My boyfriend wants a threesome should I breakup with him because of it?

[Anonymous]

I used to have relations with this girl in high school. She was the first person to ever give me head and she took me on a few dates. She was really pretty but she had this weird idea about wanting to turn girls out and feel like she was enticed by the fact that I was innocent. We never kissed on the mouth and I never returned the favor she would just give me oral and ask to try things on me. I had never been in a relationship and I did like boys as well but I was shy. a lot of people thought I was this pretty innocent girl and although I fooled around witht that girl I still felt innocent. We lost touch after high school and I met this guy who was my first boyfriend. I have feelings for him and he was my first kiss as well as the person I gave my virginity to. I never told him about the girl until she called and asked me to leave him and get with her. He was excited about the information and when he saw her on social media I could tell he was attracted to her. But she is 100% lesbian and I am really possesive over him. I think because I told him she wasn't somebody I was serious with he assumed that it was okay to ask for a threesome and I got offended. She wanted me to leave him and he was asking for a threesome with her! I felt like he only asked because he thought it was okay since I had messed with a girl before. I also had a girlfriend before him but we had merely dated for a few months we never even touched each other. And I never knew love until I met him. And it hurts me so much that his eyes are on other women and even though he is asking for my permission I feel like he sees me as a stranger again and not like the naive girl he met who had neved had her first kiss and who he thought he could take home to mama and who was shy to be in bed with him. My fear is that he sees me differently and that he wants to adjust the relationship to fit his sexual fantasies and I love him so much but he is blatantly asking to cheat on me

[Timmyaintit]

He is not asking to cheat on you. He is simply asking a little more adventurous stuff. Set boundaries and try other things that will get him excited. Truth is: he is probably kind of bored with your sex life. Doesn't mean he isn't into you anymore! Also: you aren't innocent for him, you probably did a lot more than any other girl ever did in his eyes, so keep in mind that perspective has changed completely. For the girl: never ever contact her again because she does not want to be friends.

[Asker]

It just feels wrong to me I dont know if I can sleep comfortably knowing that if he feels like he has a greenlight to be mannish he will be. He might even cheat on me. He told me that I was the only girl he wanted and I believed him. We had a connection in my eyes that I had never experienced and so to be treated like a piece of meat really hurt. It made me feel like I'm just another girl in his eyes. I wanted us to be greater than a magical sex life! I want mutual trust and respect for each, and love and commitment to be the foundation of our relationship. Despite how fun it is to be adventurous and try new things I never would have chosen a good time over the sancitity of what I THOUGHT we had. I guess we dont have as big of a connection as ai thought we did because he showed his true colors. Im scared though because the idea of leaving him is so heartbreaking I dont know what to do. I want to work it out but thats huge red flag to me

[Timmyaintit]

This might sound weird: but a strong relationship ain't strong at all if you aren't working on your sex life. And again: you both have very different perspectives of who YOU are right now. He never said anything that refers to cheating but if your trust in him is that low already, you should break up. I feel like you are very judgmental towards him for asking a question most secure and stable relationships could get... He doesn't feel what you feel and doesn't realize he was out of line (according to you), so talk about it. Be open to what he wants and find a compromise

[Asker]

Just like many other couples we try other things in bed. I shouldn't have to bring another woman into the equation to keep him satisfied because I have done a lot and planned on continuing and Im good in bed on top of that. Also, as far as trust goes I think thats something I can't force. Trust is built upon and earned. I did trust him but when it comes to the evidence he wants to sleep with other women period. Agreeing to let him sleep with another woman is not something I will ever compromise with. And I know that he didn't realize the insensitivity of his request but I did tell him how I felt and he just denied that he had meant to have sex with her. When I asked what he meant he simply said "I only asked because I thought you wanted to." I never gave him any inclination that I wanted to sleep with her. I told him that she asked me to leave him and that she was an ex to me that I had no feelings for.

[Anonymous]

He is asking to cheat on you and with you watching. I get the feeling he's not as into you as you are into him, and this is evident in his request. You'd better clarify your feelings with him and determine if you should be with him at all.

[nerms123]

I don’t know. I think he was insensitive to you but maybe he thought you would like it. You should clearly explain all your emotions to him and see how he reacts then decide how to deal with him based on that.

[mellowman]

at the core, don't ever be pressured into doing anything you dont want to do. Threesome 2 girls and one guy is a pretty staandard fantasy, BUT if he is pressuring you to do something you dont want AND / OR something you see as cheating, then he is off base. Suggest you speaka to him directly and if he cannot accept that you waont, then the answer is he loves himself the best

[Clearblueskye]

Yes. It shows he has eyes for others. Don’t respect your relationship or monogamy.

[Anonymous]

Those types are bad news. Go for the MFM.

[reptocarl]

Break up