I told him I had feelings for him...

[sassygal4]

We've been friends for years and we've been talking a lot more for a year now. Keep in mind he has a girlfriend. We're really open with each other. We've talked about being attracted to each other and how cool we think each other is, but we've never even come close to doing anything. He's always told me how much he values my friendship and how much he respects me. I've always wondered if he had feelings for me because he's always talking to me and sometimes he really opens up and we have deep conversations.

Well today I told him I was starting to develop feelings for him and we couldn't continue to be friends because it was only going to get worse. He tells me he's sorry to be losing a friend, but he understands that's how it has to be. I told him he didn't know how bad it really hurt me. He said he's sure he doesn't, but it's for the best. Finally, I tell him that he was never supposed to be able to hurt me, but that I'd get over it and bye. He responds with a "bye..."

I feel like he responded so casually to me telling him I have feelings for him. This is the guy who earlier this week told me that even though he's attracted to me and he knows nothing will come of it, he's willing to stay my friend because I really am cool, fun and interesting to talk to. I didn't expect him to tell me he had feelings for me, especially since he has a gf, but that response seemed so cold to me. Is this normal or was I expecting too much from him?

Typical guy response.

You deserved a better response than that.

He could be in shock and trying to play it cool.

Not sure.

Updates

+1 y

So we talked and he said he was ok with ending the friendship only because I felt we needed to, but then he still asked me if I still wanted to have sex with him and that sex is rarely, if ever, just sex. What does that mean?

[meplusabeemer]

He might have been a little bit shocked by the news. In addition, he was hurt like you were over losing a friend. He probably had a swirl of emotions going on and didn't really know what to say. I don't think he wanted to say anything else to increase the pain you already felt. Yes, you perceived it as "cold" but try to think of how he might have been feeling too. I don't think he meant it in a negative way.

[sassygal4]

Yeah, maybe you're right. I know he'd never want me to be hurt especially by him.

[BlondeBabyGirl44]

In my opinion I think he was shocked and yet he knew there would be nothing to it so it's half and half. Honestly to me it's normal cause I use to feel more for a friend and were still really good friends now and I think us girls sometimes ask to much from some guys. Hopes this helps

[Kodabear1025]

I recently told a guy that i like him and he told me that he has been in a relationship for 20 years and he is going back to his province to try to fix the past. He wishes me the very best. However when someone would compliment the two of us and ask if I was his girlfriend, he would acknowledge and would smile back at me. Do you think he has feelings for me?

[andrew123]

"he knows nothing will come of it" that was it.

[sassygal4]

Only because he has a girlfriend and he knows that. We've talked about it before. If he didn't have a girlfriend, then things would be very different. I still think it was a little cold from someone who supposedly values my friendship so much.