Are there any pretty girls who like bigger guys "fat"?

[Aphillyated215]

Hey, My name's Matthew.

I just turned 21 a couple weeks ago and am very stuck on this question. I have been single my whole life, and I am not being dramatic either. I had one girlfriend that lasted less than a week and it really wasn't anything since she was very immature and constantly tried to play mind games with me as if I was stupid. So I gave up on trying to find anyone since it really isn't working out for me. I have tried talking to girls and have gotten the same answer... "Oh you are such a great guy, I wish I could have found someone like you" or "i wish more guys were like you" but yet none of these girls ever gave me a chance since most of them had abusive boyfriends and just used me as an emotional therapist or a morale booster. I even had one girl say that I was too nice... as if I should have been an ass hole or something. I really don't judge a person by their looks unless I am not attracted to them for some reason. I give people a chance and am not the stereo typical guy who just likes t*ts and ass. I actually like good personalities, sense of humor, pretty eyes/ hair, etc. I just don't understand since everyone I have mentioned this too says there are tons of pretty girls who like big guys yet... none have strolled by me. I have grown to become extremely shy and have lost a lot of confidence since I have been constantly rejected even before people get to know me. Most girls I have met love to go for the good looking guys who happen to always be ass holes and cheat on them or abuse them. And these same girls come crying to me to cheer them up and they end up running back to those same guys. I am sure I will get the same answers as before but I am sure it's worth a try.

Updates

+1 y

I guess I will just start lifting weights like crazy. Stop being nice and kind towards woman and just start calling them sluts and whores and pulling their hair. They seem to like that. Must be why most girls go for black guys these days... the "gangster"

Updates

+1 y

Oh and cheat on them and make them feel like they can't do any better than me.

[Levin]

Well sir, being a nice guy and getting attention from women are perfectly compatible. But if you make yourself too available, if the lady thinks she can have you without question, she will likely not develop a romantic interest in you. In simple terms, we all want what we can't have. I would urge you not to look at things in such black and white terms. Good and evil, nice guys and jerks. You should strive to make yourself less of a doormat for these women, while maintaining your nice guy values. Doing the same thing over and over when it doesn't work is not bright. It's not a virtuous quality. Ask yourself what you can do differently in future. How you can develop your personality, how you can make yourself less available, what women desire. With regard to your weight, why do you talk of it is such a fixed manner? Weight is a function of how much you eat, and how much you burn. Why have you let yourself become so unhealthy? Why have you become so lazy in taking care of yourself? Being overweight is rightly not attractive. I assume you have been poisoned with the folly of 'you should accept yourself for who you are', as if the women who parrot this rubbish abide by it when looking for a man. You should always look to see how you can improve yourself, change what you can change and what is worth changing, accept what you can't change. Above all, stop making out that the world does everything to you, and that you're a passive back seat driver. You are in charge of your destiny.

[Aphillyated215]

I do agree with what your saying but I tend to stay away with acting like I'm a bad ass or acting like my d*** is bigger than every other guy's. I tend to be polite and a gentleman. I can be an asshole if I need to be which is funny since the people that p*ss me off don't expect it since they think I'm some pushover. The reason I am big is because my past... I didn't start getting big until I hit 12. I was put into foster care at that time and my parents did some f***ed up things to me.

[vmw2008]

"Above all, stop making out that the world does everything to you, and that you're a passive back seat driver. You are in charge of your destiny." Great answer! Couldn't agree more.

[Levin]

Again, you're resorting to extremes. If women hear polite and gentleman as a defining feature of a man's character, I don't blame them for being turned off. It's a clich?, and one shouldn't need to proclaim it, since it should be a given. But anyway, I gave my opinion, you don't have to take it.

Thanks vmw2008 :) Although my brain doesn't work early on in the day

[Levin]

cliche(with the accent above). stupid thing.

[Rated_R]

Don't listen to this man the world f*u*c*k*s us up evil rude woman and people with no respect that don't give a sh*t. Yeah I feel bad you were in foster care but sometimes that's a way to escape the sh*t you go through with parents I myself grew up with a abusive alcoholic dad and at times I would of taken foster care over all that I witnessed.. Anyways I talked to other girls and they have told me that nice guys is not what they want. So I'm sure Levin won't like my views but whatever.

[Rated_R]

Hey Matt I hear ya I was in your shoes growing up man. I struggled with my weight and never had a girlfriend in school no proms no dances nothing I decided that growing up if I could not be a lover I would become a fighter. I grew up the tough up picking fights and using my size to advantage and being unhappy but besides that. After high school being 6'3 and 250lbs I really didn't think I could get a girlfriend. I did meet a pretty girl kinda thick that accepted me for who I am but then destroyed me by cheating. The rage erupted and my self confidence went down, but I compensated that by deciding to lose weight, lifting weights and exercise . Afterword I met more girls by losing weight but other then that you should focus on yourself man there are girls that will like you for you they are rare but it will happen. I say the same thing to myself. As for being too nice I found out the hard way being the nice guy does not work you have to mix it all in show everybody the man you are and your confidence will soar and then focus on meeting a girl who wants to be with you. It will happen I know its hard trust me I been there still struggling with weight as it is but sounds like you got a good head on your shoulders good luck man.

[Aphillyated215]

Thanks bro, I appreciate that at least someone has an idea of what I'm going through. Yea I know what you mean I met some girl and I spent like $200 on her and made her a homemade meal and she dumped me on the side of the road. That all lasted about 2 days... But I am doing my best on trying to keep my head up and trying to lose weight. Hopefully my luck will pull through for me.

[Rated_R]

Sorry to hear that man I know one thing for sure that I myself am burning in my head no matter if your a heavyweight or not. Girls tend to not want someone nice the way I see it if they are not nice to you they why should you be nice to them. They should treat you the way they wan to get treated. I spent money on dates that I met online and cared for one in particular but fact is they don't care show these bitches your a alpha male and ass kicker that won't back down form nothing. That's what I do.

[udolipixie]

1) You're Shallow

So you want a pretty woman to overlook your fat but you won't overlook a woman's appearance?

You're shallow too.

Expecting *anything* more than what you have to offer is shallow and useless.

2) You're a liar

You're not really a nice guy. You're a nice until they say no guy.

It's funny how nice guys respect jerks enough to become them. Instead of being who they are they change for the worse (they think it's the worse too because they call these guys assholes) just to get sex.

That shows you their true goal.

If you would actually lower yourself to be a jerk for sex what does that say about you?

And if you would lower yourself to be a jerk for a relationship that shows how much you think you deserve a relationship where the person truly knows you.

And don't blame girls for making guys jerks because a guy also has the decision to wait for a girl who likes him for who he is.

That's not unrealistic since most men expect women to wait for sex or have a low number of partners.

As for the nice guy argument

Girls shouldn't date you because you're nice they should date you because they are physically & sexually attracted to you and want to be with you.

Nice is what's required of being a decent human being.

Sorry but filling that out doesn't entitle you to a girlfriend or sex.

The girls had chemistry with the jerks and assholes they prefer.

[Anonymous]

As I described to a girl who wrote a question asking why guys say they like "curvy" girls, but no one will date her, the problem is your definition. Guys like CURVY girls, not fat girls. Girls say they like bigger guys (meaning large build, muscles, maybe a little chubby but preferably not). They don't mean fat. Overweight people are hardly ever ideal to anyone. If fat women are not ideal to you, then you already know why you're having trouble getting girls. The problem I see with your question is that you're not asking why *girls* don't like you, you're asking why *pretty girls* don't like you. Which means you're saying you want an above average looking girl, when you yourself are not. You want girls to not be shallow and give you a chance despite your looks, when you probably wouldn't date a girl version of yourself, or a girl on your same level of attractiveness.

You want girls to stop being shallow? You've gotta stop being shallow too. Expecting *anything* more than what you have to offer is shallow and useless. It's often why guys have a harder time getting girls than girls do getting guys, because our standards on looks aren't as high as yours. We don't expect to date guys any hotter than ourselves, so I've never understood why guys think they can date girls hotter than themselves.

[snackeyg]

I always wondered who's as attractive as me. I consider myself fugly. So I guess that means I have to go for a girl I think is fugly?

[Levin]

I append this answer to mine.

[Aphillyated215]

To be honest, 80% of the girls I attempted to talk to were big. I don't expect "pretty" girls to be shallow since half the time they are all about looks thus the reason why woman take hours putting on makeup or worrying about what to wear or just plain being a bitch and talking sh*t about other girls... Girls want that perfect guy with abs and muscles... why? Because they are too infatuated with celebrities and musicians rather than personality. Looks don't last but heart does.

[TwistedLogic]

Exactly QA! The media influenced these young, and even some older, girls by setting a standard (definition) for beauty. However, trust me, both genders suffer from the same problem. Both men and women have an "almost-impossible-to-find-preference", not to mention the prejudice they make on others based on how they look like. This girl's answer, for example, had made a harsh verdict on your personality and what girls you usually prefer (go for). Her idea is essentially true, but not all the time.

[IndigoPassion]

I would just like to say that I love men of all sizes. What I love most though is their humor and personality, and I know that you probably hear this a lot but looks don't matter...at least not to me. And for the girls who say "You are too nice or too sweet" Are full of complete crap and are just using that as an excuse. I would kill for a "too sweet" guy. It's all the other girls who make use look like shallow women...

[Aphillyated215]

Well sh*t you should move to my area, I'd take you lol.

I'm glad at least some girls still have heart and a mind of their own. I appreciate you taking the time to answer. :)

[IndigoPassion]

Aww well you are very welcome :) I just wanted to tell you not to lose all hope, just because lots of girls are mean. I promise we're not all that way

[Rated_R]

I had to post again it won't let me re-add to my comment. but anyways your story fires me up man because what do these dumb girls/bitches want a skinny ass twerp to call their boyfriend who can't protect them for nothing if you get jumped in a alley. These girls should like you to protect them and on top of all that you are nice to them what more do they want. I know all these damn girls these days goes for "F'N" looks and you know it's bullsh*t. They don't look what you can do for them. To them its either ya wallet or if you look like a pretty boy well guess what guys like that are chumps who end up using them or can't stand up or defend them when need be or get their ass kicked by somebody like me. Good luck to you man don't worry about that girl man her loss what a bitch she see what its like when she gets treated like F'N garbage by some loser who just will use her and dump her ass.

[Aphillyated215]

Yeah bro thanks and I agree with you 100%. I've told many people before, I can change how I look on the outside... it may take some time but its possible. But an asshole will always be an asshole. A Player will always be a player. Just like an alcoholic will always be that. He may be sober for 2 years but one drink an he will get hooked all over again. Good looks will die over time, you won't look that way when your 80. But personality and heart always remain the same till the day you die.

[Rated_R]

Yes that's what I'M going to do I know its sounds bitter but when you are a nice guy to start and you get treated badly it transforms you into wanting to not be nice anymore. Especially if you been used by women. Make me mad as hell. I got friends coast to coast that say the same thing girls say "oh I want a nice guy" and its lies because they don't go for him or treat bad wither one.

[Levin]

You know Rated_R, you really know how to sell your qualities. You sound like a vile, violent, meat-head, and extremely bitter and prejudiced to boot. A real catch for any woman...

[Rated_R]

Thank you Levin I use to be a prince charming/knight in shinning armor but due to the fact being that with women got me nowhere I decided to cross over to the other side. See I'm a victim of someone else's creation. So the compliments I use to get being your a great guy why are you single use to make me wonder what's wrong and the answer is being nice is well...wrong..

[Rated_R]

You really made my day Levin I love your compliments it drives me more to be a Monster.

[HidingMyHeart]

You sound like a really sweet, genuine guy so please hold onto that since guys like you are rare. Besides, guys like you are the best for cuddling and loving unlike assholes out there who are too macho or whatever. Most girls these days are just young and shallow, just as the younger guys seem to be gross and immature. At this age, we tend to wanna explore and try out different types of mates to find out what we want in a person and what we don't Don't lose hope! You will eventually find a girl who deserves you! :) Best wishes

[heavenonearth]

I think that pretty girls usually appreciate guys like you, but the thing is that if they're at a healthy weight they usually go for guys at about the same level as them. First impressions are important, so even with an nice personality you have to catch their attention with looks first. You have to be the best you can be inside and out. However, If you have an outstanding personality, like this one guy I know who's bigger, girls of all sizes will enjoy your company, and some of them will date you. Thing is, there are guys out there who are fit and have nice personalities, and those are the guys pretty girls look for. Oh, and remember not to discount bigger girls either, many of them have great personalities as well, if that's very important to you. Good luck :)

[Anonymous]

Dude you just got to be funny I'm a bro I weigh like 260 I mean I'm pretty cut but anyways you have to use your personality and humor for you in my high school I was homecoming king I went to prom and tolo with the hottest girls in the school just because I was really funny and the girlfriend I have now is a small hot girl so its about personality and how you can work a girl bro