Relationship advice?

Question

For context, I'm a guy wanting advice from a females perspective. I'm feeling extremely anxious and feel depressed sometimes about a situation. what does my crush likely think of me blatantly being awkward around her and her friends and avoiding them for a whole year even after they tried to initiate interaction with me and to be friendly? This is a girl i confessed my feelings to, and she declined going on a date with me. she said she isn't looking for someone right now, and maybe another time. i could tell i made her uncomfortable, so i started actively avoiding her and pretending i don't notice her when i walk near her. I have blatantly being awkward around her, and she notices I'm avoiding her. They have now stopped trying to initiate interaction, so now I've left the church because of my fear about this situation. It's been a whole year since i left. is there hope that i will be able to have a friendship with her if i return or her friends? how will i ever be able to feel comfortable around her again if i feel this humiliated?

SueShe · Accepted Answer

There is no reason to feel humiliated if someone tells you they are not interested in going on a date. This is something that happens more often than the other way round when someone asks a girl out for a date.

You did overreact and those girls are not stupid not to react that you were avoiding them because your crush rejected you. Actually, what you did is to give her an pretty good overview of your character and personality and that is not something to be proud of.

You are in a difficult situation because to reverse the opinion they have on you will be more than just difficult. How can you prove that you are different and not the person you showed to them?

You have to work on that issue.

Selene1600000 · Accepted Answer

From a woman’s perspective, she and her friends probably saw you as nervous and embarrassed, not creepy or bad, and they likely stopped initiating because they thought you wanted space. A year feels huge to you, but to them it may just look like someone who got hurt and disappeared after rejection, and there is definitely still a chance for a normal friendship if you return and act calm, polite, and consistent over time. The comfort comes back by slowly facing the situation instead of avoiding it, because the avoidance is what kept the humiliation feeling alive this whole year.

WhitneySnow · Answer

If she and her friends tried to initiate interaction with you, you don’t make them feel uncomfortable. Just because she wasn’t ready for a relationship doesn’t mean she hates you. Go back to the church. Tell her you’re sorry for avoiding her and her friends and you’d love to hang out as friends. Who knows? Someday it might even blossom into romance when she’s ready.