Guys, how much do you text your female friends?

[Anonymous]

I found out that my boyfriend is texting his female friend. They have known each other for a while and I have a feeling that they might had slept together at some point in the past. When I asked him , he denied.
But the real problem is, they text all the time. I found out that they text every day for a several hours while at work. I also found out that he told her not to text him while he's with me.
I am worried that they're having an emotional affair. When you talk to someone for several hours each day, you will eventually develop feelings, am I wrong?
So guys how much do you text your female friends and how often? I think that texting every day for several hours is too much especially with "just a friend".

[kittenforever]

The red flag here is that he told her not to text him while he's with you. If he has nothing to hide then it shouldn't be a problem if she texts when you two are hanging out. Several hours seems a bit excessive. My ex had several female friends that he knew for years and he didn't text them everyday and they were short conversations. The guys I know aren't big texters unless it's with their girlfriends or someone they're interested in.

Personally, I would voice your concern in a way that doesn't make it about you. I would say "I'm a little concerned that you're texting all day at work because it seems it would be hard to get work done. I just don't want you to end up getting in trouble with your boss." That's where you add in that it seems odd that he's texting her so much and only doing it at work and not around you. It will seem like you're just concerned about his job and brought her up as an afterthought.

[Anonymous]

I think this guy might be into his female friend. they probably did have relations in the past. only kids \teens do that the text their female friend a lot not adults. in high school many people did this when they were in relationships. but that was high school. i was friends with two guys they texted me multiple times and they had girlfriends. but it was just high school. no grown man should be talking to another female like that. tell him off that's so disrespectful to you. u need to say something asap.

[Asker]

My boyfriend is 30 years old. Are you saying at his age he shouldn't be texting that much?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course.30 years old many men who are in a relationship. only texts his guy friends to hangout.. not texting his female friend. before u guys made it official did he text u a lot?

[Asker]

We texted but I don't think we texted that much. I have a job where I can't be on the personal phone but apparently this girl can since they text all day long.
I'm starting to think that he's having an emotional relationship with her. Am I overeacting?

[Opinion Owner]

Your not overrating this isn't fair to you. he could be having an emotional relationship with her and a physical relationship with you. many do this and they don't care. sit him down and ask him what's going on. tell him he should be doing this to u you guys are 30 year old adults not little kids does he think he's in high school. he's so immature. if not why don't you start texting a friend a lot. see his reaction?

[Asker]

What's worst is that they kept their texting a secret until I found out. They had a rule not to text over the weekend when he's with me and not in the evening when we sometimes hang out.

[Opinion Owner]

Yea that's ridiculous tell him off he's too grown to be doing that.

[ElijahWolf]

Lmao both of you are hillarious..

[Opinion Owner]

@ElijahWolf your 17 years old though lol😂😂😂😂. this guy is a grown ass man

[Anonymous]

If he texts them more than texting to you then its a problem :D
and actually i dont believe in friendship between men and women. If they started to be such close friends it means someone of them had to develop feelings. Thats from my experience. Normal guys friend, who want to chat with me for hours are the ones who have a crush on me, not because they are bored :D You should talk with him

[redeyemindtricks]

If he's secretive about it, you got issues.

If not, the boy needs to do more productive things with his life. LOL

[MetalMan216]

Most of my friends that I am close to, or speak to on a regular basis are female. Whenever I end up dating someone new, I let them know beforehand, in case it's an issue, or have them meet and shit so they can know each other, if that makes it more comfortable. For what it's worth, most of said friends have boyfriends, and I usually offer to meet them or hang out or whatever to clear the air if needed.

[godfatherfan]

Let me say it for the 1000000000000000000000000000000000x
WOMEN DO NOT HAVE STRAIGHT MALE FRIENDS.
got it?
the only reason we are friendly is to keep them on our radar. if we both end up single at some point maybe we get them as a girlfriend or at the very least, sex or a blow job.
again...
MEN AND WOMENS ARE NOT FRIENDS, ONLY FRIENDLY

[godfatherfan]

WOMENS? typo... WOMEN

[Asker]

Amen!! Speaking from experience, they only guys I was friends with were those who were into me. That's why I'm sceptical of my boyfriend's friendship with this girl

[girlandhermusic]

So any guy friend I have likes me?

[godfatherfan]

@girlandhermusic 100% guarenteed all of them. If they are straight they at least want to have sex. They might want a relationship. A guy will stay on a woman's radar so that in case both of them are single at the same time, there is a chance for something to happen.

[girlandhermusic]

That's unfortunate. But don't they just want to flirt with a girl just because their guys? If they wanted her they could just ask her out. I used to have a lot of guy friends but I only have two now. I have a lot of fun with them but I don't like them.

[godfatherfan]

@girlandhermusic If they are in relationships, and if they aren't cheating pieces of shit, then they are safe enough. But I will stand by it until I die... if you are both single, and you offer any kind of sex, you can bet they accept. Some might only want that, some might want a relationship with you. but sex is on the mind. There is no other reason for a guy to be "friends" with a woman. Women don't understand men at all, we sure as hell don't understand how women think. If your not in a relationship or having sex, there is no reason.
Now, if it is a group thing, that is very different. because they are in relationships. But then your not really "friends" your just "friendly". I am always friendly to women. But I am talking the truest definition of the word "friend".

[Asker]

I agree 100%. I used to be "friends" with a guy. As soon I started dating someone else, he disappeared.
Never heard from him again. Some friend he was!

[AleDeEurope]

Quite a lot, but with a few only. I understand why you're worried, makes sense, but you gotta trust him, it's just texting, and if he really likes you, he won't develop feelings for her.
I think he told her not to text him while with you so that she won't bother you guys, which means he's not putting her before you.

As long as the conversations stay friendly, you shouldn't worry, just trust him.

[Asker]

If it's just friendly, why did they keep it as a secret?

[AleDeEurope]

You didn't say that, so that may change things now. Now you should be worried.
But wait, was it a secret, or did he think it wasn't something he should mention? Like, when you asked, did he lie about it?

[Asker]

I found out by a total accident that he's texting with her and that they have a rule of only texting while he's away from me.
They also share personal photos via email, send each other songs to listen to, etc

[AleDeEurope]

That seems like a lot of contact. Were they like this before your relationship? Also, do you notice any sort of flirting between them, or just from her?

[Asker]

They compliment each other like: you're so smart, you're awesome, I love when you text me.
They laugh at each other jokes, share childhood stories, talk about their interests. What do you think?

[Asker]

Yes, they have been like that for a while, even before we met

[AleDeEurope]

Maybe they see each other like brother and sister? Though you suspect they've slept together, even though he denied it.
Talk to him about it, tell him it makes you uncomfortable. It is weird, given that he has a girlfriend and that they talk while at work.
Has he ever presented you to her in person? Have you ever hanged out together? Does he hang out with her all by himself?

[Asker]

I never met her. They used to hang out a lot but now I think they see each other a few times a month. He says she's just a friend but I think there are too many secrets for just being friends.
Also I saw her picture and she's very good looking. It made think that he must be attracted to her

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, you definitely gotta talk to him about all this and explain how you feel, cause I do agree there are too many secrets for just a friend.

[SoWhAt249]

I'm a very shy person and don't usually start a conversation or texting until a girl starts... But if it's like you say so (texting for hours) then maybe you should check out what kind of girl he's texting... Was this happening before? Have you ever broken up? Does he act different when other girls are around him?

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

not very often, but i don't text people. you aren't the only girl in his life. not gonna lie, but i can't stand girls like you. like, you might be a great girl and i have nothing against you personally, but he said no and that's his friend. it's not a big deal and you're making it into a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Depends on friend. With closer friends as much as I can if we can't hangout. With other friends only some important stuff.
Feelings - yes; but I doubt it'll be romantic feelings. More like friendly.
However, several hours a day and that also while working is bit too much and maybe worrisome.

[Opinion Owner]

I just checked your comments on other answers and now I've to say that you definitely need to talk to him.
From your description I thought he's just a close friend with that woman. However after reading that they have a rule and he tried to keep it secret; I must say that it's fishy.
If I had a close female friend then I don't hide and certainly don't hide if that friend is sister like.

I have few friends like that. We're very close and outsider people get wrong idea. But it's very clear to our families, their husbands/BFs and everyone else related that we're like siblings.

Anyway your BF's hiding... so just ask him ^^

[Sexualchrist]

As soon as I get a female friend's number, I incessantly text her for nudes and when they block me I get a new phone and start over.

[jacquesvol]

I'll rather mail them.
The only one I text sometimes is our daughter in law, for practical purposes like family reunions.

[pervertedjester]

I always text my female friends because they're friends.

[ElijahWolf]

Ask him about it.. I text a lot of FRIENDS (It doesn't matter if they're a girl or a guy if Im in a serious relationship)

[admles]

Only when I have a specific question to ask, or to reply to a specific question.

Texting is not for conversation in my books.

[SuicidalTeen]

Also maybe they're cousins

[Anonymous]

So, should I not be talking to a married woman?

[MythArrow]

5-10 text in a day.

[Anonymous]

not at all