Do girls ever get swept off their feet anymore?

[Anonymous]

This guy I really like, who knows I like him, but he is just so shy about it. And it got me thinking - Do guys ever do anything dramatic or impulsive to sweep a girl off her feet anymore? Or is it just a myth that doesn't happen much and never in fact really did happen? Guys really have no idea the power they have over a woman when she likes them. They are frequently shy about it and they have no idea how they could just sweep her totally off her feet.

I mean, a woman wants to feel feminine right? And a man wants to feel masculine - and this totally achieves both. So why doesn't it happen anymore? (or did it ever happen?)

[Killfest400]

Did it ever happen? I'm sure it's happened plenty, and I'm sure it still happens now, but I think the frequency of it is overestimated. There wasn't ever a sudden dividing line between "majority of men sweep women off their feet" and "men just don't bother anymore". The decrease was gradual, and it was probably never a huge thing in the first place.

First of all, as Simulacrum said, the women of today put up too many barriers for it to be effective. Basically, anything I could do that would be akin to sweeping her off of her feet would come across as "I'm doing this to get in your pants and leave you". Is it a justified barrier? Somewhat, but it blocks as many good guys as it does players. More often than not, attempting to sweep a girl off of her feet is just wasted effort. It's showing too much interest, too fast, (most likely) costs money, and it has to avoid the "getting in her pants" barrier. And this is all if she actually is interested in you in the first place, which brings me to...

Most of the time, men don't know when a woman is interested. Most women are not open at all about their attractions (to males, anyway, they'll talk it up with female friends), so the power you claim we have over a woman that likes us is only usable if we ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT IT. This "I looked at him and flipped my hair, why hasn't he noticed me" crap doesn't say anything. When I was dating my ex, I did things similar to this a lot, but only after we actually started dating. I knew that the effort would be appreciated, so it was worth doing. Most of the time, attempting to court a girl is a shot in the dark, so any good opportunities for us are usually lost.

Finally, in the era of modern dating, such gestures usually go unappreciated. The "strong, independent woman" of today generally approaches dating in a much different fashion than women did 50 years ago. In courting, too many women today follow the "get free dinners/drinks from guys, maybe try to get with the bad boy with a soft side, repeat until age 30" path. Sweeping girls like that off of their feet is beyond wasted effort- they don't respond to romance. Some girls appreciate it, but rather than realizing what they have going for them, they just increase their standards (you have to top your efforts from last night if you're going to keep me). Finding a girl who actually responds to (and appreciates) romance AND can reciprocate with it is the key. I'd be happy to give my all for a girl I like, but if I'm walking a one-way street, then I have no reason to give my anything for her.

[Rahim517]

Women have put a stop to most of this behavior. The simple fact is, most women today view romantic gestures from men as needy and/or a sign of weakness. The modern female psyche, twisted as it is by the pervasiveness of mass media, mostly yearns for men who display one of the markers of hypermasculinity like fame, wealth, outstanding athletic ability, "alpha" behavior, etc. They just aren't into guys who make the kinds of overtly romantic gestures that grace the novels of D.H. Lawrence and Jane Austen.

In my personal experience, I got heavily ridiculed during my school years because I was always the guy who fell in love with a girl and attempted to woo her in the traditional, romantic way (flowers, poetry, love letters, etc.). My female classmates usually found this quite funny in a pathetic way and singled me out as a desperate guy who belonged on the "no-fly" list. Lesson learned. I don't do these kinds of things anymore and suspect that other guys don't because they learned the same painful lesson that I did.

Women like you are only now waking up to the fact that the romantic fairy tale they've dreamed of since girlhood is no longer a possibility. The painful irony is that women killed it. They killed it with feminism, entitlement, grrrl-power snark, and a host of other unbecoming attitudes that have developed in American women over the past 30 years. Most guys in their 20s and 30s wouldn’t dream of trying to sweep a woman off her feet simply because of bitter experience. The guys that still cling to this sadly antiquated notion are usually lonely, frustrated, and clueless about how to find a woman to even date, let alone marry.

I’m afraid that you’re just going to have to give up on your little-girl fantasy and meet this guy half way if you want anything to happen. Perhaps the current generation of women like yourself will realize the mess they’ve made of gender relations and teach their daughters to value things like romance, devotion, and loyalty in men. Otherwise, I think it’s only a matter of time before romantic love becomes just another vestige that gets sacrificed on the altar of inexorable “progress.”

[YellowSidewalkChalk]

depends on what you mean by that.

femininity and masculinity are just concepts created by different cultures. they don't mean anything especially important to me.

my definition of "sweep me off my feet" is to amaze me, make me fall completely in love with you, make me feel sexy, loved, important, on top of the world, and appreciated all at once. I like the typical gifts like flowers and candy (nom nom nom...) but I love creativity and when someone gives you something that they put some effort into. doesn't have to be anything crazy expensive (but I don't mind...lol) or anything but something with meaning and significance. not just an "i care" gift I want an "i care and something about this gift clearly reminded me of you, your soul, your energy, and my overwhelming love for everything that you are" gift. or something really intimate. a gift isn't always a material possession either. also it can be as simple as small but extremely thoughtful gestures on a daily basis that amount to me feeling totally swept off my feet. anyway that's what I like and my girlfriend does that for me all the time. she's not a dude but ya know. lol

ive had ex bfs who did the same though. not all of them but it has happened before and I try to do the same in return. its natural for me though.

[Asker]

I agree it doesn't have to be a material gift or anything dramatic as such, just something small they do that amazes you as to the strength of their feelings and makes you feel really special. This to me is sweeping a girl off her feet.

[toulouse]

idk what you mean by feminine and masculine & that concept is different and different cultures. if I like someone I blown say just by that fact & if its reciprocated that's awesome. I rarely like a guy if I do ithat in itself is very special and we are sharing that and its cool. I don't like things t be one sided I am extremely uncomfortable with that and if a guy is shy its endearing , if he's straightforward its endearing as well. Different guys just like different women are - different. There are approximately 6,000,000,000,000 people on planet earth. You will find a very large assortment of guys and girls & as far s human behavior goes, I don't think sweeping has died in any complete sense- Perhaps you haven't found the right broom?

[Thiezz]

6 trillion people on this earth already? Wow, I thought it was more like 6 to 7 billion.

[Asker]

If you don't know what I mean by feminine and masculine then this question is wasted on you! Which would explain why your answer makes no sense to me! Thanks for your input.

[toulouse]

Lol billion yea. mmm why are you getting mad at me because you don't want to put energy into defining your own question? I was not attacking you- I simply did not want to presume to know your mind.Wasted on me - hmm that's harsh. I don't believe a question can be wasted. If you really cared about anything other than complaining, you'd ask me what I meant (maybe I had a typo or I didn't sleep etc )instead of getting all bent . Sorry your in a crappy mood. Life's still cool tho- when you snap out of it ^^

[Asker]

There are fundamental differences in how men and women think, behave and react to situations. Men are typically the providers, the powerhouses (both physically and emotionally). While women are the receivers, more emotional, caring for her family. This is what I meant by masculine and femine. You didn't seem to grasp this concept nor the concept of "sweeping" (which is tradionally a demonstration of male power). I was simply saying don't answer a question you don't fully understand. Thank you.

[Simulacrum]

I think we put up too many barriers as girls. It is also really difficult for guys to try things with us because we have really high expectations of them and are always wary of their actions. I think under that kind of pressure it would be difficult for anyone to want to risk trying to sweep someone else of their feet. Also, why do we never try to really sweep guys of their feet? I think we should at least try. I have no experience, but I think I will try in my next relationship.

[toulouse]

I dint have higher expectations of someone else than I can live up to myself. I don't see what gender has to do with it so I think I at least half agree with you ^^

[Simulacrum]

I agree with your argument, I should not made such a generalisation.

[cacapisu]

True

[SloSupra]

I used to happen. It was true. Nowadays yaknow that saying... what was it? Nice guys finish last! I used to be the guy to buy flowers for a girl, open the door for her, pull the seat out, pick her up, pay for her... I think you get the idea? I did this for 3 serious relationships (1yr+), ended with the girls cheating on me with some prick. This is the same for most of my friends. I now do none of that and am more happy then I've ever been in a almost 4 year relationship. I'm sure other guys will agree with me. I'm not saying your one of those girls, its just the girls that use people are more frequent and the truly kind hearted girls who deserve this are left with nothing but broken hearted shells.

[Asker]

Very good answer

[cacapisu]

I think it doesn't work anymore. At least not at girls my age...