What does it mean when a guy says “to be with a girl like you would be an achievement” ?

[Dreamgirl97xo]

I asked my girlfriends and they reckon he’s just after sex because an achievement is like a trophy so basically he just sees me as a trophy , and someone to sleep with

He talks about sex a log and constantly tells me how sexy I am and how amazing my body is

im used to guys drooling over my body all the time but I never seem to get that lovey dovey vibe. You know, like cute stuff said to me. It’s always sexual and how they’d love to sleep with me

should I just wait to meet this guy and make a judgement on him when I see him or should I run for the hills if he’s mentioning sex

we met through Instagram by the way

[Freddy78361]

He is saying that being with you takes as much work as completing a difficult effort (running a marathon, climbing a mountain, acing an exam, etc). He means it will take a lot of work to impress you, wear down your defenses so that you are open to physical intimacy, and get up the nerve to proposition you.

[Dreamgirl97xo]

So should I make him wait for sex then? Obvs with this lockdown public places are closed so we can’t go out on a date, it would have to be his house but scared he will have sex with me and then not want to talk to me after

[Freddy78361]

It sounds like you are attracted to him and he is to you as well. Don't be strategic about making him wait for sex. It's your body, do with it as you please.
Call him on it. Say to him "About that whole being with me would be an achievement thing... are you up for the challenge? I am not an easy lay. It will take time, effort, and chemistry fir us to be together. I am up for trying if you are."
If he is a man you will know it.
If he is a mouse you will know it.

[Anonymous]

A lot of the lovey dovey stuff tends to come out after the balls are empty.

[Dreamgirl97xo]

So sex before a relationship is okay?

[Opinion Owner]

It depends on what you mean by relationship. In my experience, sex comes after you've established at least SOME level of rapport and mutual respect. So in that sense it's after a relationship has formed which is at least built on some degree of trust and caring. But it also tends to come before the relationship turns "exclusive" where you have the conversation that you'd like to both decide not to see other people.

[Dreamgirl97xo]

So having sex before you give each other that girlfriend and boyfriend title

[Dreamgirl97xo]

That’s what I mean. Like some guys wait till the girl is ready and sometimes that could mean waiting till they are exclusive. Others might want to test out the goods before commuting to a serious relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, the way I see it I would never be exclusive with someone I'm not having sex with. In what sense would we be exclusive? I'm already not having sex with pretty much the whole of humanity. So if I'm not having sex with a girl I would definitely still be open to meeting other girls and going on dates. I always find it super weird when someone thinks that just because you're TALKING to someone that means you shouldn't be meeting other people. That's just crazy.

[Dreamgirl97xo]

So you’d have sex with them then possibly go exclusive? Thing is, some girls say “why should sex determine whether you like someone” it does because sex is very intimate and imagine being with a partner who didn’t please you in the bedroom. Sex is very important in a relationship because without sex you might as well just be friends 😂

[Opinion Owner]

Precisely! Without sex you ARE just friends. And my guess is you have more than one friend. Not exclusive. And you can't be exclusively having sex with someone you're not having sex with. So we're left with exclusivity coming AFTER sex--not before. Maybe at the same time, but definitely not before.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for mho!

[Reaperbot666]

most likely means he thinking having sex with you. would be like doing something on his bucket list. "sleep with a attractive girl, who is most likely out of my league" or "sleep with an attractive girl, who is young and hot" type deal.

if you plan to date this guy. don't have any sexual interaction with him for like 3 months at least. and see how long he'll stick around and be nice to you.

[bklynbadboy1]

Dont sleep with him your just another notch on his belt. Any guy that has a sex log major red flag he only want to fuck you and then he'll probably tell everybody about it. So dont walk away from him run away! You feel me?

[Guanfei]

It's just smooth talk to get you in his bed.
But he's right, it would be an achievement to be with you. You're a top tier girl. And not just for the sex.

[spartan55]

Guys love it when girls draw their own conclusions without actually clarifying what they meant. Such a joke.

[alance99]

You should wait for sometime before making any decision and if he continues to talk about only sex then just block him

[SilverRain92]

It depends on your goals. If a guy is only interested in having sex with you don't expect him to be a good boyfriend. Definitely he needs you for sex because you look attractive

[Dreamgirl97xo]

But to call me an achievement.. hmm I don't know my friends always twist things and make me look into things, it’s like they don’t want me to be happy

[SilverRain92]

Why are they your friends them if your intuitive telling you so. Honestly I think that your low self esteem might be partially formed by influence of some of your friends.
It's just a hypothesis though

[SilverRain92]

Honestly I guess that most of the guys would not mind to sleep with you. But you are not looking for sex buddy, right? I guy you want to find a boyfriend who would take care of you and love you

[888theGreat]

Is this the guy that backed out of the date because it rained.

[Dreamgirl97xo]

@888theGreat nope. He’s an arsehole. This is another guy I met on insta

[SilverRain92]

Good luck with your date

[jessicasissy]

Given the context I'd say he sees you only as a trophy to be won

[Dreamgirl97xo]

Sick of guys only seeing me as a piece of arse. Clearly not girlfriend material

[jessicasissy]

I'd say if the majority of guys you meet treat you like this it's time for a change of venue for where you look to meet guys. There are good ones out there but they don't usually hang out at the places the not so great guys go.

[Dreamgirl97xo]

Well I normally meet these guys on Instagram

[jessicasissy]

Then I'd avoid meeting new guys there. Best relationship I ever had I met her at church of all places.

[Anonymous]

The phrase itself can mean many other things... But in that context just rid yourself of the creep.

[Hotboy_booblover]

The guy has inferiority complex or he is flattering u

[Dreamgirl97xo]

What does inferiority complex mean?

[Hotboy_booblover]

Means he has less confidence on himself

[andy530]

He sees you as an object or a trophy

[Fuentes]

A trophy