Ultimatum: Dream Girl or Dream Job?

Question

A few months ago, I moved to Vancouver to pursue my studies and it was very hard as I was in a relationship with my dream girl.

I'm at a situation right now where I'm studying and working almost 10-12 hours a day and I get very little time for much else.

I'm doing Game Design and I love it so much and I look forward to working in a dream company like Ubisoft etc. This takes up most of my time.

Due to this, my girlfriend is very unhappy and complains that I've lost interest in her when in fact, I'm doing the best I can.

Her complaints, later went on to became fights and now I made a decision. I told her that we need a break and that I need to focus on my studies right now and that I eventually want to be with her, but just now. She got really mad and put forth an ultimatum saying that if we take a break, she might move on and that I have to choose between : 1. being with her now. (which would mean not focussing on my studies). or 2. losing her forever.

I am so stuck. What do I do?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

WOMEN DO THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME.

God they suck. They're just awful.

The most important thing to women is ATTENTION. They are all attention whores. Why the f*** do you think they goto clubs and stand around and get ogled by men they don't even like?

Why do you think they want to get with someone famous? (its not all about the money)

Why do you think they get with bad boys? So that ALL of their girlfriends and everyone can pay attention to her and keep telling her how bad she is for her and create drama so people will pay attention to her.

The NEXT most important thing to women is MONEY/ derived from ambition.

However, women can't HELP but try and change a man by nagging and getting involved with his life they THINK they are trying to help and be involved. "oh we need to work through this "together."

So what do they do? They complain about every little thing a man does in his life to get him to change. (for the better?- nope)

The ironic thing is a man in marriage will eventually break down and cave into the woman's demands (unless he's super manly and alpha, which is almost never the case) because he wants to be "nice" and accommodate her.

So he changes his behavior for HER.

But funny thing is when he changes everything about himself for HER sake suddenly she's no longer attracted to him and withdraws sexually. And she doesn't KNOW WHY!

(because they're f***ing stupid. that's why)

Its because SHES THE MAN now. He's become beta and he's doing what SHE says and changed him into the "nice guy" who supplicates to women. (and you KNOW how hot "nice guys" are to women! oh they get wet for the nice guys now don't they?)

And how DARE YOU try and ask for sex when she's not turned on by you! I don't give a sh*t if you moved mountians for her and changed everything abotu who you are and gave up your job just for HER.

Doesnt matter, because sex should NEVER be an obligation!- isn't that nice?

You know what's ironic?

If you left your dream job, and became an unemployed bum because you gave up your dream and now work at McDonalds, she's going to hate you for not being ambitious.

Shes attracted to you because you are a man who is pursuing your dream and you have a purpose in life.

If you left, she would no longer be attracted to you, because of that and because she's now the alpha and you are the beta.

And women want a man who is alpha.

It will all be HER Fault, and she will blame it on you. (because she's not attracted to you anymore and it couldn't be anything SHE did, NO WAY!.. not possible.)

Good luck with that.

GOd damn I hate women.

Glad I'm gay.

I take estrogen blocker not because I'm trying to gain muscle because I hate women.

rambunctious69 · Accepted Answer

I think, from you have mentioned above, that you've come really far in your studies and career and this job opportunity would have a huge impact in establishing a solid career.

I was in a similar position, and unfortunately lost the girl after choosing my career (but hoping that she would follow me). I know have a stable life, with a good job that I enjoy doing every day. I get headhunters looking for me.

If you feel serious about this girl, maybe an engagement would allow her to believe that you are choosing the career with the best intentions for the future of the relationship.

Don't miss a great opportunity because you would then wonder for the rest of your life "What if"

justjasmine · Accepted Answer

Its simple, if the tables were turned and she was the one working all the time, would you make her choose?

When a woman gets jealous over a job, you might want to consider sticking with the job. Tell her you love her and you don't want to see her be with someone else right now, but if that's what she is telling you, then she has to do what she has to do.

In the end, you are doing something you love and in order to succeed you have to put in the hours, the competition for your line of work is difficult there are a lot of people doing what you are doing and the ones that play and do not work, will not succeed like you will.

You are still at an age, were you can get your foot in the door then have the finances to have a life, things and family. If you have a good job, you will feel great about your decisions. But don't confuse a career with true love, love is not always the easiest thing to find. Talk to her about setting aside time for just her, you can take one or 2 nights off a week to take her out to dinner, watch a movie at home something. If that doesn't cut it for her, then you need to let her go. If she is complaining now, she will complain later and trust me that doesn't work when bills need to be paid and things need to be purchased.

Always remember, being supported by the one you love is best and you need to try and support her, working together it will make you stronger or not. But don't give into the make a choice or else, this is threat and loved ones should not make threats or make us choose!

PoeticNinja · Accepted Answer

Your dream job. No question.

She's not being very understanding of what you want in your life and not willing to support it.

It's obvious because she's throwing an ultimatum at you. That's not fair.

Break up, she'll find someone who can devote more time to her because what you're doing (even though you're trying the best you can) is not enough for her.

She needs to understand that this will cross roads in relationships. It happens.

harveykinkle · Accepted Answer

You need to choose the career and if she loves you enough she should understand. The only ones worth giving up things for are the ones who would never ask you to do it in the first place.

Build yourself up first, then seek a relationship because your career is guaranteed to be more long lasting than a relationship.

Also, what if you choose her and later start resenting her for making you choose? That won't be beneficial to the relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

If she doesn't support your dream, then she isn't the one for you. You can have both your dream job, and find a woman that loves, and accepts your career, if you pick your job. All you would need is a different woman. If you pick the girl, then you will never have your dream job, and she might leave you later on anyway. I would say the choice is pretty clear.

Anonymous · Answer

Choose your studies.

Your relationship with this girl is already dysfunctional. You may think this girl is your 'dream girl'. But there are many women out there who are beautiful inside and out.

I'm sure this girl of yours would be complaining if you WEREN'T working hard enough. You can't win with somebody like her.

Tell her you're breaking up with her. That might scare some sense into her.

bigmike16 · Answer

Pick the job and its weird how woman are always like, "I want a guy that has ambition and goals in life". What I don't get  is when the guy is trying to achieve his goal by getting the dream job and the woman tears it all down. Sounds like the girlfriend needs to get a job unless she does have one.

toulouse · Answer

JOB. i thought this was about moving toChina while she's in Arizona or something. youre working you're busy. if she can't handle it  dump her.

MorbidPrincess94 · Answer

You better choose your studies. She should understand how much your job is important to you.

Anonymous · Answer

Go for the dream job. Girls will come later.

Ultimatum: Dream Girl or Dream Job?

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