Do guys do this when they are scared to approach you?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys,

I sometimes get the impression guys are afraid to approach me. Is it true or is there a other reason for this behavior:
Example:
- I was at a party with a friend, catching a guy starting at me all night. We decided to go to the bathroom. When I came out this guy was now standing next to my friend giving her his number, while looking at me with big eyes! ;
-I'm catching a guy staring at me. He approaches our table asking if we are single and looking me straight in the eye. My friend starts talking to the guy and he turns to her, while in the midst of their conversation staring at me. I felt like I was the one he wanted to talk to;
- just random staring and doing nothing;
- approaching and suddenly make a turn to my friend.

Note : while going out there is always a guy showing interest, so it's not like this happens all the time.

[TurboKid]

I was generally motivated by courtesy rather than fear in such contexts so if a girl looked like she didn't want my company, I would refrain from approaching out of courtesy rather than fear. If she was gorgeous but looked interested in some company, I'd approach.

[TurboKid]

Maybe it is a type of fear in a way, but not a conventional type like fear of rejection (I've been rejected many times, no biggie). More like I just don't want to bug her if she doesn't appear to me like she wants any company.

[Asker]

It's the vibe she is giving you :).

[TurboKid]

I think either way though if you want to reduce the odds of this happening, it helps to try to look very friendly and approachable and in a very good mood. That works whether the guy is afraid of rejection (in which case it might make him think he has better chances with you) or just doesn't want to take too big a gamble of disturbing you.

[Asker]

Thank you for your advise :). I have a very friendly and sweet appearance. I'm feminine in a way a flirt with my eyes and Make a guy approach me. While very attracted to a guy I sometimes start the convo myself. But I see, it's al about being friendly. Also for just having a convo. How to be friendly with a guy, as a woman, without being 'the hunter'? :)

[TurboKid]

I'm afraid I lack experience in how to do this as a woman but I'm not much of a hunter either. My style is not smooth like exchange glances with a woman across the room and approach her and be all smooth while putting on moves. It's more like, "Hey, how's it going?" More friendly and humorous since I'm not cool enough to be like a smooth hunter. Also, I didn't mind if she wasn't interested in me that way and just wanted to be friends or just have a nice conversation. That's still a win for me. So I just tend to talk to everyone in a social event all around me: guys, girls, old, young, but I might talk more to a girl I find really pretty. I think if you do it that way, you give off more of a fun-loving and friendly vibe instead of "hunter".

[Asker]

I really like your reply and I'm guessing you are right! Have fun with everyone, even just for a convo. If you like it ofcourse. Doesn't mean you have to flirt with the whole room. Raising your positive vibe. Thank you :)!

[TurboKid]

Cheers!

[LZPanzer]

Ditch the friend. Guys can be scared off if you go out with a group. The best way to reduce your intimidation factor is to be alone, flying solo.

[Asker]

Haha that's a good one 😉. That's why I sometimes walk around solo.

[LZPanzer]

Where, what kind of places.

[Asker]

In bars or at parties. Also went on trips by myself. Not for men but for fun.

[boggboss]

Sounds more like your friend is more friendly then u and reciprocated the convo so the focus changed on her

[Asker]

Yes maybe. I'm friendly though and a sweet appearance.

[boggboss]

Yet your appearance means nothing if u don't talk to people in all the stories u send its your friend thats starts talking to them whilst your just there is you spoke up they might be more intrested in you

[Asker]

Thank you for your advise :).