Why do I always get ignored when I love and care for my crush? Are my feelings too intense?

[Anonymous]

My crush /guys I have been involved have always ignored me when I wanted a relationship. The first one ignored me when I expressed my feelings, I reconnected with him but hurt him and he never came back (we stayed together 17-20 years old)
the 2nd was a one night stand (did not do much as I was still a virgin) and he came back, don't really know why, he sticked with me, i Ignored him because he was 40+ and it was a fun night for me.
the 3rd started as a one Night stand then turned into companionship, I was more intimate, ignored me when I fell for him (he was cheating) after 2 years he tried to reconnect, I ignored him.
4th was a random crush, he ignored me when I was chasing him but after a few month when he was about to leave the country I sent him a message and wanted to stay friends
5th I was interested in him and so was he then I discovered that he was hurt, I healed him from his traumatic past (spent 1 year), chased him but he ignored me... got my heart broken and I decided to leave.

i never date guys who likes me, I always went for guys who I like or has a crush on.
by chasing I mean paying for them, giving expensive gifts & food , texting them first... sometimes I do appear obsessive but reallly it's just my way of expressing my intense feelings. Is this why I get ignored everytime?

[fallen_wings]

Well, when guys get to sleep with you, they feel complete and stop caring. It's like dogs wanting a treat. They'll act dead, sit, roll over for a cookie. But, when you give them the cookie and you try making them do trick, won't do it. That's why one has to "keep boys on the palms of our hands" to make them care more.
It can also happen with arrogant guys that the more you care, more they ignore you. (again, this does not happen with all guys)
It's kind of hard and I know how you feel. Good luck, one day there will be a guy who is the best for you.

[Asker]

"keep boys on the palms of our hands" This is what I need to learn. Because I am prone to giving too much, my mom told me that it should be mutual but I fail each time because I become so passionate and I give More than I receive.
Hopefully someday I do find one guy who loves me in the same manner that I love him. Thank you

[DesolateRain]

The guys that you have a crush on just aren't into you.

Like the same way you're not into the guys who are into you.


For whatever reason you don't like the guys who "chase" you, the same reasons can be applied when the guys you "chase" don't like you as well.

You sound like you're in quite the paradox.

[Asker]

Not really paradox, like my 4th and 5th crush would stare at me, they would make the effort to come when I called them (sometimes) but they don't want to invest
While when I am not interested, since the beginning I am not interested... mostly because of physical appearance. I reject them from the beginning.
If you ask me I am rated on average 6-8 out of 10.

[DesolateRain]

That's exactly what I'm getting at here, they don't want to invest because they're not that into you.

I don't care if you're even a 10 in physical attraction, some people in this world just aren't going to be that into you.

[Asker]

Oki understood :)

[Hogwheels]

You pursue unhealthy people.

[Asker]

Most of them of youth 1st /2nd relationship... I like dating people who I can grow with and build a relationship not a man who has everything

[Hogwheels]

I'm the same way, but guys who look to sleep with women early in the relationship are almost never good boyfriends.

[spartan55]

I think that is one of probably many reasons.

[AFellowWeeb]

Bc women are stupid and like bad boys