Shy girls. how long do you crush on a guy for?

[Anonymous]

I'm trying to understand my time window with shy girls better. My last girlfriend was shy and I know in the beginning she was good with week or two week long breaks in between email responses (our email roster was posted so I chose to be more unassuming), since she was anxious and wasn't sure if I was for real about liking her at first. Is this true for most shy girls? And what are the usual times you hold interest in the following situations:

1.If you're sure he likes you back but he hasn't asked you out yet?

2. If he flirts with you all the time.

3. If he flirts with you once in a while.

4. If he barely talks to you.

Updates

+1 y

My problem is opposite of most guys. I'm warm, sincere and too charming so even outgoing girls get dumbstruck, blush and run off to regroup. For shy girls its even worse.


My other problem is that its always girls in class or at work that I end up liking and that end up liking me. I'm oblivious to the hints they send to begin with since I get so absorbed in the class or the job. Then I feel like now isn't the time to tone myself down if there ever was a time.

[CarrieDawn]

1. If I know he likes me but doesn't make a move, I'm sure I could hold interest for as long as he was still trying to flirt with me and see me (so maybe around a month or two) but my main concern there would be more just getting frustrated of why he won't just ask me out yet? Especially if he KNOWS I know he likes me. I feel like I would start getting suspicious of why he won't make a move. Cause sometimes it's a sign of commitment issues..

2. I will flirt back a little for about as long as he does, but this cannot hold my interest for too long, especially if I have another guy interested in me. I'd say 3 weeks or until something else comes along.

3. This is more frustrating, a guy like this I probably wouldn't be focused solely on. Like when I'm with him I might get some butterflies but if he barely flirts with me I probably won't think about him much when I'm not with him. I'd say 1-2 weeks.

4. How purposeful is the barely talking? Is it like you don't get a chance to talk, or like he's practically avoiding me? Either way I wouldn't hold an interest for long, I'd keep my mind open to someone else.

Obviously it depends on the guy, some I can fall for a bit harder than others but this is the general meet someone and have an interest in them situation.

Long answer short, the amount of time I hold a relationship interest in someone (given they have not made a move yet) is typically until some other guys come along, which is bound to happen sooner or later.

[Asker]

Thanks for the detailed responses. My situation is the girl and I have a lot in common. It's class. She was dropping me hints for like a month but because I'm really passionate about the class I was oblivious. She'd do things like lean into my space, drop her bookbag and purse on my desk instead of hers, laugh when I'd get mad and cuss at something. Over time I saw how smart, bold and passionate she was too. I didn't think she liked me because she never made eye contact in class.

[Asker]

At a certain point I realized I liked her a lot and wanted to talk to her. She made up some reason to talk to me during class and a few days later I walked past her outside of class and smiled and looked at her like I was falling in love right there. She grasped her books tight to her body, looked down real quick and her eyes swept back and forth as she blushed and grinned. Then I realized "wait maybe she's noticed me all this time."

[Asker]

The problem is the professor was strict and she sat in front so I couldn't talk to her. I got sick and had to drop the class mid-semester. I've only seen her once since. She looked at me with 4 quick glances. I called to her to wait and walk with me when she was ahead of me. She did. She was late for class (our class) when she was far off I yelled bye with people around. She liked that-smiled big. Told her she's the smartest also . That was 2 weeks ago. How much time I got? I never see her.

[CarrieDawn]

I can't say for sure how much time you have...because you never know when she'll just get frustrated and move on or meet a different guy. I mean, she could meet someone else tomorrow and think about it in her mind that if you don't make a move, she'd rather move on to this guy. So, what I suggest is just try to contact her as soon as you can. Whether text, Facebook, whatever, just find her and tell her you miss seeing her, maybe she can get some coffee with you sometime soon? Good luck (:

[CarrieDawn]

This way even if you don't see her, she knows you're interested in her back and she won't be so quick to move on.

[Iknowuwantthis]

1. If I know for sure the guy has a crush on me, I will keep crushing on him back as long as he keeps showing interest in me.. like talking to me, flirting with me, and stuff even if I'm socially incapable to do the same back lol :(

2. Depends.. if he's a flirt and he's like that with every girl, I might have a small crush for a few weeks then get over it because I'm nobody special. if I'm the only girl I know of he's flirting with, I will have a crush on him as long as he's flirting with me

3. I'd get mixed feelings and have an internal battle inside of me. On those days he isn't paying much attention to me, I decide I don't like him that much anyway. Then as soon as he starts paying attention to me, I change my mind. If it goes on for a loong time with no progress, I will eventually get over it because I'll finally realize much later I'm nobody special

4. I wouldn't focus too much on a guy like this.. I guess I'll be infatuated for a few days but if we aren't talking, I'm obviously going to loose all hope of ever going anywhere with him. my attraction will be there, but not my attention (as much)

[Asker]

This is interesting. Do you get hard on yourself when you think you aren't giving him enough green lights back? I dated a shy girl who, once we got serious (took a lot of persistence), apologized over and over again to me for being so flighty.

[Asker]

For having been so flighty.

[Iknowuwantthis]

Yeah omg I get so mad at myself when I'm not showing enough interest. For example: I tell myself "when I see him in the halls, I will say hi!" then I see him in the hall, make eye contact, and don't end up saying hi. I beat myself up for it and I'm thinking "crap, it happened too fast STUPID now he thinks you don't wanna talk to him"

Stuff like that. It sucks. -_- And I over think alot.

[Anonymous]

there is no hard and fast rule. if I am sure he likes me back a longgggg time or flirts with me a lot a long time too. if he paid me little attention would probably get over it faster.

[Asker]

That's interesting. I'm sensing she likes me a lot because she basically had to hit me over the head until I noticed her. So I'm hoping now that she will be patient a little while longer. I have noticed her and shown her I'll put myself out there just to talk to her. I don't hide the fact I like her. We held eye contact the longest I've held ever (girlfriends included). She liked that 10 second eye contact moment, my mouth dropped open slightly. She got really hyperactive for the rest of class.

[Asker]

Like I saw her look at my mouth when it dropped open and then she whipped back around and was acting excitable for the rest of class.