You think she’s rude or just jealous?

[Anonymous]

Saw this girl kind of smirking when I was dealing with an interpersonal situation.

of course it’s rude. But I wondered is she insecure of me why would someone be unnecessarily bitchy like that. It would explain a lot

[HollyK21]

I don’t know if you have any history with this woman, so I’m just going to form my opinion around the little context provided. So look,
I think it’s understandable that her reaction felt frustrating or even dismissive, especially when you were already dealing with a stressful situation. However, it might not be about rudeness or jealousy at all.
Sometimes people smile or smirk as like a nervous reflex when they witness awkward or tense moments. I’ve done the same and always feel bad after since it’s not on purpose, I also laugh sometimes when uncomfortable. It’s also very possible she was entirely caught up in her own thoughts, or even reacting to something on her phone, and the timing was just bad coincidence. Jumping to jealousy might give her action more power than it deserves. That being said, I think it’s usually best to assume she was just an awkward bystander. I don’t see any direct reason to make it more than that, and let it go.

[Asker]

Nah this was definitely on purpose this woman is aware that I am sensitive (some history)

[HollyK21]

Even if there’s history between you two, that still doesn’t mean she’s jealous or insecure, and I’m just saying this in a general sense. Sometimes people just don’t get along, and assuming she’s jealous sounds like you are trying to find a flattering reason for why she dislikes you. My question to that would be, why give her so much importance? By spending this kind of time analyzing whether or not she was trying to trigger your sensitivities is just letting her win.

[HollyK21]

I’d also ask if you are seeking validation, or genuinely open to receiving advice even if it’s objective. If you were open to other interpretations, you wouldn’t immediately stand ten toes down on this ideation that she’s jealous of you, and be willing to welcome the idea that she may not be.

[Asker]

The thing is you don’t see the irony you are hellbent on proving it’s random when I know the person and know it wasn’t random.

Do you really think I’ll believe you - someone who doesn’t even know the person Va what I saw with my own eyes

[Asker]

I’m open to opinions when they consider all possibilities not dead set on one

Honestly? When women do crap like that usually it is out of jealousy I’ve had relatives pull shit like that

And whether it is or isn’t it’s fucking damn rude

[HollyK21]

If you already had all the answers and just wanted people to validate your journal entry, then you probably should’ve mentioned that in your post. You’re right, I don’t know her, but I do know that asking for advice and then getting all mad and defensive when people don’t echo your assumptions is pretty ironic itself. Hope venting helped, though!

[Asker]

Read what I said above I like people who consider all sides and not just force their opinions on others the way job are. Don’t want to engage with you about this further as I feel I’m going around in circles trying to explain this to you

[HollyK21]

Agreed, going in circles with someone who asks a question just to argue with the answers is exhausting. Since we both want to stop engaging, let's Just say you're right about everything and move on. Wish you the best!

[rgb008]

Why do you think she is insecure from a quick moment like that?

[Asker]

Other behaviour from her. Like I noticed she only befriends people who are less than her or like her.

She seems particularly surface level polite without being friendly towards me.

I noticed today too she was sitting on a table where she was the only female. You would think she’d look for another woman.

I thought before maybe she just doesn’t like me but the smirking thing made me feel like she’s being bitchy for no reason

[Nikki1989]

It is probably both.

[Asker]

I’m kinda mad at myself that I didn’t call her out on it.

Next time how do I set a boundary