Why does my ex–best friend, who bullied me and took what she wanted, still talk about me and wants to prove she's superior after years?

[Anonymous]

My ex–best friend secretly got together with the boy I liked back in school. Her behaviour was strange she had lost weight and seemed eager for me to notice, she wanted to know if I was struggling at university, and through her actions she wanted me to realise that she was with the boy I liked. When she saw that I was hurt, she seemed happy, laughed slyly, and was aggressive and sarcastic toward me. I wanted to talk things through, but instead I realised she was bullying me together with the other girls in our group.

In the end, the group turned against me, labelling me the jealous, toxic one who hated my best friend, while in reality I was the victim of their bullying who didn't even knew what was going on. I was left being confused and heartbroken and since then I have trust issues and I am doing my best to heal. Looking back, she had always shown signs of being competitive and maybe jealous of me, constantly putting me down with passive-aggressive comments. I never found out the real reason why they treated me that way.

Some people later told me they probably saw me as an “easy target” an "outsider" basically and simply wanted to push me out of the group and that she was probably jealous that I was getting back then some attention from the guy. It’s been about years since then, and I’ve noticed through her posts that she still throws shade at me, painting herself as the victim who cut off “toxic” people and found a new, better group of friends. ?

Also, every time I post something even something small like a picture of my favourite food or TV show she immediately changes her profile picture to a glamorous photo of herself. It feels like she’s still watching me, and I don’t know how to get rid of her.

What’s your opinion on this story?

[HollyK21]

I can be pretty blunt so don’t take it personally but my opinion is that if you haven’t already it’s time to do the work to close that chapter of your life and move on. If you haven’t done therapy, consider it. If you have done it, try again, mainly because you are still so fixated on your ex-friend and reliving that trauma to the point it’s become part of your day to day, years later. You keep tabs on her social media, and draw lines of ongoing retaliation/bullying (aka making snubs or jabs at you) that may not even exist anymore. You wouldn’t know because you haven’t spoken.


In any case, you should wanna do the work to get to a point in your life where you delete her off social media or keep yourself far away from her page so that you aren’t aware of a single thing she does. Trauma doesn’t have to be your identity, it’s time to get your life back.

[Asker]

thank you for your honest opinion

[HollyK21]

No problem! I hope you are able to will yourself to stay away from that friends social media and focus on yourself, and your betterment. She doesn’t deserve so much power over your life.

[Anonymous]

Back in school? Liked a boy? Just how old are you really? Because if you are 25-29, you need to let it go already.

[Asker]

I'm trying, but it was something very dark for me on a psychological level.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Why do I feel like you two will end up on the news in some weird murder-suicide case?

[Asker]

yeah... I’m trying not to post anything that might provoke her, because I know she’s capable of competing with me again.

[Anonymous]

Babe I feel you come here lemme give you hug 😘