He finds his mother to be more beautiful than me?

Question

I am his wife. He calls me beautiful too. But he LOVES the way his mom does her hair, dresses moves her hips. I get jealous because he makes it obvious that he thinks his mom is drop dead gorgeous.

When he buys her clothes he makes sure they are sexy but conservative. And he ONLY buys her clothes and jewelry.

He wants me to be like his Mom. To dress like her to get tattoos etc. But Im not like that. she's wild and free spirited and Im more modest and plain dressing.

He compliments her all the time and tries to pick out clothes for me that resembles her style (which is unique). When we are out shopping he says "this looks like somthing my mom would wear." And hates eveything i pick out.

Thoughts on how to cope with this? (Please. No rude comments.)

TonyT1986 · Accepted Answer

He’s got his priorities mixed up in my opinion. You are his wife, so you come 1st. Sure he can love you and his mom, but right now he’s choosing her over you and that’s no bueno. Even if he thinks he isn’t, that’s what I hear when you describe this and you need to remind him that you come before his mom.

Here’s a wild concept. How about he backs off buying her clothes and instead you step up and gifts from you all as a couple are things you manage? That way he can focus on loving her in other ways?

My other idea is to talk to him about your own unique fashion sense and ask that he focuses on what you like to wear, not trying to buy you things to dress like her. As a guy it makes no sense that my wife would dress like my mom, and I can’t see my mom as being sexual.. my wife would be the sexiest person to me.

And maybe that’s the entire point.. he needs to desire you and see you as the sexiest part of his world. Sure he will always love his family, but his focus should be on you first and loving you with no doubts.

Take it or leave it, that’s my feedback.

_SOARER · Accepted Answer

This does not sound like a normal relationship they have. Its sort of sick.
You need to have an honest discussion with him and tell him how you make him feel, and how his behavior and feelings towards his mom are dysfunctional.
If he blows it off, delegitimizes your thoughts/concerns, and or attacks you. You need to reconsider your relationship with this man.
Be patient, be understanding, but dont tolerate disrespect.

You are beautiful you are valuable, and you need a man who see's you as more than just an extension of his mother.

Anonymous · Answer

There sounds like there are some underlying unresolved psychological issues. I hope you guys get them worked out, because all of this sounds CREEPY!!! Was he raised by a single mother? Why isn't his dad stopping this weird behavior, it sounds like he's sexualizing his mother (MESSED UP!). He may need counseling or a therapist. This is not normal behavior.

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

That's kind of weird. Most guys dont buy clothes for their mother

G5TWA1 · Answer

That's a fight you can't win, but since you guys are married I advise you to be very assertive and tell you're not his mom and he should not try to change you

RHK36 · Answer

Sounds like you married a boy and not a man. Outside of communicating how you feel along with couples counseling maybe, not much else you can do.

Smirnoff23 · Answer

Think he should be married to his mum he is not right

007kingifrit · Answer

nobody should find their mom that attractive, i'm half tempted to ask for pics of his mom lol

AmeerX · Answer

May be you should do as he likes you to wear. Try becoming more like his mom

Anonymous · Answer

Send him to therapy; because it sounds like he has the hots for his mother.

Pliskin55 · Answer

"Please no rude comments” Well I’m out

Tonythecreator · Answer

Dude that’s super fucking weird

asshole_ · Answer

not sure

He finds his mother to be more beautiful than me?

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