Would you get mad if your boyfriend slept over at another girl's place?

[sexlatte]

This happened a couple times in the beginning of our relationship. But that would be my fault because I told him he can. I trusted him and the girl was also my friend. Also because it was my first relationship and I honestly didn't know if I had any say in it. After a couple months, I find out he's been doing some sly stuff with someone else. "A" will be the friend he sleeps over at and "B" will be the girl he's been lying to me about. So I tell him, "You know what. Drop B and stop sleeping over at A's house if you still want to be with me." He drops B, but he still sleeps over at A's house. But now, he doesn't tell me where he's going or where he was. Only when I ask him if he's home, he'll say no, and I'll guess correctly that he was over there. It could be cause he doesn't want me to get upset over it but still. Before me and him decided to be together, he liked her but decided to be friends instead. And we talked while we were a little tipsy, he said he doesn't have to worry about him and A. That he'll never sleep with her. What should I do?

[vmw2008]

No, I would not be OK with it unless this girl was a relative or some other very special circumstance. What's the point of doing that? What's the point of having a girlfriend if you're going to sleep over with other women? It's a precursor to cheating in my opinion, especially since they were more than likely sleeping in the same bed.

If you ever want to know if something is "OK" to accept or not, switch the situation around. See if your boyfriend would be OK with you sleeping over at another guy's house a few times, and even lying to him about one of them. I would bet my life he would never allow you to do this and would have dumped you had you done it once, regardless if he thought it was OK for him to do it or not. If a double standard like this arises in your relationship, you know you're being taken advantage of.

[joe_soapus]

Young guys are often ruled by their hormones. He probably likes you both a lot and would love to have sex with both of you. He's proved that he's having difficulty being honest and straight -- so don't expect that characteristic to change anytime soon. Ask yourself what you want right now. If it's exclusivity then I think you're with the wrong guy. If it's friendship and fun, then you might be in the right place.

[vmw2008]

I believe that young people in general are ruled by their hormones, not just men, but women will often put up with a lot more in order to keep a relationship. If less women tolerated this kind of behavior and was quicker to dump a guy for something like this, I'd bet even the young ones would straighten up. Or at the very least not commit to a relationship until they're ready.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Good point, VMW. That's why, regardless of how often I get in fights over it, I let my religious upbringing hold so much sway over my decisions. Because I don't trust my hormones; they lie to me all the time and are never satisfied, and always looking for trouble.

Way I see it: If one tries and fails to be one's own master, best to choose one that can think straight. And hormones have a lousy track record at that.

[YourMotherIsMyLover]

Sounds like classic cheating behavior to me, or at least he's trying to get into girl A's panties. And sooner or later he will, the way they are going. If I were you I would just end it, it sounds to me like my dude wants an open relationship and you don't, therefore it can't work can it?

[Anonymous]

You have to decide if your ultimatum (and him ignoring part of it) was a dumpable offence.

Decide if you still trust A or not.

If she knows how you feel and still invites him over, then it's clear she doesn't respect you.

[Anonymous]

Why is he sleeping over at these girls home's?!

[Nicefuture]

Yes,I would.