Never wants a girlfriend again?

Question

Guys have you ever been so hurt by an ex girlfriend that you never wanted to have another girlfriend again?  even if you met someone that's great ? share your stories and how you overcame this..if you did. did any girl change your mind and you opened up to her ? how much time did it take? please share

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yep.

I was always shy, I had never before had a girlfriend. In high school, I was never asked to any dances, so I never went. In my health/sex-ed class, we did an exercise on personal ads. Only two guys in my class, "hot jocks," got responses from ALL of the girls in that class. Made me even more hopeless.

Several years later, still never having a girlfriend, I became close to a girl. Only to find out she used me/lead me on (or just lost interest in me, I don't know). We never became official, nor did we kiss, it was limited to hugs only. Anyways, I treated this girl like a princess, I thought that she had an interest in me, and then I had to move away for school. So we kept in touch via the internet. We talked, then bam, one day, she just stops talking to me out of the blue. Sometimes ignored my chats, or if I was lucky enough to talk to her, she would sign off on me-I view this as an equivalent of hanging up the phone on someone. I tried. Then one day, I achieved a literal nirvana, and stopped trying.

I was so down, that I thought that relationships were one big, over-played joke (yes, a joke). In fact, I thought that I was destined to live alone. I just didn't care anymore. Stopped thinking about relationships and a future, after all, I felt that all girls just sucked.

Several months later, I make friends with a girl. I was not interested in a relationship, we were just friends. I began to notice after a while, that she seemed to show signs that she liked me more than just a friend. I "risked" it, but cautiously did so, and became official. Turns out, she is everything I ever wanted, and she has changed my outlook.

As for the girl that lead me on; this is interesting. After a month of zero communication, she sends me app invites on Facebook (before I removed her as a friend). I don't respond. A month later, she tags me in a picture of her birthday cake. I don't respond. Then finally, after I became official with the girl I am with now, she (the girl that used me) tries to talk to me. She changed her relationship status as "looking for a relationship," and this was a month before Valentine's day. I kept the conversation cold, and made it clear that I could care less about her anymore. I returned her poison, and signed off on her. I later deleted her as a friend. In conclusion, it felt wonderful to be an asshole to her; I wish her luck finding anybody that wants to deal with her crap.

Back to the topic, the current girl I am with is wonderful. Similar to the old saying, I wasn't looking for love, but it sure found us (her and I). As for time, it took several months for me to gain trust in her, and to open up. There is nothing more that I could ever ask for, and I have never been so happy in my life.

danielm2009uk · Accepted Answer

I've never been hurt by a girl, but I always seem to hurt girls no matter what I do. I do try my absolute best, but one slip up and it feels like I have commited the worlds worst crime.

I've never ever been good boyfriend material for any girl and I have spent years convincing myself I don't need a girlfriend. I've even tried looking for methods to suppress all emotions and feelings and also getting castrated (extreme I know) because I just really do not want to go through another failed relationship.

I am currently with a girl because I thought I would give it one more shot, but already things are not going to their best. I've been honest as I can be (bar one or two lies that were protecting her from my pain). I told her about my past and why I am so negative and already I can see and feel a change in her. I'm just waiting for the inevitable dumping to come.

If it does, I will continue my search for trying to shut down my feelings because I really don't want them and I don't want to have to feel anymore I'd rather be empty and nothing.

A-R-Norman · Accepted Answer

I think all of us who have been hurt say "NEVER AGAIN" but when e we grow pass the pain we take what we can from the experience and try not to make the same mistakes again. Of course, many of us find ourselves in a pattern of behavior that drive us to make harmful choices and we tend to blame the other sex--not a smart move.

Relationships are training for when the real thing comes along--if we look at failed relationships like learning opportunities then we can take with it the skills to form a lasting loving bond when the right person comes along.

RoryS · Answer

Some guys can go from relationship to relationship in succession. Other guys need a few months to 6 months... Some need a Years time. Others have enough going on that the last break up which was semi bitter is catalyst enough to disregard girls for a few years and that turned into 12 years as of March may 2nd 2014. An ex broke up with me after an LDR, and that was that... We get back together a few months later... And after not wanting to engage in the foul language that is 'sex talk' it was concluded a second time. Then came the emails of her making out with other guys... Fine with me.  At that point I studied electronics, and traveled, worked the family property and supported my nieces and nephews. Living in Utah, the LDS neighbors and community folks would advocate far beyond reasonable boundaries to get back out there. This was counter productive and affirmed by stance to stay uninvolved.  Personal hobbies and an increased income occupied the remainder of my 20s. As a 34 year old male... I can validate that some decent looking heterosexual guys mean and live up to "never again" with absolute resolve.

solemn · Answer

I went threw a lot of effort getting this one girl to like me,This was someone I really really liked. After a long time of trying I finally asked her out. She valued our friendship and didn't want to lose me as a friend in the possibility of us breaking up. This alone kinda crushed and devastated me, I still feel pain and this happened a few days ago lets just say its made me sick to my stomach.

This event really makes me wonder if going threw all that trouble just to be rejected is really worth it :(

EddyMetal · Answer

Not by a girlfriend, but by girls for sure. Now I hate women in general. I don't want to put up with their sh*t.

lefthand · Answer

A few times but the horny always came back and convinced me to give women another chance.

Never wants a girlfriend again?

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