Guys why is innocence attractive?

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine got married las Friday. All the bridesmaids wore dresses in soft pink and I had a lot of guys, that I knew, tell me how innocent I look in that dress. One even said I look as if I think of little puppies before I fall asleep (not quite sure what he was trying to get at?) Anyways, ironicaly they all thought it was hot.

And well I don't quite get it. If you want to have a relationship and sex with someone, isn't innocence a bit counterproductive?

Also I associate innocence with children, so I find a bit weird men think it's attractive. Particualry that puppy thing this one guy said, seemed really disturbing to me

[Krizwar]

My opinion is that innocence is actually sexy, attractive. A turn-on. It is not attractive, to me, that a girl THINKS that she knows how I like to be and how I like to be pleased.
By the way everyone's likes and dislikes always change.
When a girl is genuinely innocent it almost seems like she doesn't know anything about me and she really wants to get to know me - because she cares / is really interested in me, or she simply is pleased by being with me. Accordingly, she will ask questions like: (not sexually, although it translates to bed as well) Do you like this? Are you enjoying it? Do you want more? How are you feeling? What's the matter? "I really don't know and I would like for you to show me or tell me -- guide me to your world. And, of course, as a wise person that cares, (a gentleman) I would correspond with my partner. I would answer her sane questions (not the jealous, indirect questions) and I will try to relate to how she feels and ask how I can be of service as well.
Innocence is key on both sides, it humbles us. A person that has never had sex is not "hot" because we can corrupt he/her/zey¿, It's attractive and a turn on because they are a blank slate, a person that you teach your needs to, a person you can convince to like something that you like, (of course this person will always like something unique and such likes should be addressed) when you please someone by doing something that you like, you win, and when someone pleases you by doing something that you like while being pleased by you, then you've created a harmonious relationship. Your hearts beat at the same rythm.
But it is hard to find a genuinely innocent person: An angel. A lot of people are lost in their egos, thinking they know it all; selfishly trying to please others' pleasures because they think they know who they are, when in reality everyone is unique. When you are humble you care, you empathize, you love and you receive love. Just like when you find your dream job... when you get paid to do what you love, but to live like that, you must be able to succumb the urges of the ego and deny to feed its wants by gaining knowledge of what is good and bad = helpful and unhelpful, thus creating a healthy relationship.

And that's why it is hot to me.

[Anonymous]

It always strikes me as disturbing, too. Sometimes guys like the idea of "corrupting" someone, or just being the "first." Even if they aren't attracted to innocence because it's childlike, the other reasons just don't seem right, either. For example, being attracted to a girl because she looks like she needs protection is kind of... sexist? As a guy trying to imagine being a woman, I can't fathom why anyone would want to be seen as such a lesser being that they need someone to protect them. Maybe I'm just being nitpicky but it seems to me that if you want a healthy adult relationship, you won't seek out dependency.

[mimiperson]

I understood what you said about dependency etc. but what's wrong with wanting to be someone's first?

[Freetobe007]

Innocence doesn't gaurantee dependency. Just because a female is innocent in a form doesn't mean she's depending on the guy for anything.

[Opinion Owner]

@mimiperson Nothing, I'm talking about people who practically fetishize it. And men who also believe that a girl is "damaged goods" if she's been with someone before him.

@Freetobe007 I didn't mean to imply that :P I'm saying that if a guy wants a girl who needs to be protected, it seems like he doesn't see her as someone INdependent who can take care of themselves. He wants someone who "needs" him.

[sixstring]

It's not sexism. It's human biology.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh boy, the evolutionary argument. Humanity is far from cavepeople now, women no longer need "protection." If protecting women was some universal biological drive, every guy would feel it. But no, we're individuals.

[sixstring]

Oh please.

When women are talking about what attracts them, most of them like tall guys, a bit more muscular etc. They're so often going on of how safe and protected they feel when they're with their men.

Feeling protected is a basic urge that so many women share.

Why is it sexist for guys to want to protect girls, but normal the other way around?

And yes the evolutionary argument. We've been living like this for 250.000 years, 50 years of modern society isn't going to change our biology soon.

[sixstring]

And guess what, a lot of women still need protection by men... from other men. If a girl is being bothered by an a**hole, who is she going to call for help? Her BFF girlfriend? I don't think so.

[sixstring]

And finally, it's not because you're the rare kind of guy that doesn't think this way, that it's not universal.

Because it really, really, really is universal. Stories of the damsel in distress being saved by the hero are as old as time itself and come from every single culture.

[Asker]

I kinda agree with him.When I walk down the steet in the dark I feel much much more safe than if I was with a girl or even several girls. It may be unreasonable but I still feel that way.I don't consider that sexist so it would be unfair to say it'd be sexist the other way around.

I still can't but to feel it's weird to find childlike features attractive and there certainley are some guys with questionable intentions as you said.Also evolutionary,wouldn't it be better if she can protect herself

[sixstring]

"Also evolutionary,wouldn't it be better if she can protect herself"

True. But the men who were more protective of their women, kept their women alive longer and more frequently. Which means the protective men got more off-spring. Which means the protective nature got passed on and became a dominant trait in men.

[dudeman]

youre a pussified idiot

[Opinion Owner]

Is it not possible that the reason (or at least one reason) why most women want dominant, protective "alpha males" is because they're CONDITIONED to? I'm not saying that prehistory doesn't have any influence on who we are today, I'm simply saying it's not the only factor, it doesn't explain everything.

[sixstring]

Uhm... Evolutionary psychology explains pretty much all differences between men and women.

I agree that women might get conditioned, but not in the way you intended. Kids just see that in general, men provide greater protection than women. So that's why they turn to men for it. It's that simple.

[Opinion Owner]

I'll just recommend the book Delusions of Gender, and that's all. If you don't want to challenge your worldview, then fine.

[sixstring]

How can you argue with this. The average girl is a lot weaker than the average guy. When a girl is physically confronted, she needs other guys to help her out. How is any of this not true?

Claiming that there are hardly any differences is dangerous. A unisex environment doesn't work. We need to discuss the differences and find a common ground.

[Anonymous]

I think guys find innocence attractive because it's rare.

Most women these days are the exact opposite of innocent. There's nothing innocent about them. Almost to the point where it's unattractive. There's something pure and special about innocence. Innocence is being able to keep a part of yourself in tact despite the many things in life that try to shed you of that innocence. Innocence can be related to children and the way they think, but it can also be related to "not being guilty". Not being guilty of being a female who's not respectable and spreading her legs for a bunch of guys. Not being guilty of being a selfish heartbreaker. Not being guilty of being a cold, cruel b*tch. Not being guilty of screwing people over. Not being guilty of being another person who contributes to something so ugly and damaging. I think that a lot of guys find that very appealing.

Innocence doesn't necessarily relate to sexual innocence. Although, I can see how for some guys, they may find sexual innocence appealing for a variety of reasons. Here are a few...

1. They don't have to worry about catching a disease

2. It makes them feel special to have a sexually innocent girl and out of all the guys she could have sacrificed that innocence to, she chose him.

3. They don't have to worry about having friends or aquaintences who have hooked up with her and know all about what she's like in the bedroom and what her naked body is like

[Freetobe007]

I agree with anon, I think there's something rare and refreshing about genuine innocence of the mind. There are so many people who cause you to deal with hurt and disappointment because they don't know how to maintain any bit of innocence. Don't get me wrong, we are human and we're not going to be innocent in every aspect. But when it comes to some really big things, innocence can really remedy a situation or keep it from getting out of hand. I can't speak for guys, but I really value and appreciate a guy who has some form of mental innocence together. Like loyalty innocence or 'anti-player innocence'

[alleycat34]

its because when a girl is innocent she looks like she needs protection, and men are wired to be protective. it makes them feel masculine

[Axantur]

Spiritual and emotional innocence is not necessarily childlike, it is a form of beauty. It is the absence of corruption, either due to one’s lack of exposure to corrupting influences, or to ones resistance to those influences. Innocence is the quality of wanting to bring beauty and good into the world and not evil, of nascent or realized altruism. In a woman, it is manifested in a purity that makes one approachable, for one radiates the quality of not being judgmental of those with kind intentions. Innocence is one of the most sublimely beautiful feminine qualities, though men can also have it; while gender-neutral, it manifests in the genders differently. I think that you should ask yourself why you wouldn’t want to be considered innocent, and who convinced you to feel that way? Puppies are cute, beautiful, and innocent. There’s nothing disturbing about what he said. As in calling you innocent, these men, gentlemen perhaps, were paying you a wonderful compliment. If you can’t see why, then you should again, ask yourself what about you has jaded you so that you can no longer see this sort of beauty. Is all that matters now carnality?

[sixstring]

Guys are instinctively very protective about girls. Innocence and child like features makes it appear she needs more protection, which draws us to her.

[Asker]

ok well, I just thought it wouldn't of great advantage in the bedroom as it seems that most guys nowdays want the p*rn star expierence, not innocence, so how can innocence still be attracive

[sixstring]

*facepalm*

It's not because guys like watching p*rn that guys want girls to be like p*rnstars. >< Some do but they're immature a**holes and the minority.

[Asker]

well the idea is not unreasonable. Maybe I'm wrong, I've never been in a relationship that close but I was under the impression most guys expect to do most things they see in p*rn. Am I wrong?

[sixstring]

Wanting to perform sexual fantasies they picked off from p*rn is not the same as wanting their girlfriends to be like p*rnstars.

[TrevorIsLegend]

I genuinely believe it can be sourced back to instinctual reasonings, lots of things can, innocence can equate to being “pure” or “untouched” which back when people were basically just monkeys would have been a good thing because if no one else has “planted their seed” that means that you can. It’s kind of the same thing as men finding wide hips and big butts attractive... means they’re healthy, and more capable of having children, this is all on a subconscious level but yeah lol

[Anonymous]

We guys are attracted to girls who are innocent, as long as they're cute. It's sweet and endearing.