Guy stares at me but never speaks to me?

[Anonymous]

Please help, I’m so confused.

There’s this guy that I really liked (and had a crushed on) at school, he used to stare at me and I used to stare back. Sometimes I caught him staring at me, and he’ll quickly looked away, other times we just continued staring…it felt like seconds became hours... We never spoke to one another even though we were in the same class for 5 years. I always thought he was too shy (even though he was fine with other girls) and that he was under pressure from his friends…we from different backgrounds…

I haven’t seen him for 8 years and only recently saw him at a club again. Instantly without searching our eyes met – in a crowed room! Him on the one side, me on the other. During the night our eyes met a few times. I casually just looked away as if seeing him hasn’t upset me again. We have ‘met” twice in clubs now - staring. We don’t speak. We don’t even greet. I’m too shy, and I believe as a guy he should take the first step.

I did however invited him on Facebook, the first time he rejected me. Now I’m just on “pending”. He doesn’t add me or reject/block me.

I’m not ugly-looking, I’ve been called attractive and cute.

Don’t know what’s wrong with him?

[spanishgirl]

Okay...so you can assume that he is drawn to you, attracted to you, physically that is. Seems like you guys had a nonverbal or beyond verbal attraction. You never spoke to one another though, both of you must be shy then. And it seems as though you guys went in too deep, what I mean is that, the behavior was so reoccuring that a sudden verbal interaction would've been beyond awkward. The fact that you found each other after 8 f***ing years, is crazy! Even crazier than that is that he found your eyes immediately. I think we've already established that the two of you are fatally attracted to one another...

The fact that you mentioned that seeing him has upset you suggests that you are affected by his gaze. Now you need to ask yourself what kind of woman you are or want to be...do you want to be the kind who appreciates the compliment of physical attraction (and trust me you are not delusional, a man only looks when he likes what he sees), or do you want to be a real woman and give it a try knowing that at the end of your life you've done all you can and outlived all your possiblities?

Disregard Facebook, it is not an indicator, the countless 'eyesex' is. Listen to me very carefully, not everyone is lucky enough to experience such a connection without any verbal communication. The next time you see this man you better approach him or give him signals such as smiling or frequently looking over-let him catch YOU staring at him and then smile and look away, he WILL approach you if you do that! YOU SHOULD NOT LET THIS GO, you only live once! Change your attitude, be free spirited, don't dwell on anything that has happened, nor should you dwell on my advice, instead, adapt a whole new attitude, let yourself be happy. Allow yourself to let go of any doubts. Live life to its fullest, in all aspects. Women who are afraid don't get what they want, turn old and live in regret. Go crazy, be yourself and let go of the baggage! The Best of Luck :))

[imlikewtf]

wow I have a question and this answered it lol.

[AdamThomas]

I actually wouldn't bother waiting for him. He seems interested but shy. If you really want him that much (you must do to ask this question) then go for it. Next time you see him just go over and introduce yourself.

[missjane]

he may be intimidated and considering whether adding you is a good move or not. you act disinterested so he is trying hard not to show interest. obviously he really has a thing for you or he wouldn't be watching you from a distance again. a little advice if your interested you need to show it or else he is not going to make a move if that is what you want. the next time you catch his eye, give him your best smile, he will take this as a good sign and may gather up the courage to finally say hi.

[blacksh33p]

is it a good kind of stare or the blank/hate stare?

assuming it's good, then maybe he already has other girls in mind or something. if he rejected you, I think he's actually rejecting you, or playing hard to get.

message him your phone number on Facebook and see how he responds. if he doesn't talk to you then, then forget about it.

[Blackkid2011]

Q's:

1. Do you even know he's single? It's been 8 years.

2. Do you even know how he feels? Perhaps in his head you're the one that got away, end of story.

3. What makes you think he wants to pursue you? Even if you were a supermodel he has his own life now, perhaps School / Work > Women.

And Facebook is about as good a measure of anything as your toilet is at measuring miles. As far as I can see he's just staring at you and nothing will come of it. My question is what's wrong with you? It's been 8 years, and you're the one looking away casually, so if you're hiding that you're interested he's got no reason to pursue to begin with, without answering the above questions, by which I bet at least one of them has an answer that's negative towards your end-goal.

You're the one who is delusional.

[Asker]

Oh. Thank you. Guess that's a very straight answer from a guy...what I wanted. :)

Answer to question 1: I know his single. Resources close to home says he haven't been in a serious relationship..yet.

Answer to question 2: No, I don't know how he feels...will find out though.

Answer to question 3: I don't know. But then he should Not send mixed signals...even my friends noticed him staring at me.

Thanks...maybe I am the one whose delusional. :P

[Blackkid2011]

2: You need to know.

3: He might not be sending mixed signals at all; if he's staring because he laments the fact then you know, whatever; however he ISN'T going out to these clubs to MEET you, he ISN'T stalking YOU, he ISN'T doing anything that could be considered misleading. The man has the right to stare, you're the one playing with your own head living in the past imo.

[Nijababe99]

hey go easy on her ...he might still like her ...and he might still be single ..shes not delusional you are ...!

[Blackkid2011]

It's better to be honest because look at the situation:

1. He HAS to make the first move? If he hasn't thus far he probably won't.

2. SHE is bringing this up over a guy she knew 10 years ago, things have changed.

I'm not going to coddle it; if she isn't going to move first and it's been that long shiz may just never happen.

[confundida]

I agree with you blackkid2011! if you still haven't make the first move then most likely won't happen. Personally if I like someone and I have the feeling they like me because they are constantly staring or smiling at me I do whatever it takes to somehow be close to that person and start a conversation. Just leave the fear of rejection to the side if he likes you he will start a conversation and might even ask for your number, trust me! if you are showing him you are not interested then he never w

[Ghostwriter]

First off, check the sex offenders list and America's top ten most wanted. After that, if he doesn't make the first move, you can. But I wouldn't advise it. I think guys should also make the same move, and he should be stuck in purgatory forever until he realizes the error of his ways. Or...maybe he has a girlfriend. But not responding to your friend request, which requires no courage on his part, says to me that he is not worth wasting your time on.

[tehdrummer]

he just shy guy, maybe next time you see him at a club say hey, if you are waiting for a guy (shy) to make the first move you are insane, just say hey, it won't kill you

[whist]

If he hasn't made a move by now, (10 years holy cow) then maybe you should. Assuming that you like this guy enough to take the first step.

[art84]

He's afraid to make move cause he is shy same as you as well. You say you never talk to one another at these clubs but your eyes meet. Facebook, maybe he hasn't had time to add you or maybe he's not interested in being your facebook friend.

[Anonymous]

i like the scene in the movie "good will hunting" when the sklar walks up to will (matt damon) and says,"you're an idiot. I've been sitting there for 45 minutes waiting for you to come and talk to me. but I'm tired now and I have to go home. and I couldn't sit there anymore waiting for you." skylar then gives will her number and invites him to have coffee with her sometime. a confident woman is a sexy woman.

youtube.com/watch?v=k4PiVMasO6s&NR=1

[Anonymous]

8 years and you guys are still playing that game and as far as I can see you gonna make another 8 years. you guys are adults now come on

[Anonymous]

If he didn't make a move for 8 years...he won't make a move. Sorry.

[spanishgirl]

Any news? Did you approach him?

[Asker]

Haven't seen him again, when I do - I will approach him, but in the mean time I don't let it worry me a lot... too many good things in my life happening, for me to mourn over someone or something I never really had! :) Took your advice. Damn good advice! :DDDDD

[spanishgirl]

Thank you :)) I'm glad I could help! That's even better the less you think about him and live in the moment and all the good things the more natural and confident you will be when you do approach him! If you have any questions in the future just let me know :D

[gummybear888]

he probably wants something from you