but that's only because most young women aren't in the kind of position or socio economic bracket to receive such a salutation. In other words, age is the catalyst for the term, not the root cause.

[Chocolatetwopointtwo]

okay👍

[Billlewis]

In fact, by my reckoning, one of the main reasons why everything is all screwed up today is because we treated young people so badly for so long. When I was in my late teens, in Indiana in the early 80's, it was really bad. For centuries, the group that was treated the worst in society, other than Blacks, was youth. This is my opinion only.