How do you deal with being falsely accused by a woman you know?

[lightbulb27]

I was recently, got the emotional abuse from it.

It was proven I was innocent, falsely accused!

What do you do to address the situation with the false accuser... assuming you know them and it's safe to do so?

[Coercion_Is_Trauma]

I just had something similar to that yesterday. Internally i told myself to willingly try to feel as bad as i can about it, as if i truly did what i am accused of doing. Externally i just show no signs of even hearing the accusations. I don't owe anyone proof of anything either way. ㅤ

[DishLady]

What specifically wa she accusation? I once told a guy he pushed me too far (with his attitude) and he thought I was accusing him of sexual whatever. (As if I’d let that happen.)

[lightbulb27]

That I misplaced something of theirs when I hadn't. they forgot that they picked it up and put it somewhere. They were blaming me for losing their item. It wasn't direct, it was emotional abuse and attitude it was my fault, accepted no fault of their own when the truth was revealed.

[_Jenny_]

@lightbulb27

I could never falsely accuse a man of touching me inappropriately, that’s just wrong. I’m sorry that happened to you.

[lightbulb27]

Thank you.

[_Jenny_]

You’re welcome

[RavVid]

Hmmh. I am assuming the accusation has a sexual nature and it became a police complaint but investigation proved it ill-founded. I seem to remember you have an ex who is not in a hurry to find other accommodation.

I may be misremembering but that is the context I am answering in.

First I think you need to protect yourself from further false accusations. If you haven't already install cameras which record sound in every bloody room including the toilets plus front and back yards.

It seems to me it has got pretty nasty already as you have been falsely accused, so I think you could do with talking to a lawyer. Making false police reports is a chargeable offense you could see what options you have with that and libel. Kinda all you need is enough to make her back off.

Telling others what has been going is probably a good idea but you would need not to do libel on your side so clearing what you can and can't say would sensible if affordable. Getting advice on evicting her would be worthwhile.

I would assume she has ambitions of taking your house by the way, so I think you need to look at that side.

If you were safely locked up in jail she wouldn't have a problem would she? Maybe that is the reason for the false report. You can possibly expect a personal safety order from her so maybe you should get in first.

That's a grab bag of thoughts. Look at what she might try next is the net summary.

[lightbulb27]

no not me, it was family member that remembered something wrong and put it on me. It's been dealt with, for now.
But the general GAG awareness is this... brains make errors... personalities can be troublesome. People can be wrong.
You have to be careful and deal with each individual. Anyone on a jury has to really consider the facts.

[RavVid]

Well I am glad it is not as bad as I thought for you. Indeed people remember wrong. There was that whole recovered memory period where pysch's helped clients develop false memories.

Entirely right about facts.

[whocares1972]

I would physically write them a letter explaining what they have done to me. Put a stamp on the envelope and mail it to the person. Then wait for their response. That will give you the answer. You either accept the abuse or you don't. It's a boundary. Remember that 💯

[lightbulb27]

That's well said. We did a phone call after short discussion in person. But I actually like the idea of getting it all in writing.

[whocares1972]

It's good therapy for yourself to write the letter too.

[lightbulb27]

I like what they'd do at work.
Writeu pthe individual, document it and put it in the file. failure to make the changes, they get fired... tossed out of the house:)

[Anonymous]

Catch her on tape if you can. Becomes very useful in the police station. Make sure youve copies.

An ex tried to blackmail me and then made false allegations of rape. I had her on tape.

A common theme now is women making historical false accusations will conviently have no evidence and be unable to give a day, a time a date, a month, a year etc because the person they are falsely accusing may actually have been somewhere else with an alibi. I had a buddy at college accused of rape by a jealous ex, he was actually at a wedding in another country at the time and with all the evidence the college and women's groups on college still treated him like he was guilty.

[scott04sa22]

that happened to me a few times and i been falsely accused that i only date women who are 18 - 20, People who accused people like that, they suck, Big time and that is the best time to let go of people like that and find people who are good to you then people who starts dramas in your life.

[Chazmatazz269]

Nothing. Avoid them. Otherwise you’re just asking for another false accusation.

[lightbulb27]

family...

[Abbycado]

Like you would deal with anyone, regardless of gender.

[lightbulb27]

like what? Aready called them out, but was offered no apology, they were just sad and avoidant. that's not good enough for me. Going to escalate.

[MrOracle]

You cut toxic people out of your life. Wasting your energy trying to get back at them only hurts you. Move on and don't deal with her at all if that's possible. Pretend she doesn't exist and give her none of your energy.

[lightbulb27]

I could, might be the smart move even, but that be a big one! there's nothing that can be done from the training viewpoint?

[MrOracle]

Do you really think she is ready to learn anything right now? Most people don't learn lessons that are critical to themselves and their values or behaviors until they have felt some pain because of them. Only when they are in pain are they willing to consider if maybe they are the problem.

At this point, the best thing you can do is cut her off completely. She will likely feel some pain - maybe not much, and she won't admit it feeling it, but she probably will. But not enough pain to change - she'll just blame you. But when this happens 5 or 10 more times, she might begin to realize that she might be the problem.

In any case, you probably won't be around by then, so you won't see it. That's why you shouldn't worry about it. And it may never happen - some people never take accountability no matter how much pain they feel.

Best you can do is begin the process. Cut her off and move on with your life.

[lightbulb27]

Dang, you are a wise Oracle aren't you! That is reality, I'm hoping for better. Do you think wrestling and headlocks would work.. I can probably take her... maybe. We've talked about that more than once... cutting off, that's a bitter pill.

[JazzieJanna]

I mean u know what happened but they just gonna act like a damn bitch and said no that didn't happen so I would say leave it

[lightbulb27]

Once the evidence was found and she remembered, the truth was revealed... that she just forgot! the ensuing ignoring of responsibility and make amends was another level of problem.
Be careful with humans... their brains make errors:)!

[captain_voidwalker]

Don't listen to these milksops, keep it legal but get revenge. They hurt you it's only right that you hurt them.

[lightbulb27]

its family. I'd do that to ensure they learn and don't repeat with me or others. intentionally, that's not going to be ok, I'm not vindictive.

[captain_voidwalker]

Its not about bieng vindictive, it's about justice. They should pay for thier betrayal

[Smegskull]

Sue for defamation and a restraining order.

[lightbulb27]

family member, confronted directly. that be interesting though if was public.

[lightbulb27]

wouldn't wish it on anyone though.

[Alexson_stormzy]

Silence Absolutely

[lightbulb27]

sildence treatment? I was direct confronting...