Does it automatically mean I'm friend-zoned when a girl uses the word FRIEND to describe your relationship, even when there has been obvious flirting?

[therealaccount]

Met this girl Jane recently, things were going well, texting/flirting a ton and getting into the habit of wishing each other goodnight/sleep tight/sweet dreams fairly regularly. Thought all was well.

Today, we are talking via text, having a really good personal conversation and REALLY opening up to each other saying things like "we know we're here for each other", "that's awesome that you have a friend you can talk to, and now that we've talked about it you have me as well", giving "hugs" and stuff like that... anyways, at one point in the conversation we were talking about past relationship things and she says "well, when the right person comes along it'll be alright" as well as THIS doozie "part of being FRIENDS is being able to talk about this stuff"... now, I'm not sure if I'm over-thinking it by looking at the word FRIENDS but that hit me as a BAD BAD thing... am I focusing on that too much? AHHH, don't know what to think...

[InspiringDeeply]

To me when a girl says friends, it doesn't mean that you don't have a chance.
But if she uses the word frequently to describe you as a friend- then yes. You are a friend.
Sometimes when I'm scared that a guy doesn't feel the same way about me in the past, I have used the word friend to describe our relationship. I don't like to sound to clingy or jumping forward head first into things.
You'll never know unless you are straight up honest with her and describe where YOU are hoping the relationship will lead. This doesn't mean you should be like "Hey, yo, you need to tell me you like me or not- or I'm gonna drop you." But just tell her that you have feelings for her and hope the relationship will progress further on her terms. Because one person can't decide a relationship.

[smalls1995]

Who said, "you have me as well." ? If you said that, it sounds like you're just a friend because you were referring to another friend. Either way, make it known you're interested now because it will just get more awkward down the road. I had to reject a guy after a year and that was a painful experience! I wish he had told me in the first place even if I showed no signs of interest.

[curiousityhelpskitty]

You ovi like her, you should ask her how she feels about you. But it seems like she just likes u as a friend or maybe she's hiding her feelings cause she thinks you just see da relationship only on friendship levels. Ask her :)

[Anonymous]

bro, it means she's put a clear line between you and her. you got to use your intuition. when you said she said "well, when the right person comes along it'll be alright" it means she open to a relationship in general but not too much hope.

about the FRIENDS part she could be just making a simple lie so the conversation doesn't go awkward.

best bet you just weigh this off probability and go in that direction. you gotta weigh the signal which is stronger. if you think she calling you FRIEND zeroes out your chances, then she wouldn't be on the phone with you in the first place. you seem to be in her attention.

[ValleyofDrakes]

Yes. That is a blatant attempt to put you there. You can easily get out by showing a display of interest beyond flirting. Like hand holding or kissing.

[Anonymous]

They often do use the word friend to let a guy know they aren't interested, but not always. "well, when the right person comes along it'll be alright" tells me she is telling you she isn't the right person for you.

[Prof_Don]

Make a bold move on her... tell her that u want to be more than friends , and then ask her out on a date.

Passivity is your worst enemy... make a move NOW!

[justbeinghonest]

How is it that I got everyone's hate and you basically gave the same advice smh

[Prof_Don]

@justbeinghonest maybe the idea of kissing her is TOO bold of a move for some ppl; I was just saying ask her out. You want him to be super aggressive! :-P

[Prof_Don]

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1137272-why-do-many-people-think-that-sex-is-an-absolute-necessity-to

@justbeinghonest

On that question above... same thing happened to me.

I gave the same advice other guys did... but because of my powerful word choice the asker went in on me and got all personal. :-P

Strangely this site is condoning cyber bulling, because her obvious antagonistic and offensive comments (two reasons to report things said here) are still up after 72+ hours (and I messaged the admins and an Uber Mod).

*shrugs*

[justbeinghonest]

Yeah I know. It all comes down to if people like you or not.

[harakiri]

yeah... she friend-zoned ya. make a play for more or abandon this fish.

[ollymay123]

No, you are not overthinking. Girls use the word "friends" to imply that that's what you are to them.

[justbeinghonest]

Just kiss her and get out of the friendzone in case you are in it. Grow a pair !!

[ThinkPrettyThoughts]

Just kiss her and get her out of the friendzone in case you are in it? Sexual harassment, anyone? This is awful advice. Don't follow it unless you want to register as a sex offender.

[been_waiting]

Um if she she doesn't like him, a kiss won't change that.

[justbeinghonest]

Awful advice? To kiss someone that already flirts with him?
So what do you just coordinate kisses? Can I kiss you? Turn off!!

[justbeinghonest]

@ThinkPrettyThoughts you have no advice at all so I can see why you would think that kissing someone would be a bad idea..

[ThinkPrettyThoughts]

My advice is to not follow your advice. Your advice is awful. You can't kiss someone out of a friendzone. Just because she's ambiguously flirting with him doesn't mean she wants anything more. Have you kissed, or wanted to be kissed by every single guy you've harmlessly flirted with? Also, there's nothing wrong with asking for permission before a kiss, especially if it's a first kiss. It's respectful. How can you be in your late 20's and not know this? You've got some catching up to do! :P

[justbeinghonest]

LMFAO who asks for permission for a kiss?

[Azara]

i think outs awesome being asked. super respectful and sweet and helps develop trust big time.

[justbeinghonest]

Or shows that you're a pussy

[Anonymous]

Remember that people MARRY their best friends (guys) not some stranger on the street. so do not take it to heart.

[been_waiting]

I think she was trying to make it clear that she only sees you as a friend. :/

[justaregularguyy]

yeah man.. If she uses the friend word a lot you have no chance. It always happens to me.