If a girl texts you first after midnight and ends up saying "I was thinking about you" what does that mean if I have mostly been a friend?

[Anonymous]

[HollyK21]

How you should’ve responded is neither here nor there now, the window to act on that situation is closed — it’s in the past. What matters now is what happens going forward and what your intentions are.


Playing it safe is great if you’re comfortable in the friend zone, but it sounds like you’re interested in her and if that’s the case then just act on it. Is that a risk? Yes, but no more than it would be for her saying something first, and at this point the only feelings that you can be sure about are your own. Of course there’s the chance she could reject you, but I feel like if someone is worth it then your ego, low self esteem or both should not get in the way of taking your shot before someone comes along and takes it from you. “NO” would suck, but it won’t kill you and if you think it would pulverizes your self esteem then you’ve got a lot of personal work to do. Because no one else but you determined your value.

[Staximus]

You should only ignore that if you want her to go away

[Asker]

I like her but how serious can I take that she didn't lead with it and it was after midnight

[Staximus]

She didn't lead with it? That only matters in your head. You're a little slow, buddy

[Asker]

You don't think there is a difference between a girl leading with "I was thinking about you" vs her saying it after you asked what made you text me?

[Staximus]

No, I think you're just being stupid

[Staximus]

The difference is in your head and it doesn't even fucking matter, what matters is she was thinking of you

[Asker]

Should I act on that or ask her to hang out?

[Staximus]

You should ask her out on a date

[Asker]

Why a date and not hang out? We never cross into romantic yet

[Staximus]

Pull your head out of your ass, dude. The girl wants to be more than friends, now ask her out on a date and stop being a coward

[Staximus]

Be a man and not a bitch boy

[HollyK21]

Didn’t you post about this before? Only asking because if so it’s been a couple weeks now, you may have missed your window for responding to that message specifically. You should just send her a normal text asking her out.

[Abbycado]

Holly, I’m not as observant as you. ☹️

[Abbycado]

Got some other funnies out there tho 👍

[HollyK21]

It’s just certain pieces of context paired with the age range that makes me go “hmmm, pretty sure I’ve seen that” lol

[Abbycado]

Sure, if you like her and feel it is right. Go for it.

[Asker]

I personally didn't think I could because it was after midnight. She might be tipsy or whatever I personally didn't think I could because it was after midnight. She might be tipsy or whatever

[Abbycado]

I agree. That doesn’t mean you can’t wait until another day and approach it the same way.

[On_cloud_wine]

It’s more classy to text during the day. Late night texts means something else to me considering how close we are

[queenofcardio]

Sure if you want. You can also say you were thinking about her too.

[Asker]

I personally didn't think I could because it was after midnight. She might be tipsy or whatever

[Anonymous]

If I texted a guy anything close to that at night it would be guaranteed sex for him so you're missing out if you don't respond.

[Asker]

Does it change anything if you didn't lead with "I was thinking about you"?

[Opinion Owner]

[Asker]

So is that a no?

[Anonymous]

Ignore it.

[Anonymous]

She may have some feelings for you

[Asker]

Think so? I never would have thought because nothing has happened between us

[Opinion Owner]

Well maybe its got her thinking...

[Opinion Owner]

I could be wrong but she should know that thats sending mixed signals you know

[Asker]

She probably doesn't think of it that way. She probably thought she was just sharing a thought with a friend. I did ask her what made you text me

[Opinion Owner]

And what did she say to that?

[Asker]

I asked what made you text me first and then she responded "I was thinking about you"

[Opinion Owner]

I mean it could be innocent. Maybe as a friend she was thinking about you. It depends how the conversation went after she said that. Like we're you talking about school or work. Or if she talked about hanging out or spending time then id say she likes you

[Asker]

The conversation didn't last much longer. My response probably didn't encourage a flirty vibe

[Opinion Owner]

Next time just be there for her. She will expose how she feels in due time

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know she might lol just gotta read her vibe. But I guess leason learned. Stopped thinking so hard next time just go with the flow

[Asker]

Yeah I understand now. I didn't think in the moment I could respond flirty or lead things to possibly meeting up

[Opinion Owner]

Yea...

[Asker]

Do you think as a girl if you text a guy after midnight you know what you're doing?

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly it depends how old the girl is to me. But usually if a girls thinking about you at midnight she has some feelings. Have you ever heard the saying "you are the first person they think about when they go to sleep". I don't know this is tricky to me cause I dont really have much to go on. But to answer your question... yes.

[Asker]

I don't know what circumstances she was in. She might have been out at a party

[Opinion Owner]

If she was drunk at a party then you're obviously the first person she wants to talk to. And when you're drunk or tipsy feelings come out
I remember the first phone conversation I had with my ex. I called him (I was drunk) and we talked on the phone for hours. I say that cause liquid courage. Don't want to burst your bubble... but you may have blew it. Smh

[Asker]

Why do you think I may have blown it?

[Opinion Owner]

I think maybe you're so cautious you didn't flirt back or try to see where her head was at. And then you probably haven't texted her in a while to try and see if she likes you or if you guys would hang out... lol nothing! My best guess is she's thinking not to do that anymore because it didn't lead anywhere

[Opinion Owner]

I hope i didn't discourage you. Again I don't know if you guys have spoken after this but yea.

[Asker]

No, not at all. I actually appreciate what you're saying. It gives me insight into how women think.

In that moment I definitely didn't flirt or see where her head was at. I honestly didn't think I could be, I've always been a friend although she was aware I liked her. I've been passive and rarely made moves. The most I did was tell her we should hang out but nothing has happened.

The day after that text I texted her and it was like nothing happened. She didn't bring it up and I didn't either

[Opinion Owner]

I love a good love story and this ain't it. Save your heart for someone else. she's not giving you much...

[Asker]

Yeah I agree

[Opinion Owner]

Im sorry...

[Asker]

It's okay. I'll live

[Opinion Owner]

Okay good

[bunniesrcute]

she was probably drunk

[Asker]

How should I interpret that?

[bunniesrcute]

as nothing

[In_Trance]

you have no other option, so...

[beenherebefore]

Yes.

[Asker]

Why can I do that?

[beenherebefore]

Seems like she's expressed interest in you.

[Asker]

You would think right? We just have this long standing undefined dynamic where I liked her but I never made a move. I basically acted like a friend and she treated me as such

[beenherebefore]

Seems like you both one the same and are waiting for each other to make the first move.

[Asker]

Maybe. It's weird because we never hung out although we knew each other for years. I admit I've been vague with plans but don't you think if she wanted to hang out she would have made plans or some girls don't operate like that operate like that?

[beenherebefore]

Girls can be very cryptic about the guy they like.

[Anonymous]

I suppose you can try.