How can a 5ft 7 inches, average looking guy can have that intimidating confidence?

Question

I am a very average looking guy. i am 22 years old. And my height is 5ft 7 inches. I also have vitiligo (leucoderma). I have always been very insecure about myself and i always wished for that intimidating confidence that guys like Henry Cavil, Chris Hemsworth and Russell brand have.
How can I achieve that confidence for myself so that I no longer would be insecure about myself?

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

I am somewhat in the same boat although, being much older than you, it's all moot for me now.

I WAS 5' 7" tall; I am shorter now.
But I am married.

I never had huge confidence even when I was your age because, frankly, I just didn't know much about girls.

But, once I got _A_ girlfriend when I was 17, that changed a bit. It was like "I did it!!".

Anyway, by the time I was in college, I just never thought about my height or cared.

Looking back so now I can articulate and give you advice...
1. What you lack in physical stature you can make up for in other stature...
A) Be smart - smarter than the jocks or other stud muffins.
B) Be funny. If you are smart, being funny is easier. If you can make a girl laugh, you are doing well.
2. Don't be insecure. It's an air about a person. For instance, relatively unattractive girls can give off a vibe that they are attractive and, believe it or not, that actually helps make them attractive. It works.
3. Don't work at getting a girlfriend. If you live your life for you, they will come.
4. I can't say anything about your skin condition, but the better your hygiene and dress, the more women will notice.
5. Don't come across as desperate... but make yourself available to women friends as if "I will be there for you if you need me. Just let me know."

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I am separating out this last one because it is, by far, the most important:...

6. LISTEN TO THEM. DON'T TRY TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS (unless they ask), JUST LISTEN.

Women have evolved men to solve their problems. So, that's our first inclination. I know it's shocking, but that's not what they want.

They want to be heard and listened to - that their opinions and feelings matter. That's more important to them than having their problems solved because when they are heard and understood, it makes them feel like they matter and that what's important to them is also important to you. They feel less alone by that and women are much more communal than we are.

So, going forward when talking to women, the most important sentences in the English language for you to say to them are:
A) "I understand."
B) "I'm listening."
C) "How does that make you feel?"
D) "I'm here if you need me..."
E) "Tell me more..."

>>> The more a woman can identify you as a close or even best friend and less "He's desperate and wants to get into my pants.", the more successful with women you will be.

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Personally, I did not learn that listening lesson until around the time I got married at 38, but what I lucked out with was that I got my first broken heart - and it was a bad one - just before I turned 19. Because of that, I soon became capable of talking to women and sharing emotions. That made me a bit more mature than other guys my age. It also enabled me to get along well with women and have women friends even if I wasn't in a relationship with them. More than a relationship, males need "Vitamin Female" - to be around them and interact with them. I was getting that and that was good enough and so I didn't feel unconfident around them by the time I was your age.

blank_expression · Accepted Answer

Just act like an asshole and pick fights with bigger guys. That is what most of them do.

katjmj · Accepted Answer

First is acceptance I guess. If you've accepted everything you think is an insecurity, you (or anyone for that matter) have nothing to hold against you. Then own your thing.

Agape93 · Accepted Answer

One way is by disruption. If you’re normally calm and quiet, suddenly booming for people to be quiet, and then dropping back down to a normal tone messes them up

Luckycharms12 · Answer

All of those you listed are not confident all the time. Find a hobby or something than you like make you feel good.

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

I'm near that height and I have awesome confidence. I'm also a pillar in this community and morale for the masses.

How can a 5ft 7 inches, average looking guy can have that intimidating confidence?

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How can a 5ft 7 inches, average looking guy can have that intimidating confidence?

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