If a guy can't pass a woman's looks threshold, does she want to get to know him at all?

[Anonymous]

Let's say this guy is a decent person and has good characteristics (Outgoing, responsible, good sense of humor, educated on a lot of topics etc) but he's not physically attractive. Will any of those traits i mentioned matter if he can't pass the woman's looks threshold (physical attraction barrier) first?

[Crimsyjo]

Unfortunately in today's speed dating, shallow apps and instant expectations of current generations this is hard. But definitely not impossible. Women can become more attracted to a guy they get to know over time. This means a guy in this situation needs to be in areas where frequent same-people contact happens. Such as through work and hobbies.

However sometimes if attraction is not there a woman may really really like you but you won't get out of the friendzone.

But I also caution a guy against predetermined judgement of himself as being unattractive. You are not objective. And there are so many differences in what people perceive as handsome you cannot and should not rule yourself out as never being some woman's type.

[Asker]

Its subjective within the same range of looks. You can't put a below average looking guy next to someone like Matt bomer or John erik hexum and says it's subjective

[Crimsyjo]

But those guys are not my type. Plenty of girls might like other types like a rugged bearded guy type. Or a emo/punk type. Some girls love a guy covered in tats. Where another would hate that. Put those types together in a room with your Matt B and John H. By your rationale majority of females will go for say John H, then Matt B, leaving a smaller pool of women. This is really a probability game right. Or percentages. I like using percentages.

So using your belief system roughly and nit arguing it - % of 100 girls in a room with this line up.
Matt B - 80% want him. But maybe only 20% would be so shallow to say they won't accept anyone else.
John H- so 60% go here. That's some overflow from girls who like Matt B type but also wouldn't mind John H type.
Rugged guy - 30%. Lower cos it's more a specific type than the other two. But lots of girls like a manly man who's rough around the edges.
Tattoo guy - 30%. Similar to rugged. Much more accepted these days.
Emo/punk guy - 20%. Much less cos it's much more of a niche type. But put him in a punk bar with girls who are also emo types and his chance goes to 60%.
You/general guy. I dont know what your looks are. Your style. Your type. But lets say based on your belief it's low.. it's still a 5% chance of finding at least 5 girls in a 100 that would find you attractive. And if those girls like a type then you need to find places where there is more than 5% of those girls in a place. So.. if you are a Asian guy who wears a suit, you go where girls who love Asian guys in suits are more likely to congregate (conferences? Courses on economics? Politics).

Ok it's not that easy. I should know. I'm trying to find where I can find my type of guy. And I'd like any of those types. Rugged, tats, emo. Cos beyond type there is also something more needed than just looks. So cultivate your personality, throw off the negativity and bitter sounding "girls only like top ten guys" and just relax a bit. And put yourself out there.

[MissSunshine2]

I’ll be honest. Yes, sometimes people can become more attractive to others as they get to know them better; but there’s never a guarantee of that happening. Even with attractive people, there’s no guarantee that they’ll attract those they want.

[Mariogirl09]

I think if you meet a woman who isn't shallow its possible

[Asker]

Will you date any man if they're just nice to be around

[Mariogirl09]

Any man? he's gotta be more than just nice

[Asker]

Will you date any man that has good personality?

[Nikki1989]

Hmmmm, I didn't know there was a "threshold".

[Asker]

So you'll date anyone?

[Nerdvana]

I can tell you from personal experience, no. They will try to gaslight you, and tell you it's your fault because you don't have any self-confidence.